Guruji: The preference is “aḥ, aḥm” because adding the sound “m” to “aṃ” makes it “aḥ”; to “aḥ” makes it “aḥm”. Every bīja ends with an “m” which connects with Mother to get its power. The last two vowels (śakti bījas) are “aṃ” and “aḥ”. When we add “m” (which is another bindu) to “aṃ” it becomes “aḥ”; similarly “aḥ” becomes “aḥm” (pronounced aham). Thus the last two vowel bījas get differentiated from the first two. Aham is a great mantra called kāma-kalā. This has many shades of meanings. A is negation, stands for zero. Ha is visarga, two zeros. M ends everything into silence, it is also a zero. Aham can be read vertical down as a circle for face, two circles for breasts and one more for a zero, the source (womb) of all zeros. This is called kāma-kalā.
Elaborated by Ādi Śaṅkarā in his śloka:
mukhaṃ binduṃ kṛtvā kuca-yugam adhas tasya tad-adho
harārdhaṃ dhyāyed yo hara-mahiṣi te manmatha-kalām.
It means: Make a circle for face, two circles below for breasts, an oval for womb and meditate on this kāma-kalā.
It is the pañcadaśī (manmatha is the ṛṣi) Kāma-kalā is brahmavidyā. Top (circle) zero is an illusion. Creation of a triads whose sum is zero like for example: 1,0, -1; pi,0, -pi; x,o,-x; t,0,-t: good, 0, bad; all triads are illusions. The whole drama of the world is an illusion. The only truth is śūnya, the zero, which contains all of cosmos, which is itself śūnya. Thus Buddhists call this shunya, Hindus call it pūrṇa. Meditation on kāma-kalā leads to this realization. Me, world, śivā, śakti are all illusions. This is the greatest vidyā. I don’t exist. So I cannot be created, nor destroyed. Time, space, matter, knowledge, action don’t exist. This has been called Mokṣa.
The final release. Aksharas (letters) “a” to “ksha” aren’t just aksharas - it is a Saraswathi mantra in itself. When I give the mantra during Deeksha to a disciple, it becomes beejaksharas, else it remains only as aksharas. Grace is matched by effort. Effort nil, grace nil.
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