 |
| Tinkadi Baba |
Pilgrimage to Holy Sites
Second Marriage
Intense Practice in Vrindāvana
Prabhupada’s Final Days
Prabhupada’s Sweet Nature:
Various Supernatural Incidents and Traits
Krishna’s Qualities in His Bhakta
The Actual True Guru (Sad-guru)
Nearly thirty years ago at a place named Adibadri in Vraja a practitioner (sadhaka) was sitting, leaning against the wall of a small room near a temple. He had matted hair and his body was well-shaped. While he was submerging his mind in thinking of Yugala-kiśora (the youthful couple, Radha and Krsna) it seemed as if he sometimes began to get drowsy. Suddenly, his drowsiness broke and he began to chastise himself for it. One could not tell how late it was. There was no way of telling what time it was. It seemed to be after midnight. The practitioner with shuffling steps went out of the room. Then observing the positions of the stars in the clear sky, he tried to determine the time. He decided to take his bath and then sit down again for private worship (bhajana). In front of him was dense forest. As soon as the sadhak took hold of a water pot and stepped forward, he noticed two blazing eyes splitting the dark night in front of him. They were just like two bright stars! It was probably some ferocious forrest animal. The animal was not standing very far away. The practitioner fixed his gaze on the animal and tried to determine what kind of animal it was. In that condition, the practitioner was unable to determine what it was and remained standing there, unsure of what to do. Thinking that valuable time was being wasted, the practitioner became restless. Then, in order to scare the animal, he shook his pot and made a sound like "hush hush," The creature, not being even slightly frightened, remained standing just as it was before. After spending sometime in this impasee, the animal jumped across in front of the practitioner and quickly disappeared into the forest. At that moment he saw stripes on the body of the animal. The practitioner realized then that it had been a tiger!
Who was that practitioner whom a ferocious tiger that was standing just in front of him gave up as food and went away? Who was that practitioner who though seeing death in the form of a hungry tiger standing before him did not feel any fear whatsoever. That practitioner had attained such a treasure that even a ferocious tiger forgot his ferociousness. He had attained such a state of fearlessness that even when confronted with a ferocious tiger he was unperturbed.
He was known in Vraja and among those born in Vraja, who thought of him as one of their very own, as Tin Kadi Baba or Mauni Baba.
There is a village named Manoharpur in the Ghatal Mahakumar part of the district of Medinipur in West Bengal. Its qualities are just likes its name—mind-enchanting. Truly, the beauty of that village steals everyone's hearts. Nature adorned that village in an expert way with many kinds of trees, flowers, and ponds. Therefore, perhaps, the village was named Manoharpur.
Several generations of people in the lineage of Mother Jahnava Tha- kuram, the non-different power of Nityananda Prabhu, spent their lives in this village. Srī Srī 108 Prabhupada Tinkadi Goswami was born in that village. His father's name was Harimohan Goswami and his mother's name was Suradhuni Devi.
It was the full moon day of Magha in Bengali year 1313 [1907 c.e.]. In all directions sankīrtana of the holy names and other auspicious rites were being performed. The house of Harimohan Goswami was also filled with the joy of sankīrtana of the holy names. In the house were sacred images named Gaura and Balarama that were nearly five hundred years old. In the courtyard of the temple the sankīrtana of the names of Hari was in progress. Many Vaisnavas too made auspicious appearances at the house of Harimohan Goswami. On such an auspicious day, at an auspicious time, a male child was born, lighting up the lap of Suradhuni Devi, wife of Harimohan Goswami. Harimohan Goswami's joy knew no bounds. With great joy he began to serve the Vaisnavas.
That was Suradhuni Devi's eighth child. Before him six sons and one daughter had died. In the birth house the mid-wife cut the child's umbilical cord and took him on her lap. Then she said: "this son is mine." Suradhuni Devi gave the mid-wife three cowries (tin kadi) and bought her son. Therefore, the son became hers and the son's name became Tinkadi.
Harimohan Gosvami named his son Kisorī-kisorananda. He was a very beautiful baby. Gradually, little-by-little, he learned to walk. He was very mischievous. At the slightest inattentiveness of his mother the child scattered and broke pots and lamps and drove his mother to distraction. From time to time his mother became upset at the misbehavior of her child and would tie him up. All of the neighbors in the area loved that child. With or without cause the neighboring mothers would come and caress the child.
In this way five years passed. By the rule of fate, suddenly, one day darkness descended on the house of Harimohan Goswami. After only a few days of illness Suradhuni Devi passed away. At the loss of his wife Harimohan Gosvami was deeply troubled. Above all, the biggest problem was who will now take care of his child. Many recommended to the Gosvami that he marry a second time, but he was not at all in agreement with the idea of marring a second time. He owned a little bit of land, but with that it was not possible to maintain his household. From time to time he had to visit the households of his disciples. From what little he received as gifts from them he ran his household. In this situation who would take care of his child?
Thereupon, Harimohan Goswami began to worry about finding some way to solve the problem. One of his distant cousins was extremely affectionate towards the Goswami's son. Seeing the Goswami so worried she said to him: "Why are you worrying? I will take care of your child. Give your child over to me. From today you should think that this child is mine not yours." Hearing these words, Goswami became completely free from worry. He said: "You've done a good thing, sister. You have saved me; from today this child is yours!" From that time on the Dhai Ma (wet nurse) began to raise Tinkadi.
That child only five years of age was the very life of Dhai Ma. Her house was four or five miles away from Manoharpur in a town called Ramcak. In order to take care of the lad Tinkadi, she had to move to Manoharpur. Harimohan Goswami was generally visiting his disciples' houses. After ten days, after fifteen days and sometimes after a month he would return to the house. Goswamiji handed the care of his son to Dhai Ma and was able to go back and forth to and from his disciples' houses without worry.
The boy was very capricious. If he wasn't watched every minute he would disappear somewhere. When Dhai Ma did not see the boy, she became agitated and searched for him. After much searching, she would catch him and bring him back. She always and in all places had to watch him, otherwise where this mischievous boy was and what he was doing was difficult to keep track of. For Dhai Ma it was an extraordinary responsibility. If one did not give him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it he would cry, roll around in the dirt on the gound, and make a big fuss. It was a good deal of trouble for Dhai Ma. In this way, through her care and his father's affection the boy Tinkad. i was raised.
In time, chalk was placed in his hand for his education, and he was enrolled in school. But it was a great problem sending him to school for he did not at all want to go to school. How much caressing and begging was necessary to send Tinkadi to school. In the evening Dhai Ma would sit and teach the boy. The boy learned to read very quickly, but he still did not want to study at all. With much caressing Dhai Ma read to him repeatedly many kinds of stories and made him practice reading. How many times after sitting down to study did he say "I'm hungry! I'm tired!" and so forth. In this way the education of the boy Tinkad. i progressed.
As much as his age increased, the boy's capriciousness also increased. All the time it was only play and more play. If he even heard the word "study" it was as if the sky had broken and fallen on his head. Getting him to study at school was a huge problem. Just before it was time to go to school the boy would disappear. His foster mother becoming anxious would search for him at this house and that house and bring him back. After that, so much caressing and begging was required to get him to go to school. Some days she wasn't able to find Tinkadi at all. After the time for school had passed he would show up. One day just before it was time to go to school the boy disappeared. Dhai Ma after much searching returned to the house without finding him. At that moment she happened to glance up at a tree and saw that Tinkad. i had climbed the tree and was sitting there. After a great deal of Dhai Ma's begging he felt sorry for her and came down from the tree. Another day she was again unable to find Tinkadi when it was time to go to school. After that Dhai Ma went to take care of some work in the house and found him hiding under the bed.
In this way Tinkadi gradually became older. After a while the time for his brahminical initiation (upanayana) arrived. When Tinkadi was about the age of nine, Harimohan Goswami performed the sacrament of brūhmana initiation and gave him [Vaisnava] mantra initiation (diksa) as well. When the day of the initiation arrived there occurred an amazing transformation in Tinkadi. When his head had been shaved and he had put on the saffron cloth, an amazing, profound state of feeling was not- icable in him. Nearly all of the Vaisnvas. avas who had come inferred that this boy is not an ordinary boy. Through him many blessings will come to the world. They all gave him their blessings from the core of their heart. Saying to Dhaima: "[Please give] alms, Mother!" he accepted his first alms from her.
After his initiation Tinkadi's capriciousness for the most part diminished. Every day in the morning he wanted to read one chapter of the Gīta. It was as if the Gīta was his life. When it was time to go to school he would talk a copy of the Gzfū with him. At school when it was time to practice reading he would read the Gita instead of the other books. At the time he showed a special attraction for safikīrtana of the holy names, too. Everyday he wanted to perform kīrtana in the evening in front of the Gaura and Balarama images estabhished in his house. When kīrtana was being performed, from time to time special emotional states were seen in the boy Tinkadi.
Gradually Tinkadi left boyhood behind and entered his teenage years. In his teenage years, his body developed in an amazing way. His eyes became inclined, his chest defined, and a special beauty appeared on all of his limbs with the fresh arrival of youth. His speaking expressions and ability to speak were also amazing. He used to please everyone with his used of very beautiful expressions. During this period since he had become so competent in learning his education was completed.
His father Harimohan Goswami became concerned about his son's future. They owned a little bit of land, but it was not enough to support a family on. Therefore the Goswami thought that if he introduced his son among some of his disciples, in the future he would be able to support himself in the profession of teaching. Thinking in this way, he began to take his son with him to the houses of his disciples. Just taking him to the houses of disciples was not enough. He also needed to have some knowledge of scripture. If one just becomes a guru it will not work. Therefore, Harimohan Goswami began to teach his son the Bhagavata, the Caifanya-carifamrfa, the Caitanya-bhagavata and so forth. His son had no enthusiasm for study in general, but for the study of all those texts on bhakti he was extremely enthusiastic. Gradually, following the system the family gurus, he began to have a few disciples. When he was at home Prabhupada Tinkadi Goswami would recite every day the Bhagavata, Caitanya-caritamrta and other bhakti texts in front of the sacred images Srī Gaura and Balarama. From time to time he would go with his father and sometimes alone to the houses of disciples.
Gradually, Prabhupada Tinkadi Goswami turned into a young man. His father Harimohan Goswami then began to worry about his son's marriage. He received information about a young lady with all the right qualities. In a village near Manoharpur named Khanjapur lived Gopīnath Goswami. He had a seven year old daughter named Sītala Sundarī. Her nature and her figure were very beautiful. Her father, too, had began to worry about finding his daughter a good match. Harimohan Goswami one day made the proposal to Gopīnath Goswami. Gopīnath Goswami could not control his joy. He, too, in his mind had nourished the wish to offer his daughter to Tinkadi Goswami. He joyfully accepted the proposal of Harimohan Goswami. On an auspicious day, in an auspicious hour, the marriage of Prabhupaīda Tinkadi Goswami with Sītala Sundarī, the daughter of Gopīnath Goswami of Khanjapur, was performed. Gopīnath Goswami with tears in his eyes sent his daughter to the house of her father-in-law.
In the village of Manoharpur at the house of Harimohan Goswami, the new bride's arrival was auspicious. Everyone's joy knew no limits. Seeing the young, capricious girl-bride Harimohan Goswami was lost in joy. In this way, in the midst of so much joy a year passed. Suddenly, by the laws of fate, on to this golden household fell the shadow of great sadness. Prabhupada's father, after only a few days of illness, left his perishable body and set out for the eternal sport. Prabhupaīda was then only sixteen years of age. Without his father, without his mother, Prabhupada's heart was stricken with sadness. He felt himself completely helpless. All his neighbors began to console him. Gradually, Prabhupaīda regained his mental strength and began to take care of the responsibilities of the household. In this way, a few years passed in the midst of a mental state burdened with sadness.
Though indeed Prabhupada Tinkadi Goswami began to pass his married life in this way, still day after day it began to seem as if his mind had disappeared somewhere in thoughts of the higher truths. Prabhupada had heard when he was a child "Churning curds in the early morning makes the butter come out good. Worship of Krsna when one is young brings success when one grows old." This saying began to disturb his mind again and again. The most valuable time of his life was passing by. If worship of Krsna does not happen now, when will it? As more days go, by bondage to worldly life will increase. If someone waits, sitting on the shore of the sea thinking: "when the waves of the sea calm down I will take my bath," one is not likely to ever get his bath. In the same way, if someone waits thinking: "when the waves of the troubles of worldly life become calm I will worship Krsna," then one's worship will not likely ever happen. In such thoughts joys of worldly life began lessen for Prabhupada and his passion for worship began to increase.
At that time Prabhupada was very fashionable. He always wore dhotis and kurtas of the finest cotton. He never wore ordinary or soiled clothes. He also used to smoke then. In order to smoke he used to use a very beautiful hookah and along with it the finest tobacco from Vish- nupur. When he had to go somewhere he would not forget to take his hookah and the Vishnupur tobacco with him. When going to a disciple's house he used to take a brūhmana cook with him. When going from one village to another his disciples used to take Prabhupada in a palanquin.
After passing a few years in this manner a son was born lighting up the lap of his wife Sītala Sundarī. The birth of a son is a matter for Prabhupada's joy. But in his heart there was no joy. It was as if the joy had disappeared somewhere. He began to think that the most valuable time of his life was passing and that his bondage to worldly life was increasing day by day. When will I offer my body, mind, and life-breath to the lotus feet of Srī Govinda and wholeheartedly do private worship (bhūjana)? This kind of thought began to lessen his joy in worldly life. From time to time he began to visit Navadvīpa and Nīlacala.
At that time there was an uncontrollable desire in his heart. He thought: "I have made many disciples, but if I am to explain scripture a little knowledge of Sanskrit is necessary. Thinking in this way, he began for some time to study with some pandita in Navadvīpa. But thinking about his household life and abut the Lord created interferences in his study. His studying never happened again. He returned to Manoharpur. On account of responsibilites, he remained in household life, but his mind again and again ran away to Vmdavana. It was as if some invisible power was beckoning him. Because of the uncontrollable force of his mind one day, without telling anyone, he actually started out for Vrindavana.
After reaching Vrindavana his joy knew no limits when he saw the places where Srī Krsna's sports occurred. After visiting those places he practically forgot all about his home and determining that he wanted to live permanently in Vraja, he began to pray to the feet of compassionate Srī Radharani: "O Compassionate Kisorī, don't throw me back into the dark well of worldly life. Mistress, don't allow me to go from Vraja to any other place." While praying in this way he arrived at Mount Govardhana. There he heard from people that at Govindakunda lived a perfected great-soul (siddha-mahūtmū). His name was Srī Srī 108 Manohara Das Babajī Maharaj. Prabhupada with great excitement and with very little delay went running to Govinda-kunda wishing to see the perfected Baba.
 |
| Manohar dasa Babaji |
Though Prabhupāda had returned to his house, his detachment from household life began gradually to increase. He had one son whom he named Vmdavana[candra]. When the child was only three months old, Prabhupada's wife Śītala Sundarī left behind her body and went to the next world, after only a few days of illness. At this, Prabhupada lost his faith in worldly life. Worldly life for him began to feel like a prison of misery. Here there is nothing called happiness, only the essence of misery. Becoming deluded by the illusion of this false worldly life a human being neglectully loses such a rare human birth. Seeing the impermanence of this kind of worldly existence his mind became even more indifferent towards it. However that may be, now his major worry was: who will take care of this nursing child? His neighbors and friends all encouraged Prabhupada to marry a second time. He made it known that he was deeply against that proposal. Even so his childhood friend Yaminī Kumara Banerjee Mahasaya encouraged him with special vigor. He said: "Goswami, if you do not marry now who will take care of this poor motherless child? Besides that, you yourself are still young. If there is no wife in the house, who will look after you?" Prabhupada was then twenty-eight years old. He was not at all in agreement with this proposal, but he was especially worried about his child. Then Prab- hupada's own dhāima (wet nurse) said to him: "You do not have to worry about this child. In the same way that I raised you, I will raise this son of yours." When Dhaima said this Prabhupada became free from worry.
Pilgrimage to Holy Sites
.With appearance of intense detachment from household life at the loss of his first wife, Prabhupada Tinkadi Gosvamin decided to tour all of India's holy places of pilgrimage. One day, taking with him a bhakta named Janakī Haita from the village of Sagarpur, which is south of Manoharpur, he started out for the northern regions. With Janakī Haita he first went to Haridwar. He visited many of the important places in Haridwar, but he felt no peace of mind. After staying a few days in Haridwar he went to Rishikesh. At Rishikesh, seeing the babbling Ganga flowing from the foothills of the Himalayas, Prabhupada felt some peace. After staying for a few days at Rishikesh they started out for Kedarnath and Badarikashram. At that time travelling to Kedarnath and Badarikashram was not as easy as it is today. One had to travel by foot and so Prabhupada started out on foot.
A deep feeling for the Himalayas, the place of austerities, filled Prabhupada's mind. It was as if some unknown divine being were beckoning him saying: "Come, come. Come home, o child who has forgotten your true nature. Having fallen into the grip of maya for time without beginning, how many agonies you have suffered. Now, come home. Here there is no sadness; here there is enduring peace. Here there is no darkness. Here, illumined by divine beings, there is enduring bliss. Here, there is enduring satisfaction. Don't cast your gaze again behind you at māyā. Coming here you will be filled with bliss." In Prabhupada's hand was his string of beads for reciting the holy names. The holy names were flowing ceaselessly. Crossing peak after peak Prabhupada arrived at Devaprayag.
Seeing the beauty of Devaprayag, Prabhupada was overwhelmed. On one side was the Bhagīrathī and on the other, the stream of the Alakānandā came down and joined it. It was surrounded on all sides by mountain peaks. Prabhupada, after finishing his bathing rites at the point where the Bhagīrathī and the Alakananda joined, sat on a fine rock nearby and repeating the holy names, absorbed in their ceaseless flow, his mind in deep meditation. Suddenly, he was startled by the call of Janakī Haita: "Gonsai! Let's go. Let's start out now."
Again they moved up the path. They travelled along a narrow mountain path, sometimes with their faces turned down and sometimes with their faces turned up. At the end of the day, they spent the night at some tiny mountain village in an abandoned hut. When morning arrived, after finishing their baths, they took again to the path. In this way, viewing the profound natural beauty of the Himalayas, the land of asceticism, they headed on towards Rudraprayag. The path was mostly deserted. From time to time some mountain tribals came along herding flocks of sheep. Sometimes perhaps they met a few saintly mahatmas with matted hair. Or, somewhere on the bank of the Alakananda in a narrow cave they saw some saintly mahatma. Seeing their attachment to worship in the thoroughly solitary reaches of the Himaīlayas, Prabhupaīda's mind became even more detached. How much longer until he too would cut the bonds of this illusory worldly life and in a thorough, whole-hearted way take shelter at the feet of Srī Govinda? This kind of thought made his mind indifferent to worldly existence. In this way, after crossing through many splendid surroundings they arrived at Rudraprayag.
After bathing at the meeting of the Mankakinī and the Alakananda, they stayed for a few days before starting out for Kedarnath. When he started his wandering to the holy places, Prabhupaīda brought some money with him to pay for expenses on the road. With that they travelled along, sometimes eating cooked meals and sometimes just fruit and raw vegetables. Travelling onwards in this way Prabhupada came to Guptakashi. There he visited Baba Bholanath and set out to see Tricukī Narayana. There, the climb was extremely difficult. All the mountain peaks seemed to kiss the sky. In the distance, there was frozen snow on the peaks. Prabhupada tolerated the many troubles and arrived at Tricukī Narayana. After seeing the sacred image of Tricukī Narayana, he went on to visit Kedarnath. There, the climb was even more difficult than before. The path was not level anywhere. It was only climbing and climbing some more. Many other sadhus and pilgrims had also started out on that path to visit Kedarnath. When Prabhupaīda arrived a Kedarnath the sun was just setting. It was very cold and there was frozen snow in all directions. Prabhupada visited the sacred image of Kedarnath and spent the night in a hostel for pilgrims. In his mind, though, he was not satisfied. The next day Prabhupada got up from bed and decided to begin the journey to see Badarikashram. From Kedarnath they first went to Gaurikund and bathed in the hot springs there. Then they went to Son- aprayag and by way of Guptakashi, they started for Badarikashram. In this way after passing through many places they reached Yogimath. After resting there for a couple of days they proceeded on to Vishnuprayag and from there, after overcoming many difficulties, they arrived finally at Badarikashram.
There the beauty of the place was so attactive to the mind. The Alakananda flowed gurgling along in front of the temple. Behind the temple was Mount Nara and in front, Mount Narayana. To the south of Nara was the extremely high, snow-covered Mount Nīlakantha. In the light of the sun the mind-pleasing beauty expanded. Prabhupada after viewing Badrīnarayana took his bath in the hot springs there. After resting for a few days there, they started out to visit the cave of Vyasadeva. In that cave Krsnadvaipayana Vedavyasa wrote the Srīmad Bhūgavata. Prabhupada after visiting the cave of Vyasa went to see Bhīmapula. When the five Pandavas arrived at this place on their journey to heaven they were unable to cross the fast-moving river there. Bhīma created a bridge over it with a massive stone. Therefore, the place's name is Bridge of Bhīma (Bhīma-pula). Prabhupada visited Bhīmapula and returned to Badrīnarayana. Even after visiting all those places Prabhupada did not feel even the most ordinary peace. After this, he decided to return to Haridvara. In this way, after travelling on the path for many long days and passing through many adventures he returned with his friend Janakī Haita to Haridwar.
From Haridwar he began another pilgrimage. From Haridwar he went to visit Kurukshetra, Pushkar and so forth and arrived finally in Ayodhya. From there he visited Kashi, Prayag, Gaya and so forth and then, after a long time away, he returned again to his own home.
Prabhupada had returned after travelling around to the holy sites. Receiving this news, many of his disciples from the surrounding towns and villages came to Manoharpur to escort him to their homes. Prab- hupada, too, spent some days immersed in the joy of sanikīrtana at his disciples' houses. Meanwhile, all of Prabhupaīda's friends began to beg him insistently to marry again. Prabhupaīda was extremely averse to this, but he did not outwardly reveal it. In secret he left his house again desiring this time to visit the holy sites in eastern India.
Prabhupāda first went to the holy place of the goddess, Kāmarūpa Kāmākhyā. After viewing the goddess Kamakhya he started out for Parasurama Kunda. The path was unfamiliar. Prabhupāda proceeded by inquiring again and again.
One day while travelling on the path evening came. It was a forest path and there was no sign anywhere of human habitation. Wearied, exhausted, and hungry Prabhupāda became worried. He continued moving down that dense forest path. Gradually the darkness became even more thick. Prabhupāda now became agitated and began to worry about a way out. Suddenly, it was as if a ray of hope shown down. Someone carrying a latern was coming towards him. The person seeing Prabhupāda in that lonely spot was extremely surprized, and what he said in the language of the villages was something like this: "Traveller, you have lost your way. If you stay here you will find yourself in the belly of a ferocious tiger. Come. I will shown you a place where you came spend the night."
After saying something like this, he guided him a little further along and showed him an ancient temple. He then warned him that he should not go outside in the night. Prabhupāda took a few steps towards the temple and then looked behind him; he was greatly surprised to see that there was no sign of that man. Nevertheless, he decided to spend the night in a room of that broken down temple. Prabhupāda was by then extremely hungry and he helplessly began to do japa on his harināma beads. After a while he heard a jhum-jhum sound outside, like the sound of ankle bells. Prabhupāda's ears perked up and he began to listen carefully to try to determine what that sound belonged to. It sounded to him like the sound of the ankle bells of a woman. Indeed, a woman with some food on a plate entered into Prabhupāda's room. That woman asked Prabhupāda in a village dialect to eat some food. Prabhupāda thought to himself that there must be a human settlement nearby and that she brought the food from there, knowing that there was a guest in the vicinity. He was by then very troubled by hunger. Without giving it any special thought he ate the food. After giving Prabhupāda the food, that woman without saying anything more departed accompanied by the jhum-jhum sound. Some doubt entered Prabhupāda's mind and suddenly after peeking outside, he was astonished to find that there was no trace of that woman. He thought to himself that this was certainly the goddess Kāmākhyā who came and gave him grace-food. Thinking in this way, his chest became soaked with his tears. Then, after experiencing extraordinary tastes while eating the grace-food, he expressed his salutation at her feet again and again and made this request: "O Goddess, you have shown me such grace, Mother. Let me attain bhakti for Krsna and make this human birth of mine fortunate." After honoring [eating with respect] the grace-food, he began chanting the holy names and when he fell asleep he did not know. When he awoke he saw that night was over. The birds in the trees loudly announced the rising of the sun. When he awoke from sleep, he felt himself to be much more healthy and strong than before. In this way, he passed through a series of various visions and adventures and visited many of the holy sites of eastern India.
There was another incident from this period. While Prabhupada was travelling, at some point he came to the home of some great holy man saint. Coming near him Prabhupada was filled with his power. He stayed there a few days and served him. One day the holy man said: "You have served me a great deal. What do you want?" Prabhupada replied: "I want pure bhakti to the lotus feet of the Divine Couple." The holy man said: "I will not be able to give you that. Go to Vrindavana. There, your desired objective will be fulfilled. Still, you have given me so much service. I want to give you a little something in return. Do you want anything else?" Then Prabhupada said: "See, Maharaja. I am from a family of gurus. Receiving gifts as a guru is our custom. Moreover, I do not have that much of an education. Therefore, I don't have any real knowledge of scripture. In order to properly reply to the questions of one's students, knowing the arguments of scripture is necessary. Please give me your grace so that I will be able to understand the deep meanings of scripture." The holy man gave his blessing to Prabhupada and said: "Go. From now on all the arguments of scripture will manifest within you." A little while after that Prabhupada started out for his home.
Prabhupada traveled around to so many holy sites but still did not find even the most ordinary peace. Gradually, his indifference towards household life continued increased. After returning to Manoharpur and spending some time at the houses of his disciples and at Navadvip he departed again on a journey to the holy places of South India. After wandering around to all the holy sites in South India starting with Ramesvaram, Kanyakumarika and so forth he returned once more to his home in Manoharpur.
Second Marriage
Now Prabhupāda focused his mind on spreading the holy name is the towns and villages. He did not like to stay at home. He began to spend more of his days in the sankirtana of the holy names among his disciples moving from one village to another. He did not want to return to his home. Because, when he did return to his home, all of his friends would beg him to get married again. In such a mood he one day became extremely detached and determining that he would never return to his home again, he went to Vrindavana. There he went to the siddhabābā (Manohara Das Baba) at Govindakunda and began to stay there. After staying there for a few days Prabhupada began to be troubled by the experience of the impulse of sexual desire. Siddhababa knew everything. One day he said to Prabhupada: "Goswami, You should return to your home." Prabhupada became extremely sad and said: "Maharaja, I do not want to return to the cycle of māyā again. Please give me shelter and make me successful." Siddhababa replied: "If you say that, Goswami, what good will it do? You have even now some remaining karma to experience. Apart from that, there are many neccessary things that you must achieve. I tell you: return home and marry again. After that, when the time is right Radharani will draw you back. Don't worry. Your desired goal will be achieved." With no other choice Prabhupada stayed another few days and returned back home.
At Prabhupada's return all of the villagers we overjoyed. His friend Yaminī Banerji and many who were older than he now pressed Prabhupada to marry. By the order of Siddhababa and the requests of all the villagers Prabhupada agreed to marry.
On an auspicious day, at an auspicious moment, Prabhupada's second marriage with Sarasvatī Devī, the 12 year old daughter of Asutosa Hada who lived in a village near Manoharpur, was performed. His age then was probably 32 or 33. Everyone thought that this time his mind would become drawn to worldly life. But that did not happen. His indifference to household life remained unflagging like before.
After only three years has passed in his second marriage, his household life sustained another fierce blow. His wet-nurse whom he loved dearly died after an illness of only a few days. At this Prabhupada was deeply affected. Seeing that at every step worldly existence is impermanent, he lost all faith in the happiness of worldly existence. Now he spent more time each day applying his mind to thinking about the Lord. At that time, Prabhupada used to wake up in the third ghatika of the night and sit to do private worship (bhajana) and he would remain seated until eleven in the morning in doing private worship.
In one way, his worship was not accomplished by staying at home. He had to pull the living beings, burned by the three miseries and devoured by mūyī, out of their suffering. In order to free the living beings from their suffering, he had to leave his house specially to spread the holy names from village to village. At that time at whatever house he stayed in he encouraged the unbroken sankīrtana of the holy names. Then, being attracted to Prabhupada's firmness in practice and his discussions of Hari people came in groups and began to receive initiation from him. The number of his disciples began to increase day by day. Whichever house he went to, there many bhaktas would come. As a result, poor householders were not bold enough to invite him to their houses.
One young son of a poor householder, influenced by the power of Prabhupada revealed his enthusiasm to receive initiation from him. Hearing that, that young man's father burst into anger. He scolded his son: "Sure! Into this little shamble of a house he is bringing an elephant. Into this little shamble of a house he is bringing an elephant. He will break it down, pulverize it, and utterly destroy it. What business have we with that sort of guru? In two days, he will empty our house. Our guru should be like us. He will come here and then take out his our flat rice from his house and eat. When he leaves I will be outwitted and give him just two paisa, and he will take it and leave. What business have we with that kind of big guru?" Without any recourse that young man was forced to give up his desire to receive initiation from Prabhupada. With the coming of many disciples, many amazing incidents also occurred.
One time a young brahmana accepted initiation from Prabhupada. At that that brahmana's mother expressed her great dissatisfaction: "Sure! Alas, son! We are brahmanas. That fellow of a lower caste. Therefore, Baba, why have you in the end gone and become a lower caste."
Day after day Prabhupada's influence began to increase. When he went from one disciple's house to another disciple's house, his disciples gathered together into a group and would go along with him performing sañkīrtam of the holy name. At that time although he was indifferent to worldly, household life and his private worship was intense, he was unable to give up the hookah. Prabhupada thought to himself: "This, too, is a chain." Thinking like this he made up his mind to give up smoking. One day a person named Srīdhara, who was specially well-known to him, asked for Prabhupada's hookah. Prabhupada then offerred all of his smoking paraphernalia to Srīdharar and said: "Srīdhara, you should not return these things to me. Take them away. I will never smoke again." Saying this, gave everything over and was freed. After that Prabhupada never smoked again. At that time he was no longer wearin expensive clothes like he was before. He only wore a cotton dhoti and waistcoat (vest).
When he went to the houses of his disciples, he would not stay in anyone's house. Instead, he would build a small hut of leaves, branches, and bamboo in some uninhabited place nearby and do his private worship inside it. When he was doing his private worship, sometimes from outside the hut one would hear him shouting and sometimes hear him weeping. He did not under any condition fail to perform his regular private worship. In the third ghatika of the night he would take his bath, enter his hut, and sit for private worship. Only in the afternoon would he read the bhakti scriptures and in the evening take part in sañkīrtaña of the holy names. Sometimes, during the sankīrtana of the holy names he would dance so wildly and shout so loudly that many seeing him in this unprecedented condition, would become frightened.
At this time Prabhupada, suffering feeling of separation from the Lord, went to Nīlacala. After arriving there, he decided that he would do his private worship in Nīlacala permanently, making up his mind never again to return to his house. Residing there he began to do private worship with resolve, visit the image of Jagannatha and spread the holy names. At that time, many Bauls, becoming enchanted by his hearttouching talks about Hari chose Prabhupada as their guru and were blessed. Six months passed in this way. Meanwhile, back home, Prabhupada's wife, Sarasvatī Devī, was crying and in great distress. Troubled by her tears a fellow who was specially well-known to Prabhupada named Hari Jana from the village of Galageche near to Manoharpur took Sarasvatī Devī with him and went to Nīlacala looking for Prabhupada. There, troubled by the crying of Sarasvatī Devī, Prabhupada returned again to Manoharpur.
If he returned home, though, what would happen? For Prabhupada the household began to feel like a waterless well. He began to spend his days like before in the bliss of sañkīrtana at the houses of his disciples. During that period he became the father of two more daughters. After a spending a few days in this manner Prabhupada's desire arose to leave Manoharpur and live permanently in Navadvīpa. After that, without much delay he went to Navadvīpa along with his family.
In Navadvīpa there was no place for Prabhupada to live. At that time there was a baba, who used to only eat fruit, doing private worship at Navadvīpa's Mampur Ghat (quay). He used have great faith in Prabhupada. The fruit-eating baba conceived a desire to go to Vmdavana for a while to do private worship. Therefore, he handed over his aśrama to Prabhupada and went off to Vmdavana. From then on Prabhupada and his family began to live there. After the fruit-eating baībaī's departure for Vmdavana, Prabhupada took care of his temple.
At that time there was a Goswami living in Telipada who had old sacred images of the divine couple. Their name was Srī Srī Radha-Madhava. After the passing of that Goswami, his wife decided to sell those Radha-Madhava images to some rich Seth from Kolkata, because it was impossible for her to keep up the service of those images. One day the sacred images gave that old Goswami lady a dream order at night, according to which she was to give the sacred images to Prabhupada Tinkadi Goswami. After receiving that dream order, that old Goswami lady came to Prabhupaīda the next morning in a tearful state and telling him the whole story of the dream, made known to him her desire to give over the images she served to Prabhupaīda. Prabhupada in great pleasure accepted her offer and began to consider himself blessed. In time, after establishing the extremely beautiful Srī Srī Radha and Madhava and along with them a sacred image of Srīman Mahaprabhu he considered himself most fortunate. After the establishment the names of the images were changed to Śn Sri Radhavallabha. Since then those images have been served in a very beautiful way in the Śrī Śrī Radhavallabha temple on Navadvīpa's Mampur Ghat Road. Gradually, with the increase in the number of his disciples, the expenses for the service of those images and of Prabhupada were assumed by the disciples. At that time, there was no Nata-mandira [audience hall just before the image room] in front of the temple of Raīdha-vallabha. After the sacred images where established, the disciple-bhaktas joined together, repaired the temple, and constructing a tin roof, built the audience hall.
Even after coming to Navadvīpa, Prabhupada did not stay in populated places. He used to spend his days on the bank of the Ganges under a tree absorbed in private worship. When gradually more and more people came to see him he went to the Babla forest on the other bank of the Ganges and performed private worship for a few days. Not even the least bit of attachment was seen in Prabhupada who was born with detachment. Even though he had a wife, a son, daughters and many disciples, Prabhupada was always free of company. In this period, too, he used to visit Vrindavana from time to time, spend a few days there and then return to Navadvīpa.
At this time, Prabhupada became particularly close to Ramadasa Babajī Maharaja. Babajī used to look upon Prabhupada with special faith. Seeing Prabhupaīda he would show extreme humility. Prabhupada was very embarrassed by this. In later times, Prabhupada expressed his sadness in this way: "Even though I tried many times, I was not able to give my prostrated obeisances to Babajī first. I tried very hard, but whenever I would go to prostrate before him, I found that he was already prostrated before me." Babajī Maharaja's humility and example were particularly powerful influences on Prabhupada's mind.
Navadvīipa Prabhupaīda passed his days in discussions of Hari and in sankīrtana. He engaged is son through his first wife, Vrindavana [Candra] Goswami, in the study of Sanskrit. At that time Prabhupada visited Manoharpur from time to time. Once, in Manoharpur, he established the performance of a four-month-long great sacrifice (mahayajña) consisting of the uninterrupted singing of the holy names. A little while after that, Prabhupada desired to establish a Navakunja (Nine kuñjas or bowers or garden houses) and have the uninterrupted great sacrifice of the holy names performed in them. This would mean establishing nine garden or bower houses in nine places and carrying out the simultaneous, uninterrupted singing of the holy names in each of those nine houses. Prabhupada was worried because he thought this would be very expensive. When the bhaktas came to know of Prabhupada's desire they decided conjointely to meet the costs of that performance of the nine bowers. In not too long the unterrupted great offering of the holy names in the nine bower houses began. Many people began to come to Manoharpur from the surrounding towns and villages to see this unprecedented sacrificial performance. Some of the villagers began to assist the performance of the yajna by bringing rice, dal, and vegetables according to their ability. It was as if a market place of love (prema) had opened in Manoharpur. Seeing this amazing yajña performance everyone was astounded. As the news spread from village to village many people came everyday day from farther and farther places to float on this tide of the love of the holy name.
After this sacrificial performance had gone on in this way for many days, a day for its cessation was determined. The images of Srī Srī Gaura and Balarama's were decorated and a litter was beautifully adorned to carry them out on procession. In the āśram at Manoharpur there was a forest of people that day. Prabhupada asked one bhakta to supply lots of sweets and black pepper molasses. And, since the parade would last for four or five hours, he also asked him to have Sarbat made and brought as well, in case people became thirsty. Then the procession began. A large sankīrtana party was formed with drums, hand cymbols, and gongs and the sounds of sankīrtana filled the air and lead the way. After that came the sacred images of Srī Srī Gaura and Balarama on the decorated litter and countless people followed them overwhelmed by love. One felt as if it was truly Nitai and Gaura leading and followed by bhaktas who were fascinated by them. In the minds of all those who saw that beautiful procession the image of the Moon of Nadiya, Srī Gaurasundara of a few hundred years before was awakened. It was truly as if Gaurasundara was moving along in the bliss of sankīrtana followed by the residents of Nadiya who were fascinated by him. The sounds of that sankīrtana travelled very far and infused the minds of the people with deep emotions.
Back at the āśram huge preparations for the big celebration were underway. Thousands of bhaktas would receive grace-food (prasada). The cooks were working tirelessly. The sankīrtana party, after performing sankīrtana throughout the town returned around 2 o'clock with the images of Gaura and Balaraīma. Along with them came countless people enchanted by divine love. Prabhupada gave the order to Bhagavata Dada (one the special recipients of his grace) to begin kīrtana. Bhagavata Dada began an especially enchanting kīrtana: "Gaura came home; my Nitai came home. Sacīmata came running and took Gaura on her lap." [gaura elo ghare amar nitai do ghare; dheye giye sacīmata gaura nilo kole.]He sang this song. Dancing and performing this kīrtana, Bhagavata Dada drenched everyone in Gaura's love. After performing kīrtana in this way for an hour, the end of the festival was announced. Everyone was exhausted from the procession. Meanwhile, the cooking for the celebration was almost done. After the food had been offered to the sacred images, the meal began. There was no need of invitation. As soon as one sat, grace-food was served. Hundreds and hundreds people after satisfying themselves with grace-food, departed for their homes and again hundreds and hundreds of more people sat to have grace-food. Where so many people came, who can say? The distribution of grace-food continued on ceaselessly. The sun was about to set. Meanwhile, the grace- food was also almost exhausted, but even then the number of people coming for grace-food did not diminish. The servers became specially worried. What to do now? At just that moment the sky became covered with clouds and darkness spread in all directions. In a short while a torrential downpour of rain started. The rain would not stop. After raining in this way for more than an hour, nature became peaceful. The arrival of people also stopped. Everyone was fully satisfied by the remaining grace-food.
Prabhupada's mind, however, in any circumstances kept returning to the holy abode of Vridavana. He began to wonder how long it would be before he became free from the bondage of impermanent worldly existence, made up of maya, and with his body, mind and words would find shelter at the lotus-feet of the young couple [Radha and Krsna]. In time, he arranged the marriage of his son Vridavana Goswami. And after offering his first daughter in marriage into the hands of Anil Kumar Banerjee, the son of his childhood friend Jamini Kumar Banerjee, he became for the most part free of worry. Now thinking of a way to leave home, he one day expressed his feelings to his wife Sarasvatī Devī: "Look, worldly life is impermanent and without real happiness. For so long we have practiced this householding way of life. Have we attained the highest goal by it? Among all the different kinds of duties human beings have to perform the most important duty is worship of God. Having attained such a rare human birth, if one does not worship the Lord then birth as an animal would have been better. If enjoying pleasure is the primary objective of life then what is the point of having a human birth? In an animal birth one can enjoy the pleasures as much as one wishes. Therefore, I don't think we should delay any longer. You are my partner in religion, my helper in reaching the supreme goal. Help me now. Give me your permission. I want to go to Vrindavana. Engaging this stool, urine, and worm-infested body for the sake of the youthful couple, I will spend what remains of my life. Don't feel any kind of sadness. I have left behind countless progeny to look after you. They will take care of you." At Prabhupada's distressed entreaty Sarasvatī Devī with tearful eyes made know her agreement and thus indeed became his helper for the highest goal. After that Prabhupada indeed, without telling anyone tore asunder the netting of the māyā of worldly existence and started out for the holy land of Vmdavana. Prabhupada then left one unmarried daughter behind.
Intence practice in Vrindavana
Now Prabhupāda Tinkadi Goswami being forever freed from his bonds to worldly existence (i.e., household life), his mind distressed because of separation from the divine couple, went to Siddha Manohar Das Baba of Govindakunda at Govardhana. With torn clothes, soiled face, and eyes full of tears he began to roll on the ground at Siddha Baba's feet. Siddha Baba laughing said: "Hey Gosai! What desire is in your mind?" Prabhupada, drenching his chest with his tears, replied: "Maharaja, please don't tell me to return home again. This time show me your grace and finding me a place at your feet, make me fulfilled." Siddha Baba feeling amazed said: "What is this, Gosai? You are of the family of Acaryas. Living beings bound to worldly existence are fulfilled by taking shelter at your feet. Such talk from your lips does not become you. Rise up. Become calm and rest now without worry." In this way Prabhupada stayed with Siddha Baba for some time and receiving from him many instructions on the secret worship of Vraja, he felt himself fulfilled. His initiation mantra he had received from his father Harimohan Goswami.
Then Prabhupada's mind became anxious to do private worship in an exclusive way. He went to some deserted forest within the circle of Vraja and with his body, mind and words became fully engaged in exclusive private worship. But time and again the thought came to him: "I have left behind worldly life, but I have not changed my worldly garb (veśa). Therefore, before everything else I have to change this garb." Thinking in this way Prabhupada one day expressed this wish to change his garb to Siddha Bābā. Siddha Baba became troubled at this request and replied: "Look, Gosai. You are of the family of Acaryas. How can I give you the [renunciant's] habit and become your guru? This will not happen through me. Besides that, what need is there for you to change your garb?" Prabhupada was unable to be satisfied with this statement of Siddha Baba. After this, he went to many of the highest- level Mahatmas of Vraja and requested them to change his garb. But no one was willing to give him the change of garb rite and become his guru. Then Prabhupada decided to change his garb himself. One day he he took one of Siddha Baba's rope loin-clothes and making the Lord his witness changed his garb [into that of a Vaisnava renunciant, i.e. a bāba]. Along with that he took up a water pot and a staff. He made a vow that as long as he remained alive he would not touch money and not see the face of his wife again. It goes without saying that as long as he lived he fully kept his vow. After this, Prabhupada begging permission from Siddha Baba went forth to do private worship in some deserted place.
When Prabhupada came to Vrindavana he brought a servant with him. His name was Sibu Adhikarī. Prabhupada was living along with him on the bank of Radhakunda. Suddenly, after a sickness of only a few days, Sibu Adhikarī left his mortal body and went to the next world. Receiving news of his death, he son Nitai Adhikarī came from his home to Radhakunda. After staying with Prabhupada for a few days he decided that he, too, would not return to his home and instead he became engaged in Prabhupada's service. A few days after that Prabhupada went to Kesīghata with Nitai Adhikarī. After staying there for some time, Nitai Adhikarī also fell sick and departed for the next world. When Nitai Adhikarī passed away Prabhupada became rather worried. A few days after that a youth by the name of Ayodhya Das became engaged in Prabhupada's service. This Ayodhya Das' service was truly inspiring. Prabhupaīda was very pleased by his whole-hearted service.
Prabhupada now taking Ayodhya Das with him went to various deserted forests in the circle of Vraja and began to do intense private worship. Sometimes under a tree and sometimes in a lonely and abandoned hut (kutirā) Prabhupada did private worship. At that time Prabhupada had no āśram in Vraja. He used to observe rules of private worship in a most unbending way. At one o'clock in the morning he would sit for private worship and after that at around four o'clock he would go out to take his bath and so forth. After that he would again sit in his appointed seat and practice private worship the whole rest of the day in a state of silence (mauna). Then at sunset he would get up. Ayodhyā Das, after going to beg for alms in the nearby villages, would take care of Prabhupada's service. Unpopulated forest settings were especially dear to Prabhupada. As his habitual dress he only used to wear a burlap loin cloth and over his body a burlap shawl or wrap. In this way, sometimes at Prema-sarovara, sometimes at Barsana, sometimes at Pavana-sarovara, sometimes at Kamyavana, or Adibadrī, or Rasaulī, or Camelīvana, or Tapovana, or Akrura Ghata, or Pani Ghata, or at Durvasa-kunda, he passed his time in the bliss of private worship. He did not stay at one place for a long time. When the arrival of people to visit him increased, then, without saying a word to anyone he would go somewhere else. Since of all the places in the circle of Vraja where Prabhupada did private worship Radhakunda was the place most dear to him, from time to time he would stay for a while on the bank of the blessed pond and then again head out to some deserted forest. Prabhupada was fearless. Even while staying in many dangerous places he remained absorbed with a peaceful mind in the thought of the young couple [Radha and Krsna]. Not ghosts, nor ghouls, nor tigers, nor snakes, nor any other livng creatures were able to infuse fear into him.
Once at Premasarovara Prabhupada was absorbed in private worship. When he was unable to complete the number of holy names he wanted to, he was deeply distressed. His longing for the young couple began to increase more and more. He made a solemn vow to perform even more intense private worship. Let there be practice of the mantra as long as the body does not fall away. His desire was that he would take his bath at two in the morning and then in one sitting perform his private worship. But since there is the regulation of taking one's bath during the muhurta of Brahman, one has to wait until then to complete one's bath and other rites. One day after being absorbed in private worship late into the night, Prabhupaīda was overcome by drowsiness for a little while. Suddenly, he was startled by someone's shout. He could hear that it was as if someone was shouting: "Hey, get up! Take your bath and then sit for worship!" When Prabhupada did not find anyone even though he searched all around he became astonished. The next day again there was that same kind of shout: "Hey, get up! Take your bath and then sit for worship." Again though Prabhupaīda searched around a great deal, he was not able to find anyone. He then thought to himself that it certainly must be Mahaprabhu's order. Thinking in this way, from that day on he took his bath at two o'clock in the morning and then sat for his private worship.
Since his mind even then had not reached a state of steadiness, Prabhupada felt great sadness. Even with many great efforts he was not able to be fulfilled. In this kind of condition, one night in the third hour he was seated on his seat. Suddenly, Prabhupada saw a tall Vaisnava standing before him with a well-shaped body, a shining golden complexion, a shaven head, a top knot, and tilak on his forehead. Prabhupada lowered himself to the ground and offering obeisances to him, asked who he was. He replied: "I am Vallabhacarya. I am pleased with your attachment to private worship. I will give you a mantra. If you repeat this mantra your mental operations will quickly become peaceful and your mind will become steady." Saying this he gave Prabhupada a mantra and disappeared. Prabhupada repeated that mantra and in a short while attained an unprecedented result. His mental operations gradually became peaceful and became identified with the thought of the Lord.
In that condition, another night in the third hour Prabhupada was seated on his private worship seat (asana). At that time he saw that a Vais. n. ava like the one before with a shining golden complexion was standing before him. In his hands was a string of tulasī beads. Prabhupada bowed down like a stick before him and asked who he was. He said: "I am Vitthal Nath. I wish to place this garland around your neck." Prabhupada became worried. He anxiously saw that if he took the neck beads from Vitthal Nathjī, the son of Vallabhacarya, he would be changing his Vaisnava community [from the Caitanyite to the Vallab-hite community]. Fearing this, Prabhupada in a very humble manner said: "Master! I have neck beads. Please give me your blessing instead that I may attain pure bhakti to the lotus feet of the young couple." After this Vitthal Nathjī with a pleased expression gave his blessing to Prabhupada and disappeared.
After that Prabhupada's private worship sharply increased in intensity. Through his absorption in private worship consciousness of his own body gradually decreased. While performing this extremely intense private worship in this way a long time, one day his heart and exterior became illumined with the light of consciousness. Prabhupada opened his eyes and saw standing before him Srīmatī Radharam, the embodiment of the pleasure-giving power, radiating the light of a million moons, smiling in her form as the bestower of great fearlessness. At the very sight alone it was as if every one of the molecules and atoms of Prabhupāda's body was drenched in a shower of invisible love-nectar (premamrta). Even though he gazed upon her without blinking he was not able to be satisfied. He began to think that if he had unlimited eyes it would help him a little to relish the sweetness of her beauty. Priyajī, the beloved of Krsna, said: "Your wish has been fulfilled. Still, even now there will be much for you to accomplish. In proper time you will meet me again." Saying this Priyajī disappeared. And Prabhupada fell unconscious at her disappearance. When his consciousness returned he began to think: "Have I seen a dream? No! Even now my molecules and atoms are being bathed in a shower of consciousness-nectar from seeing Priyajī. Alas! When will I again attain such a vision of Priyajī?" Saying this he began to cry with a troubled heart. In this way he began to pass his days in an extraordinary condition of deep absorption. (Since Prabhupada had a close friendship with the scholar of Govardhana's Caklesvara, Priyacarana Das Babajī Maharaja, one day when the two of them were enjoying Istagosthī [Discussions about Radha and Krsna] Prabhupada revealed the account of his vision of Priyajī to Babajī Maharaja.)
One day Prabhupada's devoted attendant Ayodhya Das suddenly became ill with colera. He was seen by a few nearby doctors, but there was no good result. Gradually, his condition worsened. At that time there were a few other bhaktas staying with Prabhupada. Prabhupada asked one of those bhaktas to bring a new cloth. In a short while the new cloth was brought. Prabhupada himself put a loincloth on Ayodhya Das and changed his habit [i.e. gave him initiation into the renunciant order]. In his ear he began to repeat the name of Krsna. In this way while hearing the name of Krsna the devoted servant of Prabhupada, Ayodhya Das, left his perishable body and departed for eternal sport. Prabhupada was deeply pained by Ayodhya Das's passing and began to worry about the well-being of his inner self (atman). He went to Govardhana and for the benefit of Ayodhya Dasa organized a seven-day reading of the Bhagavata Purām. But he was not satisfied even with that. He had served him for so many days and in such a devoted way, what was his state? Prabhupada began to worry about this. Prabhupada was then staying at the place where Rupa Gosvamin performed his private worship, Teri Kadamba. One day while he was worrying about what the outcome had been for Ayodhya Das he became drowsy. Suddenly, he heard Priyajī saying: "Hey! Why are you destroying your private worship by worrying about him? He has become engaged in my service even before you." Prabhupada then became free of worry.
Prabhupāda spontaneously used to praise this Ayodhya Das. He used to say: "His renunciation, detachment and devotion to service were beyond comprehension. Such service no longer exists. Ayodhya had some sort of spiritual power. It was as if somehow he was able to read one's mind. I thought to myself 'I will go get cleaned up,' and before saying a word I would find that Ayodhya arrived with my waterpot filled with water. Sometimes perhaps my body was not well and I had a desire to eat another kind of food. I would see that before I said anything Ayodhya would have brought the very thing I had been thinking about. How many times did I scold him, almost to the point of striking him, and yet I never saw his face become dejected." Whatever the case may be, after the death of Ayodhya Das Prabhupada's service was somewhat impaired. A little while later, a bhakta named Gopīdas took up his service. After that Prabhupada, taking Gopīdas with him, wandered around the circle of Vraja in the bliss of divine love (prema) and began to taste the rapturous flavors of the divine sports (lila-rasa).
In the meanwhile, Prabhupada had to return once to Manoharpur for the marriage of his youngest daughter. It goes without saying that after Prabhupaīda had put on the loincloth he never again saw the face of his wife. When Prabhupada went to Manoharpur, his wife Sarasvatī Devī had to stay somewhere else. This rule used to be followed even from before. Whatever the case may be, at the auspicious return of Prabhupada to Manoharpur there was excitement in all the nearby towns and villages. Manoharpur was again flooded with the sankīrtana of the holy names. After staying there a few days and planting the seed of thought of Krsna in everyone, Prabhupada returned to Navadvīpa.
At the news of Prabhupada's auspicious return to Navadvīpa, waves of joy began to play among his disciples. Hundreds and hundreds of his disciples came to visit him; they began to gather into crowds. When Prabhupaīda expressed a desire to stay on the bank of the Ganges his bhaktas built a bamboo and wicker hut on the bank of the Ganges for him to stay in. In great bliss he began to reside on that golden bank of the Ganges. At the auspicious arrival of Prabhupada, a continous great sacrifice (mahā-yajna) of the holy names started there. Along with that there was recitation of the Bhagavata, songs about the divine sports and so forth. At the time countless people chose him as their guru and were gratified. In this way, Prabhupada stayed for some time in Navadvīpa amidst a surge of love for the holy names and then returned to Vrindavana.
After arriving in Vrndavana, Prabhupāda wandered around to various locations of the divine sports and then went to Radhakunda. At that time, a bhakta from Prabhupada's home region came to him. He, too, decided that he would not return again to his home and was engaged in Prabhupada's service. After that Prabhupada had Gopīdasa give him the change of habit rite [and he became a renunciant]. He was named Sītanatha Das. A little while after that, Gopīdasa left his mortal body and went to the next world. After Gopīdasa departed, Sītanatha Dasa became engaged in Prabhupada's service. After that, gradually more and more servant-bhaktas began to stay with Prabhupada.
After this Prabhupada became engaged in the work of spreading the faith. With a group of bhaktas he began to spread the holy names from village to village in the circle of Vraja. In each village Prabhupada used to put on seven-day recitations of the Bhagavata and sankīrtan of the holy names. Along with that, celebration treasurers used to be employed. Whatever village Prabhupada used to visit, Vrajavasīs would come each day out of a desire to see him. The ladies of Vraja, gathering together in groups, used to come to see him singing songs the whole while. Since, at that time, too, Prabhupada used to practice a vow of silence all day long, the Vrajavasīs started to call him Maunī Baba (Silent Father). When he went to a village he did not stay in the middle of the village. Instead he stayed in some isolated place nearby. Prabhupaīda used to sit the whole day under some isolated tree and do his private worship and his servants stayed in a nearby hut. Prabhupada's rule was that at three o'clock in the morning everyone, after removing their dirty clothes and performing their bathing and cleaning rites, had to take part in kīrtana. If anyone did other than this, he had to go somewhere else. Whatever rice, flour, and vegetables the villagers used to give, that was used to serve guests and Vrajavadīs. His own servant-bhaktas would subsist by begging for alms (madhukarī) from local villages. Everyday in the evening everyone also had to participate in the performance of kīrtana.
Once Prabhupada was staying at Kesī Ghat. Suddenly he had a desire to do private worship in Bhandira Forest on the other side of the Yamuna. Then the rainy season had just ended. Everyone said that if one went to Bhandira Forest, it would not be good, because even then everything would still be wet from the high waters of the rainy season. After a few days, going there would be fine. Prabhupada, not listening to anyone's advice, started out for Bhandira Forest. With him went one servant. After arriving in Bhandira Forest Prabhupada began to stay in an abandoned hut. Since the floor was soaked his servant gathered some dry straw and spread it out on the floor. The hut's walls were not dry either and there was a musty odor. Prabhupada started to reside there in the bliss of divine love. One day at two in the morning Prabhupada sat down for private worship. The servant was singing songs about the sports of the young couple at the end of the night. Suddenly, hearing Prabhupada's voice the servant came to him quickly and saw that Prabhupada was shaking. When he suddenly began to collaspe to the ground the servant quickly caught hold of him. As he was watching Prabhupada went unconcsious. The servant became extremely unsettled and started to think of what to do.
Before sunrise the news was given to a Vrajavasī to whom Prabhupada had shown his grace at Kesī Ghat. That Vrajavasī without any delay went to Bhandir Forest and was ready to take Prabhupada to his own house. In the meantime Prabhupada had returned to consciousness, but he was unable to speak. Since he was also unable to stand, three or four people together lifted him into a tanga (a two-wheeled, horse drawn carriage). It was discovered that the left side of his body was paralyzed. Receiving the news that Prabhupada was paralyzed many bhaktas came to Vrindavana from Bengal wishing to see him. He was shown to some very good doctors and his treatment was started. In this condition Prabhupada stayed at Kesī Ghat and though some recovery occurred he was not able to move well. After that, at Prabhupada's wish he was taken from there to Radhakunda. Even then he was not able to do anything with his left arm and he was not able to speak clearly. In the meantime, at Prabhupada's wish two aSramas were acquired, one in Radhakunda and one in Govardhana. Though Prabhupada underwent treatment for a long time at the aSrama in Radhakunda and became more or less well, he never again reached full recovery. After that time he always used a staff and moved on foot very slowly.
Many days had passed since Prabhupada had come from Navadvīpa to Vrindavana. At the request of the residents of Navadvīpa Prabhupada expressed a desire to visit Navadvīpa again. He had attained the highest treasure of human life. Now he was anxious to distribute that priceless treasure and to drive away the sufferings of living beings scorched by the three fires. On the appointed day Prabhupada started out for Navadvīpa along with some of his disciple-servants
Prabhupāda arrived in Navadvīpa on schedule. Countless residents of Navadvīpa came out to welcome him at the Navadvīpa station. When Prabhupada got off the train he was garlanded with a flower garland and as safikīrtana of the holy names filled the air he was taken to the Srī Srī Radhavallabha Temple on Manipur Ghat Road. This time, too, by Prabhupada's wish a hut was constructed on the bank of the Ganges for him to stay in. In front of the hut that he stayed in, in excellent spot, a huge canvas awning was put up. At the news of Prabhupada's auspicious visit to Navadvīpa many of his disciples came from various parts of Bengal to see him. As a result of that, more and more people gradually began to arrive. Arrangements were made for hundreds of people to receive grace-food (prasūda) everyday. If one sat down, one received grace-food. There was no waiting for an invitation. Then, too, Prabhupada used to practice his vow of silence during the day. In the evenings he would speak. In the afternoons readings of the Bhagavata were arranged. Many readers were eager to present their readings before Prabhupaīda. Therefore, specific times were assigned for everyone's readings. Many, not getting a chance to read, expressed their disappointment to Prabhupada. At night there were kīrtans of the Padavalī.7 The famous kīrtana singers of Bengal came and sang kīrtans for Prabhupada. All day long, like the current of a river, people came and went. To make a few paisa at this opportune time, on both sides of the road Pan shops, snack shops, roasted cashew shops and such sprang up. In these surroundings on Gaura's bank of the Ganges, Prabhupada in the bliss of divine love increased the joy of the bhaktas.
At this time, one of Prabhupada special recipients of grace, a bhakta named Subal Maiti, had a dream one day in which Prabhupada told him: "Subal, I have come to Navadvīpa. Quickly come here." Subal Maiti, too, had been thinking of a way to sever his ties to worldly life made of maya. He did not waste any more time starting out for Navadvīpa. As soon as he arrived in Navadvīpa Prabhupada said: " Who? Subal? Good! I have been thinking about you." Prabhupada became pensive for a little while and then said with a sweet smile: "That face has not worked. Turn your face around!" Subal Dada was startled by Prabhupa- da's words. After this, he firmly made up his mind that he would not again return to worldly life. A few days after this at Prabhupaīda's order he changed his garb and became engaged in Prabhupada's service.
Many people used to come to ask all kinds of questions of Prabhupada. But since he spent his whole day practicing a vow of silence no one used to ask him anything during the daytime. When the daytime was over he used to break his silence and speak with everyone. Prab- hupada used to answer all kinds of questions using very beautiful expressions. With many kinds of scriptural arguments he would teach that worldly existence is impermanent and that for living beings the worship of Hari was the most important thing to be performed.
One night, it would have been around eleven o'clock. Prabhupada was walking slowly on the Gaura's bank of Ganges. With him was one Prabhupada's recipients of grace, Narayana Visvasa, and a few other bhaktas. In the moonlight there was a softness everywhere. The Ganges, river of the gods, was flowing with a gurgling sound. A soft, slow breeze was blowing. Along with that there was an unprecedented sweetness in everyone's hearts because of Prabhupada's sweet closeness. Everything became quiet. Suddenly, Prabhupada said: "Well, Narayana, what beautiful moonlight! Is it not?" Narayana Visvasa with an exultant heart said: "Yes, Baba." Then Prabhupada said: "See, what a beautiful breeze is blowing. Is it not?" Everyone replied: "Yes, Baba."
"How do you like it?"
"We like it very well."
"Well, Narayana. Have you bathed in the Ganges?"
"Yes, Baba."
"How was it? Tell me."
"Baba, taking into acount all the places I bathe, the kind of peace I feel when I bathe in the Ganges, I don't feel anywhere else."
Prabhupada seemed to become very pensive. A few moments later Prabhupada broke the silence of the night and said: "Okay, Narayana, do you have electricity at your house?"
"Yes, Baba."
"A fan?"
"Yes, Baba."
"Okay. For the lights that you burn and the fans that you run you don't have to pay some tax?"
"Baba, one has to pay tax. Without tax how would we have such facilities."
Prabhupāda became very thoughtful and then said: "Now tell me, Nārāyana. Bhagavan is providing this free air—which if it were stopped even for a short time human beings would lose their lives. He is giving the light of the sun and he is giving the lovely sweet light of the moon. If all these lights were stopped the whole earth would be in darkness. The beautiful water of the Ganges and the water beneath the soil; if this water were not there no living being would be able to remain alive. Bhagavan provides all these things for us our whole lives and for that Bhagavan there is nothings we should do? Look, Narayana, aren't grateful? Bhagavan is providing for us in such a beautiful way and we can't find even the little bit of time needed to think about him? There is no mention of having to give him anything. One doesn't have to give him anything; he doesn't want anything in exchange. He has only mentioned saying his name with our lips. I will do all the work of mundane life, only I need to say his name with my mouth and just see how unfaithful we are, how ungrateful: without any great effort we are to say his name with our mouths and that little bit we cannot do. Nevertheless, see how compassionate Bhagavan is. Even if you don't give him anything and even if you do not accept him he does not deprive you of his grace. Who else is so merciful? Those who I think love me in this worldly existence, they, too, love me for some self-interest. Those for whose happiness we are wasting through neglect this rare human birth, they all love out of self-interest. See how Bhagavan is exactly the opposite of that. I don't love him; nevertheless see how much effort he makes to support us. Even before we are born he places milk in the breasts of our mothers so that we may survive. But we can't even spare the little bit of time it takes to say his love-rich name. And those for whose happiness we would give up our very lives, they waste our present lives and in the after life set us on the path to becoming guests in hell. And for the one who desires nothing at all, who only goes on giving, who even if we do not love him loves us, we will not even think about such a loving person as him for a little while. So ungrateful!" Prabhupada's words made a deep impression on everyone's minds. With extremely beautiful turns of speech such as this Prabhupada raised everyone's minds to contemplation on Srī Krsna.
During that period so many more bhaktas used to come that everyday was like a festival in the temple. From two o'clock in the day until two o'clock at night bhakas used to receive grace-food. Prabhupada would request all those who came to see him to receive grace-food. By Prabhupada's desire it was never heard that someone did not receive grace-food. Since it was not known when Prabhupāda would send someone to have some grace-food, a little extra was always kept aside. Many times it was seen that after everyone had had grace-food and enough for five or six more people was put aside, Prabhupada would send fifteen or twenty bhaktas to partake of grace-food. Perhaps then too there would not be time enough to cook again. Nevertheless, it was seen that everyone was satisfied with that little bit of grace-food. One day at around four o'clock Rama Devī came with about 30 to 35 people to see Prabhupada. In order to honor Prabhupada's advice they all went to the temple. At the temple there was only enough grace-food kept aside for three or four people and there was not enough time then to cook again. With no other choice, that insuffient grace-food was distributed to everyone and what a wonder! Everyone was fully satisfied with that small amount of grace-food and returned to their homes. This kind of incident was seen many times.
This is another incident from the same time. Seeing so many people coming to visit Prabhupaīda at that time, many bhaktas and non-bhaktas were anxious to come to see Prabhupada also. Some who were full of devotion to God and some who were extremely curious used to come. One day an atheistic young man who was acquainted with a bhakta who was a recipient of Prabhupada's grace made a vow that he would never go visit any holy man and that he would never eat any of that stuff they call grace-food. The person who had been given grace by Prabhupada tried many times to get that young man to visit Prabhupada, but the youth would not agree to visit him through any urging. One day that young man said to Prabhupada's (bhakta): "Look, I don't accept any of that holy man business. I have heard, however, that your gurudeva is a perfected great-soul (siddha mahatma). Therefore, if your gurudeva is able to bring me to see him, I will know that he really is a perfected great being (siddha mahūpurusa).” With no other recourse, that bhakta decided he would never again ask that youth to go see Prabhupaīda and left. As soon as he had departed, that atheistic youth began to feel some kind of strong attraction towards Prabhupada. He began to think again and again: "If I go now, see him and then return, I will know what sort of holy man he is. So many people are going to see him. What could that be about?” He began thinking to himself in this way. Still, he could not muster the courage to go. If any of his friends or relatives saw him they would make fun of him. Maybe they would say: "What's this? Aren't you the one who won't go see any holy man? Why have you come now?” For fear of such comments he was unable to gather up the courage. Nevertheless he was unable to control the intense desire to visit Prabhupāda. With no other recourse, he decided privately that when no one else was there he would go see him. With this idea in mind, right at two o'clock, looking nervously this way and that, he went to Prabhupada's hut. Prabhupada was then observing his vow of silence. By signs he motioned the young man in. As if he were entranced by some mantra the young man entered inside and began looking at Prabhupada. Prabhupada began to smile at him tenderly. Then Prabhupada gave the order for the young man to go a have some grace-food. The young man also, like an extremely well-behaved boy, bowed down to him and went to temple to have some grace-food.
Anyway, Prabhupada stayed several months in Navadvīpa in the midst of many incidents like these. Before he left Navadvīpa arrangements were made for an unprecedented festival there. At that festival grace-food was distributed to thousands and thousands of people. Then, after planting in this way the seed of contemplation on Srī Krsna in countless people in Navadvīpa, Prabhupada went to Nīlacala (Jagannatha Purī). There, too, after infusing grace into many living beings who had been scorched by the three fires, he returned to the holy land of Vrndavana.
When he returned to the holy land of Vrndavana, he began staying at Radhakunda. Gradually, the number of bhaktas increased day by day. Many of the new arrivals among them changed their garb [became re- nunciants] and began staying with Prabhupada. After this, whenever Prabhupada went anywhere he always had ten or twelve renounced babajīs staying with him. Most of the time he used to stay at Radhakunda, the slope of Giriraja, Premasarovara, and Tapovana. From time to time he would visit some of the other sites of divine sport. When the arrival of people began to increase, Prabhupaīda would start out for another place. Where and when he will go most of the time nobody was able to say. Many times it was seen that Prabhupada would just suddenly start out for somewhere. His servant would ask: "Baba! Where are you going?" Prabhupada would mention another place. The servant would perhaps beg for a little time to pack up the supplies and utensils and in response Prabhupada would say: "You pack up. I'm going." Saying something like this he would simply start off. With little other choice, the servant would quickly gather a few necessary things in a bag and hurry off after him.
One day a rascal came to Prabhupāda to get a number for gambling [dice?]. Prabhupada was then observing silence. The fellow, calling out "Baba, Baba," entered into the hut. Prabhupada raised his hand and showed him five fingers to indicate that he should come back in the afternoon after o'clock. The fellow thought that Prabhupada was telling him to use the number five. Very happily he went off and indeed in the game he bet a good amount of money on the number five. He bet and he bet again on the number five. The fellow won a lot of money. After that, with a little bit of a gift, he visited Baba and told him the whole story. Baba heard about it and was speechless. The very next day he picked up his seat and said: "Let's go. Even here there is calamity. We will go somewhere else."
One time Prabhupada was staying at Radhakunda. Meanwhile there was to be a feast for the sixty-four Mahantas at Nityananda Dhama, the ashram that Prabhupada had established in Govardhana. His disciples came to Radhakunda to take him to Govardhana. Prabhupada didn't want to go to Govardhana. Everyone became completely obstinate and fell down at his feet. With no way out, Prabhupada, even though he really didn't want to, went to Govardhana at their request. That night Prabhupada came down with a serious fever, so serious that he nearly became unconscious. In that condition he said: "Radharam has again and again forbid me: 'now don't you leave Radhakunda and go anywhere else.' Not listening to her words I have come to Govardhana. Therefore, I am in this sorry state." Then everyone understood why Prabhupada did not want to leave Radhakunda and go to Govardhana. They all began to feel sorry for their mistake. After that Prabhupada became well again after a few days.
At this time Prabhupada visited the forests as if for the last time. Niyama-seva was not very far off. Prabhupada spent a few days at the side of Giriraja-Govardhana in the bliss of private worship and then for Niyama-seva went to Radhakunda. His bhakta-servants followed Prabhupada there. Receiving word that Prabhupada was staying at Radhakunda many bhakta Vaisnavas from many places in Bengal came to Radhakunda to observe Niyama-seva. The four directions were alive with sankīrtana of the holy names. Circumambulations began and Prabhupada's ashram was buzzing with the arrival of bhaktas. In this way after having been bathed in a shower of the nectar of prema on thee
of Radhakunda for one month, the bhaktas at the end of their Niyama-sevā vows returned to their homes. Prabhupada after staying a few days at Radhaksnda went to Govardhana. He stayed there for the whole cold season. When the fury of the cold became calmed Prabhupada started out for Premasarovara with his bhaktas. There, after increasing the joy of bhaktas and Vrajavasīs alike for more than a month through sankīrtana of the holy names, seven-day readings of the Bhūgavata, and such he went to Kokilavana. After spending a few days there at the request of Vrajavasīs he went to Durvasakunda in Kamavana. After a few days' stay at Durvasakunda Prabhupada began to feel a particular pain in his stomach and at the insistance of his bhaktas he went to Kesīghata in Vrndavana for diagnosis. He stayed there more than a month under treatment and felt somewhat better. After that, at the request of some Vrajavasī bhaktas he went from Vrndavana to the Ramajanakī temple at Aksarabata near Tapovana. After staying there a few days he went on to Tapovana. After spending a few days in the bliss of divine love in Tapovana, in very charming surroundings on the bank of the Yamuna, he returned to Govardhana. After this, Prabhupada's body gradually became more ill and he no longer went wandering from forest to forest. He only stayed at Govardhana, Radhakunda, and Vrndavana after
Prabhupada's Final Days
Prabhupāda at this time desired to go to Nīlācala [Puri], He deputed one of he servants to write a letter to Navadvīpa, In a short while letters were written to Prabhupada's disciples Dr, Susīl Bhaumik in Navadvīpa and Dilīp Kumar Mitra in Calcutta expressing his desire to go to Nīlacala. A few days later at the request of his bhaktas who were living in Vrindavana that he not go to Nīlacala, he chnaged his mind accordingly and ordered his servant to send a telegram to Calcutta and Navadvīpa, His order was duly followed. Meanwhile, as fate would have it the telegram was delayed in arriving and Dr. Bhaumik and Mitra Mahasaya had started out for Vrindavana with the intention of taking Prabhupada to Purī, Back in Vraja, Prabhupada without worry [of travel] had decided to hold a seven-day reading of the Bhagavata to be performed at Srī Srī Radhamurarimohan Kunja in Vrindavana. To attend the seven-day reading of the Bhāgavata, at Prabhupada's invitation, Srī Priyacarana Das Babaji came from Govardhana to Srī Radhamurarimohan Kunja. Two days after the beginning of the reading, Dr. Bhaumik and Mitra Mahasay arrived in Delhi by airplane and after reserving four tickets for travel from Delhi to Purī, they continued to Vrindavana to take Prabhupada to Purī, They had reserved tickets for a plane from Delhi to Bhuvanesvara for the day following the day they arrived in Delhi. Because Prabhupaīda's telegram did not arrive there arose this crisis, Hearing that Prabhupada will not go to Purī they were extremely mortified, After this, because they specially begged Prabhupada to go to Purī, Prabhupada agreed to go to Purī. Meanwhile, the bhaktas who lived in Vmdavana did not want to let Prabhupada go, On one side there was the supplications of the bhaktas who had come from Bengal and on the other side was the heart-felt petitions of the bhaktas who lived in Vrindavana and on top of it all there was the performance of the seven-day reading of the Bhagavata. Prabhupāda became specially anxious. Moreover he began to be drawn powerfully by the misery of the countless human beings scorched by the three heats [miseries] in Nīlacala and Bengal. He knew it was not much longer until he entered eternal sport. Indeed, a few months before this incident while he was staying at Radhakunda, he told a servant that the end of his sport was near. Therefore, perhaps his mind became specially anxious to quell the tears of externally focused livings beings who had been swallowed by the mūyū of ignorance and point out for them the path of genuine light one last time. One imagines that thinking of the well-being of living beings, Prabhupada decided to go to Purī. The next day at daybreak Prabhupada started out for Purī. Priyacarana Dasa Baba was mortified at the news that Prabhupada was going to Purī. But he did not put forward any sort of objection. In the morning, with two servants with him and the bhaktas from Bengal he left Vrindavana for the last time. After this, he was never able to return to the holy abode of Vrindavana while he was manifest.
The taxi taking Prabhupada arrived at Palam Airport at around 10 o'clock. Meanwhile, four tickets had been bought and there were five people. Mitra Mahasaya tried specially hard to get one more ticket. Because the Asian Games were in progress then, getting an extra ticket was difficult. Around that time one of the high office holding employees at the airport came to see Prabhupada. When he saw Prabhupada he was enchanted. By then, Mitra Mahasaya had returned, unable to acquire another ticket. Fortunately, however, an extra ticket was quickly acquired with the help of that employee. When the time for the plane's departure arrived, Prabhupada was boarded and seated with the help of a few people. At the scheduled time the plane taxied for the sky.
The plane arrived at the Bhuvanesvar airport at around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. After that, the bhaktas started towards Purī in a taxi with Prabhupaīda. The news of Prabhupaīda's coming arrived before he did. He arrived in Purī and went to the temple of Tota Gopīnatha to stay. Since the news of his coming had spread, the bhaktas living in Purī began to come to 'Tota Gopīnatha with great enthusiasm. The room at the temple in which Prabhupaīda stayed was not very healthy because little light and air were able to enter it. One day the abbot of the Haridasa Matha, Nitai Dasa Babajī, came to see Prabhupada. Seeing that Prab- hupaīda was staying in a room without sunlight, he invited him to come with him to the Haridasa Matha. Prabhupada accepted with great joy. After this a fine room at the Matha of the tomb of Haridasa, which had lots of exposure to the light and air and lots of room for him to walk about in, was reserved for him. The very next day Prabhupada moved from Tota Gopīnatha to the Haridasa Matha. The abbot of the Haridasa Matha, Nitai Dasa Babajī, was determined with all his heart and soul that Prabhupada should not feel any sort of difficulty or discomfort.
 |
| Tinkadi Baba with bhaktas in Puri, 1982 |
With the coming of many bhaktas to see Prabhupada from various places in Bengal after they received news he was in Purī, Haridasa Matha was floating in waves of bliss. Even before this time, because of cataracts in Prabhupada's eyes, he was not able to see very well. The bhaktas of Nīlacala brought an eye specialist to see him. Since the cataract in one eye was greater, the doctor recommended an operation. On the appointed day the operation was performed by an eye specialist from Bhuvanesvara. Though two months after the operation Prabhupada had more or less recovered, still because of a small mistake in the operation, he did not get his full vision back.
Meanwhile, many bhaktas began to arrive from various places for Prabhupada's birth day. On the day of the celebration, Vaisnavas from all the four religious communities (sampradaya) of Nīlacala were invited. Apart from that, many holy men and residents of Nīlacala were satisfied with grace-food and took their leave. In bliss such as this three months went by. Now it was time to change locations.
After receiving the news of Prabhupada's presence in Nīlacala, a few bhaktas of Navadvīpa came to Nīlacala with the intention of taking him to Navadvīpa. At first Prabhupada did not show any special interest in going to Navadvīpa. But, at the despair-filled pleading of the bhaktas from Navadvīpa he agreed to go to Navadvīpa. The bhaktas reserved a seat for him in an air-conditioned car of the Purī Express. On the appointed day Prabhupada took his leave of the bhaktas of Nīlacala and went to the Purī station. The primary ritual specialist (pūjarī) of the Jagannatha Temple came there and put the silk rope of Jagannatha on Prabhupada on him. At the scheduled time, the train for Kolkatta departed. With tears in their eyes the residents of Nīlacala bid farewell to Prabhupada.
News of Prabhupada's coming to Navadvīpa had been sent previously. After receiving the news, the bhaktas of Navadvīpa were waiting for Prabhupada at the Howrah station. The bhaktas of Kolkatta also came to the Howrah station after hearing the news. When the train arrived at the platform, there was great excitement among them all. When the train stopped Prabhupāda was escorted off the train and seated in a taxi decorated with flower garlands. The Kolkatta bhaktas offered their prostrations to Prabhupada and then attended on him. Then the car departed for Navadvīpa with Prabhupada.
Countless people, having received news of Prabhupada's auspicious coming, were waiting for him with impatient enthusiasm at the Radhavallabha Temple. When Prabhupada arrived in Navadvīpa there was unprecedented excitement in every direction. After so long their own great man had returned to Navadvīpa. Because his body was not well, this time no arrangements were made for Prabhupaīda to stay on the bank of the Ganga. Instead it was arranged for him to stay in a house nearby the Radhavallabha Temple.
With Prabhupada's auspicious arrival, in each neighborhood sankīrtana parties of the holy name were formed. Each sankīrtana party would circumambulate in the morning, performing sankīrtana, and then come to the Radhavallabha Temple. As soon as morning began, one after another, sankīrtana parties filling the air with the names of Hari began to arrive at the Radhavallabha Temple to see Prabhupada. In such a way at that time a hundred morning sankīrtana parties were created. In each party the number of young boys and young men was greater [than all the other age groups]. Also at that time, there were regular readings of the Bhagavata Purana in the afternoons and at night there was singing Vaisnava songs.
Previously Prabhupada did not give initiation to anyone very quickly.
But this time, coming to Navadvīpa, he became different. If someone desired to receive initiation he began to give initiation. As a result, at that time there was a rush to receive initiation and Prabhupada without any difficulty began to give it.
News of Prabhupada's arrival in Navadvīpa even reached Manoharpur. Some bhaktas came to Navadvīpa with special enthusiasm intending to take him to Manoharpur. If Prabhupada goes to Manoharpur, he will never return to Navadvīpa—with this worry the bhaktas of Navadvīpa did not want to let Prabhupada go to Manoharpur. After receiving the promise that after visiting Manoharpur Prabhupada will again return to Navadvīpa, he was decided to go to Manoharpur. On the appointed day Prabhupada started out for Manoharpur with some servants and bhaktas.
Prabhupada's son-in-law, Anil Kumar Bandyopadhyay, lived in Aram-bag in the district of Hugli. He made arrangements on behalf of the residents of Arambag for Prabhupāda to visit there for a little while on his way to Manoharpur. The weekly paper of Arambag had previously announced the news of Prabhupada's coming. Many people gathered there for Prabhupada's auspicious arrival. For Prabhupada's visit a high platform was constucted so that everyone would be able to see him from afar. In honor of his coming sankīrtana of the names of Hari was arranged in advance. Everyone was beside themselves with enthusiasm in expectation of his visit. At that time the car carrying Prabhupada with his bhaktas arrived there. Prabhupada stayed there for two hours before starting out again for Manoharpur.
After receiving the news of Prabhupada's auspicious coming to Manoharpur a sankīrtana party from Manoharpur was waiting for him. In time, the car passed through Ghatal and headed in the direction of Manoharpur.
Seeing that Prabhupada's car was coming the bhaktas of Manoharpur began to perform loudly sankīrtana of the names of Hari. Countless villagers wishing to see him were standing along both sides of the road waiting. The car began to move forward slowly. In order to give everyone a chance to see him the car would stand still for a while and then again move slowly forward. In front was the sankīrtana party; behind it slowly moving was the car with Prabhupada. Gradually it arrived at the Gaura-Balarama Temple in Manoharpur.
At Prabhupada's instruction arrangements were made for his wife, Sarasvatī Devī, to stay at a bhakta's house in Ghatal. After many days Prabhupada had returned to Manoharpur. In less than a hour this news was spread far and wide. Everyday numerous villagers, beside themselves with excitement hoping to see him, came to Manoharpur from many distant places. So that everyone would receive grace-food lavish arrangements were made. Since they came from afar by foot, many bhaktas spent the night in the ashram. When morning came they returned to their own homes. In this way because of the arrival in the ashram of people day and night, it was always full. At night many people stayed in the audience hall. Those who did not find a place in the audience hall laid themselves down under the open sky along with their sons and daughters. At night there was an unprecedent sight—hundreds of people— wives, children, and the old—laying down wherever they could find a place and going to sleep where they were. Near someone's foot was someone's head; beneath them the soil and above the open sky. They were pleased with just having a sight of Prabhupada. In this way, hundreds of people, willing even to accept many discomforts, came to see Prabhupada. As long as Prabhupada was in Manoharpur the ashram was always full because of the ceaseless arrival of people.
As long as Prabhupada stayed at Manoharpur, it was as if a Rajasūya were being performed in the ashram. Many poor villagers used to come right at the time to receive grace-food and after receiving it in the joy of love would depart. If one sat down, one received grace-food. There was no restriction or obstacle at all.
There was an incident during this time. One of Prabhupada's childhood friends came to see him. It was then wintertime. Since there had been no rain the farmers' worries had no limits. Because of lack of water, it was not possible to plant the crops. The proper time for planting was slipping by. Prabhupada's childhood friend said to him: "Look, Gosani! Haven't I heard that you are a great accomplished [perfected] soul? So give us a sample once of your accomplishment. In the next two days, if rain comes then I will know that you really are an accomplished being. And if rain does not come, Gosani, I will not believe anything people say about you. I will grab a hold of you and throw you into the pond." Prabhupada, after hearing his words, began to laugh softly. It was then noted: the very next day it rained down mallets and clubs. The farmers' anxiety was ended. The earth, too, warmed by the rays of the sun and bathed by the rain showers, blossomed.
In Manoharpur, too, Prabhupada gave initiation without discrimination. It was as if the door of his compassion had been flung open. The time arrived for him to say goodbye to Manoharpur. Bhaktas came from Navadvīpa to take Prabhupada back. The bhaktas of Manoharpur, shedding tears again and again, bid him farewell. Prabhupada, with his bhaktas and servants, started out for Navadvīpa again.
Prabhupada indeed returned to Navadvīpa, but he was not like he was before. He began to always keep absorbed inside himself. He nearly completely gave up eating. This time Prabhupada became very nearly like a child. With much explaining perhaps he would eat a little food and he always would close his eyes. He had no knowledge of what food he was eating. Closing his eyes whatever was before his hand he would put in his his mouth. Perhaps he did not like it. Then he would spit it out wherever he could. At that time only a little curds and apple boiled would be given to Prabhupada. Sometimes perhaps at night in the second prahara he used to say: "I'm hungry." He servant would light a lamp that night give Prabhupada something to eat like milk sweets
Just as much food as a six month old baby would eat, Prabhupada would eat. If one begged him to have more, he would display lack of desire.
Previously one operation on Prabhupada's eye had taken place, but since he could not see well by means of that, at his wish an appointment was made for an operation on the cataract of the other eye. Before the coming of cold weather, on the appointed day, the operation was performed by the famous Indian eye specialist, Dr. I. S. Ray.
After the operation the condition of Prabhupada's body gradually began to worsen. He also gradually became more inward minded. Because of the cold weather Prabhupada began to experience special difficulty with breathing. Some bhaktas started to encourage Prabhupada to go to Purī. On the other hand, the bhaktas of Navadvīpa were not willing to allow him to go anywhere besides Navadvīpa. As a result a difference of opinion appeared between the two sides. Then, Prabhupada expressed a desire to go to Purī again. Dilip Kumar Mitra Mahasaya came with a car from Kolkata to take Prabhupada to Purī. On the designated day, Prabhupaīda, with a group of his servants, started out for the holy abode of Purī once more.
The car sped along towards the Howrah station. A first class ticket had been reserved for Prabhupada on the Purī Express. The Purī Express would depart around seven in the evening. Meanwhile, because of a traffic jam on Kolkata's Central Avenue Prabhupada's car sat for over an hour. The time for the departure of the Purī Express had nearly arrived. The bhaktas became extremely upset. Everyone will be unable to catch the train—this kind of worry arose in them. Then the subject of the greatest worry of all arose—if the train departs without them where will Prabhupada spend the night? Even if he stayed somewhere, Prabhupaīda would be faced with great discomfort because of his unwell body. At that kind of worry everyone became extremely anxious. Mitra Mahasaya then began to console everyone, saying that when Prab- hupaīda was with them no kind of danger would arise.
In the meantime, seeing no possibility of becoming free from the traffic jam the driver of the car turned around and proceeded by some other route for the Howrah station. When the car was near the Howrah bridge it was an hour past the train's scheduled departure time. Everyone was sitting hopelessly, their faces pale and in their minds they began to think of various ways of resolving the problem.
After receiving news of Prabhupada's trip to Nīlacala many bhaktas who lived in Kolkata came to the Howrah station. Seeing that his arrival was delayed the bhaktas were also upset and were waiting for him. As soon as the car carrying Prabhupada entered Howrah station a bhakta raised his hand and stood in front of it. With great jpy he gave the news that the train from Karsed had not arrived at the platform. The train will leave two hours later than the scheduled time. After a great deal of inquiry the reason that the train from Karsed had not arrived at the platform could not be discovered. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
After this, Prabhupada was taken and seated in a wheel chair. The bhaktas put a flower garland on his neck. In bliss many bowed to Prabhupada and returned to their homes. After a little while the train arrived at the platform. Everyone took Prabhupada and got on the train. After a short while the train blow its horn and slowly started out towards Puri.
This time arrangements had been made at Haridasa Matha for Prabhupada's stay. At the news of Prabhupada's coming Haridasa Matha was again like before resonant with the sounds of the arrival of bhaktas . Although this time Prabhupada experienced good health for a few days after his arrival in Nīlacala, after passing those few days he became even more ill than before. He began to be examined by specialists of that place, but his illness gradually began to increase. One day Prabhupada's condition suddenly become extremely serious; he became unconscious. In three days forty-two injections were given. After three days Prabhupada slowly became conscious again. Meanwhile, news of Prabhupada's illness was sent to Navadvīpa by telegram. Though indeed Prabhupaīda became gradually somewhat better, he remained so internally focused that he was not even aware of his body.
There was no string of beads for the holy name in his hand, but Prab- hupada was moving his fingers and doing japa. He was thinking in his mind that there was a string of beads in his hand. A servant would perhaps come to him with grace-food; Prabhupaīda would extend his empty hand and say "Take my mala." That servant would perhaps take hold of his hand and say "Baba, I have taken your beads. Now have some grace-food." Since he was so inwardly turned Prabhupada was not able to eat grace-food properly. With no other choice, his servants used to feed him with their own hands. At that time one could say that he was not really eating. It is doubtful whether in a whole day he ate even fifty grams of curd. From that time on Prabhupada never again held a holy name mala. One day grace-food was brought for Prabhupada. He was moving his empty hand doing japa. His servant said: "Baba, I brought grace-food." Prabhupada with his eyes closed said: "Wait! Let me finish my round".
Even though there was no mūlū in his hand, he thought "I am chanting on a mala." When the mala was complete, the Sumeru or the central bead came; then one can put the mala aside. With this kind of expectation, Prabhupada was waiting for Sumeru. But without a mala where will Sumeru come from? Then a bhakta said: "Baba! You have no mala in your hand." Prabhupada raised his empty hand and said: "Then this that I am doing japa on, what is it?" Everyone began to laugh. Another servant said: "Baba! That is your mind's mala." Prabhupada this time became for a moment externally aware. What Prabhupada was doing at this time was the result of his previous practice. His external memory was practically non-existant.
At night sometimes he would pass urine. After a servant washed his feet Prabhupada would think that dawn had come. He then went to bathe. Now it would be time to meditate on the mantras. Sitting on his bed he would instruct his servant to bring his pancapatra. When the servant brought the pancapatra, Prabhupada would wash his mouth (acamana) and sit to meditate on his mantras. The servant would then say: "Baba! It is now twelve at night. Is this the time to meditate?" Prabhupada would then become a little externally aware. He would say: "Oh! It is, isn't it. Therefore, shall I lie down now?"
One day would have been one in the morning. Prabhupada urinated and when his servant was his feet and dried them he sat on the bed and asked for his pancapatra. His servant said: "Baba! It is now one in the morning. Is now the time to remember mantras?" Prabhupada was then so much more internally focused that the words of his servant did not even enter his ears. He asked for his pancapatra again and again. After that when his servant brought his pancapatra, rinsed his mouth and sat to remember the mantras. Catching hold of the sacrificial thread10 over his shoulder, he thought it was his string of beads for the holy names. He began to do japa with it. When the sacrificial thread became obstructed Prabhupada thought that his beads had gotten twisted. When that happened, he began to get irritated. Then the servant would loosen and move the sacrificial thread over his shoulder. In this way the sacrificial thread became stuck and the servant loosened it again and again. In this way, nearly an hour passed. After that the servant again said: "Baba! It is one in the morning. Is this the time for remembering mantras?" This time his external awareness returned. He said with amazement: "What's that? It's now one in the morning? Then, should I go to bed?"
The servant said reassuringly: "Yes, Baba! Go to bed now."
At that time Prabhupada kept his eyes closed all the time. Some- timtes, while keeping his eyes closed he would say: "I am not able to see anything. Everything is dark." His servant would say: "Baba! Your eyes are closed. How will you see anything? Open your eyes." Prabhupada then trying to open his eyes would say: "Yes, I can see a little bit." Such was internal absorption that he used to stay in.
Meanwhile, receiving news of Prabhupada's illness, bhaktas from Navadvīpa came to Nīlacala. Seeing that Prabhupada's medical treatment was specially problematic they begged to take him back to Navadvīpa. Prabhupada knew that the time of the end of his sport was drawing near, therefore, wishing to leave his destructible body in the holy abode of Srīman Mahaprabhu, he accepted the proposal without any argument.
The bhaktas, too, with great enthusiasm purchased a ticket on the Purī Express with the intention of taking Prabhupada to Navadvīpa.
There are two things worthy of mention that occurred before the day Prabhupada departed for Navadvīpa. One night at about one in the morning, Prabhupada began to talk with one of his servants about his childhood and place of birth. He talked about his childhood days in Manoharpur. The servant listening to those incidents in his childhood life from Prabhupaīda's own lips considered it grace. On top of that beginning from a few days earlier that same servant's left eye began to dance about in a violent way. He then was able to realize that Prab- hupaīda, his highest shelter, was ending his earthly sport.
On the appointed day, Prabhupada started out for the holy abode of Navadvīpa with his bhaktas. The residents of Nīlacala bid him farewell their hearts tormented by pain.
After arriving in Navadvīpa from Nīlacala Prabhupada was more or less well for a few days. But, compared to before, he was much more absorbed in his own inner world. If one were to say that he practically did not speak at all, it would be accurate. At that time, since he was unable to move his legs, he had to be lifted into standing position and then seated. He was also not aware of whether it was day or night. One day at around twelve midnight some bhaktas said: "Baba, it is time to go to bed." In reply Prabhupada said: "Do I ever sleep in the middle of the day?"
In the meantime, because Prabhupada experienced greater difficulty in breathing, arangements were made to give him oxygen. Although because of that he felt some relief, nevertheless his condition began to become more serious. One day a letter arrived from Vmdavana. It was written by Kisorīdasa Baba of Kesighat Thor. He wrote: "Baba, I had a dream one night in which a dark-skinned boy to me said: 'Hey! You sent Gosvamī home in the middle of a seven-reading of the Bhagavata and you did not bring him back. Go, quickly arrange to bring him back to Vmdavana.' I asked him: 'Who are you?' That boy replied: 'I am Murarimohana.' After saying that the boy disappeared. Baba, come immediately to Vmdavana as soon as you read this letter." After hearing the contents of that letter Prabhupada did not speak with anyone again, did not even open his eyes again.
Two days went by in that way. In the afternoon of the third day Prabhupada developed a fever and with that his body began to shiver. He pulse too went from weak to weaker. His blood pressure decreased from around 140 to stay around 80. Dr. Bhaumik Mahasaya informed one of his servants of the serious condition Prabhupada was in. Arrangements were made to give him oxygen at night. After hearing the news, one Prabhupada's disciples, Dr. Balaram Datta of the Katoya Hospital, also came. Dr. Bhaumik spent the night near Prabhupaīda and there was no limit to the worry of the bhaktas.
Daybreak was not far off and Prabhupaīda's servants were one by one completing their morning ablutions. The thought of remembering mantras was not on anyone's mind. That day one bhakta had made arrangements for sadhu-bhandara in the temple, but no one was paying attention to that. Gradually, Prabhupada's heartbeat began to weaken. Receiving the news that Prabhupaīda's condition was critical, Prabhupaīda Srī Jīva Gosvamī from Srīvas Angan came to see him. It was then about 7:00 in the morning. One servant began to repeat the holy names loudly at Prabhupada's feet. Srī Jīva Gosvamī embraced Prabhupada and saying "Jaya Nitai! Jaya Nitai," began to weep. Some other bhaktas started to perform sankīrtana of the holy names in audience hall of the temple. The hour reached 8:30 am. Prabhupada's lips suddenly began to quiver. Uttering "Jaya Nityananda Ram! Jaya Nityananda Ram" in an barely audible voice, he gave up his destructible body and becoming situated in a body of consciousness he started out for the divine, blissful, nonmaterial, eternal sport. In all directions the sounds of wailing arose.
Receiving the news of Prabhupaīda's disappearance, countless people came running from all directions. In a short while the news of his disappearance spread everywhere. Countless people came weeping fromall directions to have sight of him for the last time. In this way viewings and obeisances continued until three in the afternoon. Many bhaktas came to Navadvīpa even from Kolkata after they received the news.
After that it was decided that a palanquin should be brought for a procession through the streets of Navadvīpa with Prabhupada's dead body and after it was decorated in a very beautiful way with flower garlands the procession began. Behind it innumerable people followed singing the holy names. When the procession reached the main road, because of the gathering of some many people, the movement of lorries, buses, rikshaws, and such was stopped. On both sides of the road countless people watched that beautiful procession from their verandas and roofs. If one looked upon it from a high place, no matter how far one could see, the road itself could no longer be seen; only the heads of innumerable people were seen. In this way after processing for three or four hours, the beautiful parade arrived back at the Radhavallabh temple at around seven in the evening.
Prabhupada's son, Vmdavana Gosvamī had at that time gone to the house of one of his disciples. Someone was sent to bring him back. The night before the day on which Prabhupada left his body, Vrindavana Gosvamī had had a dream in which Prabhupada said to him: "Hey! Come home right away." Seeing this kind of dream, Vrindavana Gosvamī became specially disturbed. The very next day the messenger came to him with the news that Prabhupada had disappeared. In a short while he set out and arrived back in Navadvīpa at around twelve midnight.
Meanwhile, how the final rites for Prabhupada's corpse were to be performed was being debated among all the guru-brothers. One party argued that the rites should be performed on the bank of the Ganges. Another party said that no, they should be performed near the temple. After this, in agreement with the opinion of Prabhupada Srī Jīva Gosvamī of Srīvas Angan, it was decided that his final rites should be performed on the bank of the Ganges where Prabhupada previously used to do private worship.
By then it was one o'clock in the morning. The bhaktas carried Prabhupada's corpse to the bank of the Ganges. A pile of wood was prepared. The body of Prabhupada's human sport was washed with Ganges water and new clothes were put on it. Sacred markings were put on the twelve upper limbs and it was laid out on the arrangement of wood. The sounds of mrdanga, cymbols, and the holy names broke the silence of the late night on the bank of the Ganges and spread far into the distance. The bank of the Ganges was a dense forest of people. Slowly Prabhupada's form in his human sport was turned into ashes. One very bright star in India's auspicious spiritual firmament went out. Overwhelmed with sorrow the bhaktas brought water from the Ganges in hundreds and hundreds of pots and silently cooling the cremation ashes, returned to their homes.
Meanwhile the news of Prabhupada's wrapping up his earthly sport reached the holy land of Srī Vrindavana. A dense darkness descended among the bhaktas residing in Vrindavana. Among them one of Prabhupada's Vraja disciples at Premasarovara had a dream at night in which Prabhupada told him: "My time for departure has arrived. I'm going. Don't be sad." The resident of Vraja becoming troubled by the sight of that kind of dream went to Nityananda Dham in Cakalesvar and heard that is was true. Prabhupada had gone to the eternal abode.
Even now one can hear from the lips of Vrajavasīs: "Baba! We have never seen a sadhu like that. A baba indeed was that Tinkadi Baba." Even today as they talk about Baba their throats get choaked up and their eyes fill with tears. They have lost one of their own great ones, Tinkadi Baba.
Prabhupada's Sweet Nature
Various Supernatural Incidents and Traits
A Miraculous Event
At one time Prabhupāda was staying at some place near Kokilavana. Suddenly, he wanted to move to another place. The bhaktas were wondering how he would be able to make such a move. Then at Prabhupada's instruction a bhakta went to a Vrajavasī by the name Jīvanlal Netajī of Baida Baithan. He had a tractor. The bhakta revealed Prabhupada's desire to move to another place and requested him to take Prabhupada there by tractor. At that time all the wheat was ripe and he was threshing the wheat with his tractor. That Vrajavasī thought to himself about it and realized that if he stopped the threshing and took Prabhupada where he wanted to go he would loose about two hundred rupees per day. Thinking in this way he did not agree to the request. With no other choice the bhakta went back to Prabhupada. A little while after the bhakta arrived back, one piece of cloud came and right where that Vrajavasī was threshing his wheat it began raining down like a shower of clubs and everything became soaking wet. That wheat would not be able to be threshed for at least two days. That Vrajavasī searched around and saw that the rain did not fall any where else. Then, thinking that this was the result of his not agreeing to move Prabhupada and with great dispatch he brought his tractor moved Prabhupaīda. That was not all. He offered himself at Prabhupada's feet and became his disciple.
Protecting With His Subtle Body
That same Jīvanlāl of Bada Baithān was travelling along a road one day. Behind him came a tractor. When the tractor got very close to him, as he went to stand off to the side he tripped and fell. Right along with that the first wheel of the tractor rolled over Jīvanlal's waist. Jīvanlal screamed: "Jaya Gurudev!" and lost consciousness. Before the big back wheel of the tractor could crush him, however, the tractor tipped over for no apparent reason. The incident was over in an instant. After that, Jīvanlal was taken unconscious to the hospital. His condition was extremely serious. Jīvanlal was unconscious in the hospital for three days. The bones of his midsection were broken and he had been placed in a cast. When after three days Jīvanlal returned to consciousness, he saw that Prabhupada was slowly circling around him with his holy name beads in his hands. Prabhupada said to him: "Don't you worry. You will be fine." Jīvanlal beckoned to Prabhupada asking him to sit and then fell unconsious again. When he again became conscious, he, just as before, saw Prabhupaīda circling him. This time he touched him on the head with the string of beads in his hands. Like this, for three days Jīvanlal saw Prabhupada in the hospital. With words of reassurance like "Don't worry; you will recover," Jīvanlal became free from his fears. After staying for forty-five days in that way in the hospital, the bandage around his waist was removed. Then the nurses tried to get Jīvanlal to stand up, but without any success. He was completely unable to stand up on his own. After that the doctors were lead to the firm conclusion that he would never be able to walk again. At everyone's crying Jīvanlal realized that he would not be able to move his legs again. Then Jīvanlal began to weep with a troubled heart. Again and again he asked at Prabhupada's feet why he had survived. Now for the rest of his life he would have to be a burden on others. Everyone would only think of him as dead weight. Thinking is this way he began to cry out loudly "Baba! Why have I survived?" Suddenly he saw that Prabhupada was standing behind him. Prabhupaīda said: "Don't you worry about anything. You will certainly be fine." Saying this Prabhupada disappeared and at his words of reassurance Jīvanlal became peacedul.
Three days after that incident Jīvanlal actually became able to stand with the help of crutches and slowly, placing his weight on the crutches. he was able to move his legs. After some more days had passed Jīvanlal became able to move about on his own [without the crutches]. The doctors were speechless. They could not imagine that this was possible.
Then, after Jīvanlāl returned to his home, he wanted to know where Prabhupāda was staying. After asking around he learned that Prabhupāda had gone to Navadvīpa a few months previously.
When fluid began to build in the spinal column of one of Prabhupada's very special disciples named Caitanyacaran Pal of Barackpore near Kolkatta, he had to be taken to the hospital in very serious condition. The doctors examined him and began a treatment that had little hope of his survival.
The spinal column was pierced and the fluid was released. When received the news one babajī of Vrindavana (a relative of Caitanyacaran Pal) went to Bengal to see him. Caitanya Pal was then in the hospital in a state of unconsciousness. His relatives went to the hospital in order to visit him. That babajī too arrived at the hospital. Caitanya Pal's condition was then extremely serious. Just at the most dangerous time that babajī saw that Prabhupada was standing at his head. Prabhupada touch Caitanya Pal's head with the string of japa beads in his hands and disappeared. Witnessing that sort of sight that babajī became extremely amazed.
After that incident, by Prabhupada's supernatural influence Caitanya Pal began to get gradually better. The doctors had firmly decided that that patient was not in any way going to survive, but seeing his return to health they were thoroughly dumbfounded.
In midst of this incident another unprecedented thing happened. That Caitanya Pal before he became unconscious asked that his japa beads be put in his hands. That was done. The extraordinary thing was that when Caitanya Pal was unconscious and was wrestling with death, even then the beads in his hands kept on moving. The doctors seeing this amazing phenomenon were astounded. After he returned home Caitanya Pal wrote a letter to Prabhupada saying: "Baba! It was as if there were some unseen power chanting three lakhs of the holy names through me every day while I was unconscious."
Once one of Prabhupada's disciples, a teacher from Burdhwan, suddenly saw as he was walking down a path Prabhupaīda beckoning to him. After a moment he disappeared. The bhakta was astonished and after some after some inquiry learned that Prabhupada was then staying in Navadvīpa. Without any further delay he went to Navadvīpa and when he was with Prabhupada told of the incident. In response Prabhupada said: "Yes. I was thinking about you."
In this way there are many incidents of Prabhupaīda's moving about in his subtle body. For fear of making the book too large I have not written about them. One of his servants asked Prabhupada one day about this moving around in his subtle body and in response he said: "That's nothing. That's such an ordinary thing." The servant was speechless with amazement. Thinking "would such an uncommon thing be that," he became bewildered.
Acquiring By Wish Alone
This incident occurred once. Prabhupada was then residing at Rasaulī. One day some sannyasīs arrived there. Prabhupada invited them to have grace-food and in response they said that they ate only fruit. And even among fruit they listed all the names of fruit that at that time under no circumstances could possibly be gathered. Prabhupada was worried. After that he asked them to return after bathing. At just that time a Setha (merchant) came byncar to visit Prabhupada. He gave to Prabhupada the all the various fruit that the sannyasīs had previously listed and bowing before him, returned to his home. The sannyūsīs completed their baths and rituals and returned. When grace-food of the very types of fruit they had requested was distributed to them they were extremely amazed and while praising Prabhupada enormously they returned to their homes with gladness in their face.
An Unprecedented Incident
Once Prabhupada was residing with his bhaktas at a lonely place called Pandavaganga not far from Kokilavana. At Pandavaganga there is a pond and in that pond there were many lotus plants. When Prabhupada was residing there there were no blossoming lotuses in the pond. One day in the afternoon there was a reading of the Bhagavata on the bank of that pond. Prabhupaīda was sitting nearby. At that time it was noticed that two blossoming lotus flowers slowly moved from two opposite edges of the pond and met one another in the middle. As long as the reading went on the two lotuses were joined together. When the reading was over the two lotus flowers slowly moved apart in opposite directions. Everyone saw this and was extremely amazed.
Curing Disease by Compassionate Glance
By Prabhupada's ordinary glance of compassion many were freed from difficult situations.
At one time one of his servants was suffering from a fever for some days. Suddenly one day in the morning his hands and legs became uncontrollable. Raising his hand he was unable to take hold of anything. Seeing no other recourse he went to Prabhupada and told him of his condition. Prabhupada told him that it was a symptom of palsy. Prabhupada reassured him saying: "Don't worry about it at all. Everything will be fine." Indeed, in a few days that servant health gradually returned.
Another time another servant had a fever. Because of the severity of the fever the servant was practically unconscious for a few days. After three days the fever increased even more. The servant then with great difficulty went to Prabhupada and told him of his suffering. Prabhupada said: "Don't worry even a little bit. Put water on your head and you will become fine." The servant did that. It was noted that even without any treatment in a few hours that servant began to feel well again.
Grace Through Dreams
Prabhupada was then residing in Navadvīpa. At that time every day many used to recite books on bhakti for Prabhupada. Among those reciters was one named Suresh Mukherjee who used to recite for Prabhupada. He again had a stomach disease. At that time because his stomach ache increased [his diarhea increased] he was not able to recite for Prabhuada for three days. Because of that he felt great torment in his mind. On the fourth day at night he had a dream in which Prabhupada came to him and said: "Suresh, where is your pain. Show me." Suresh showed him his stomach. Prabhupada then rubbed his hand on his stomach and said: "No, no. You have nothing there. Now you have become well." Indeed, after he woke from sleep he no longer felt any pain in his stomach. Not only that. He was free of disease for a long time.
Ability to Know of Things From Far
About thirty years earlier a bhakta came from Kolkata to Vrndāvana to visit Prabhupada. At that time he did not have initiation. Prabhupada was then staying at Radhakunda. As soon as that bhakta came into Prabhupada's presence, Prabhupada told him: "You have stayed here even now? You should return to your home immediately. One of your sons has died." That bhakta quickly returned to his home and saw that indeed one of his sons had passed away.
Knowing Mental States by His Supernatural Power
I noticed that in Prabhupada there was some supernatural power by which he was somehow able to know a person's mental states.
One day a servant of Prabhupada went to circumambulate Giriraja. When he reached Pucharī he met with his older guru-brother, Gopaladasa Babajī. Gopaladasa Babajī gave some grace-food from Jayapur's Govindajī to that younger babajī to give to Prabhupada. When he was returning with that grace-food a boy of Vraja he met on the path said: "Baba, give me some grace-food." That servant thought to himself "how many ways does Bhagavan test the practitioner? Perhaps this is Bhagavan in the form of a boy." Thinking in this way, he gave that boy one sweet and then started on again. After going a little further another boy approached him and asked for grace-food. He also gave him a sweet from the grace-food. After that he arrived at Radhakunda and just as he was giving Prabhupada the grace-food from Gopaladasajī Prabhupada said: "Look, if someone gives something to you for your gurudeva, you should not give any part of that to someone else before giving it to him."
Another time when a guru-brother had an altercation with that same servant he thought to himself after moving a good ways away from Prabhupada: "No! There is no further need for me to serve my guru.
I will go somewhere else." Then again he thought: "No, whatever mental anguish there may be, giving up one's service to one's guru and going somewhere elsewhere would just be foolish." As he was thus arguing with himself suddenly Prabhupaīda roared at him: "You are arguing fiercely with yourself in your mind. That is very bad. By that you will be greatly harmed. I know about it all." The servant was stunned.
One other time that same servant, after placing some distance between himself and Prabhupada, was thinking that if one's mind is not pure, service to one's guru does not really take place. He thus had no idea how many offences had occurred while serving his guru. In the end the burden of offences would be very heavy. Suddenly, Pabhupada began to laugh and then he said: "How many times does a child in a mother's womb kick the mother. Is a sin for the child?"
On another day occurred this incident. That same servant used to massage Prabhupada's body every night. One night just he touched him in order to give him a massage Prabhupada said with anger: "Go away! Go do some kīrtan! Your service won't happen now." At this kind of statement from Prabhupada the servant was struck to his heart. He began to think to himself that by touching Prabhupada with his heart blemished Prabhupada does not experience any happiness. Beyond that who knows how much pain he experiences in his body of clarity (sattvika śarīra) as a result. Moreover, if one cannot perform even the most ordinary service for him will living near one's gurudeva, what is the use of leaving home in the first place? This kind of anxiety was poisoning his mind. He no longer performed kīrtana.
At that time that servant used to sleep by the side of Prabhupada's bed and at night sleep no longer came to his eyes. Again and again only this topic arose in his mind and streams of tears began to flow. Then one night about about one o'clock. Prabhupada suddenly began to call that servant's name: "Binode, Binode!" The servant was awake and he went near Prabhupada. Prabhupada said: "My body is aching something terrible. Give me a bit of a massage." Now the servant fell into a deeper difficulty. He thought that at his touch there will certainly be an experience of pain in Prabhupada's clarified body. Therefore, how can he give him pain again by touching him? Prabhupada again said: "My body is aching fiercely. Give me a massage."
One has to honor the orders of one's gurudeva. With no other recourse the servant while keeping his feet as far away as possible began to massage him. Prabhupada said: "It is not working. Get on top of me and massage me more forcefully." The servant now began to get extremely anxious. How is that possible? Yet, there is no other way. Then he got on top of Prabhupada's chest while keeping his head and feet as far away as possible and began to press on him harder than before. In addition, the servant began to worry that if his breath touched Prabhupada's blessed body, there was no telling how much trouble it might cause him. Prabhupāda again said: "It's not working. Put your complete body on top of me and press." After that the servant gave up all of his reservations and hesitation and pressed on Prabhupada with his whole body. Prabhupada said: "Now that right." In this way after five or ten minutes Prabhupada: "Go now. Go back to bed." The next day Prabhupada again called that servant and said: "Give my body a massage. It's aching a great deal."
Krsna's Qualities in His Bhakta
Now I will endeavor to give some indication of the examplary behavior and moral standards held by Prabhupada. Prabhupada's morality and exemplary practices a vast like an ocean. I, like an ant describing the ocean, am a source of hilarity even for children. Still, by the urging of my Srī Gurudeva I will try to touch a drop of that ocean. Generous readers will purify the boldness of this lowest of human beings.
In the eighth and ninth verses of the sixth chapter of the Bhagavad-gitā it is said that: "One whose mind is satisfied by knowledge born of the instructions of scripture and the direct perception of the truth, who is unmoved in the presence of sense objects and in control of his senses, who sees a lump of mud, a stone, and a piece of gold as equal, and who looks upon a chum, a friend, an indifferent person, an enemy, someone despicable, a family member, a holy man and a sinner with equanimity, such a person is a yogi and the best of all." Prabhupada's behavior was a match for this statement of the Gītw. Those who associated with Prabhupada will certainly agree with this statement. In the Caitanya- caritamrta it is said in connection with the definition of a Vaisnava:
All these qualities define a Vaisnava.
Can't mention them all; can just give a hint.
Compassionate, unoffensive, truthful, equal, faultless, generous, gentle, pure, without possession, giving help to all, peaceful, sheltered only by Krsna, desireless, unattached, steady, conqueror of the six qualities, moderate eater, unexcitable, respectful, not arrogant, deep, sympathetic, friendly, poetic, clever, silent. [Krsnadasa Kaviraja, Caitanya-caritāmrta, 2.22.44-7.]
All of these Vaisnava qualities described by the Caitanya-caritūmrtra existed in Prabhupada. I will try to demonstrate these qualities by means of particular incidents.
Compassion
Prabupada was the very image of compassion. He was always saddened at the misery of the living beings scorched as they were by the three flames and deluded by maya. How much did he himself not suffer by taking on all the sins and sufferings of his disciples. Still, without hesitation he gave initiation to raise up thousands and thousands of living beings who were befuddled by maya and in return he did not want anything. He was not affected in the least by his fame and high standing. Many times I heard Prabhupada say with deep sadness: "When there is a celebration in the house of an important person relatives and friends are invited and they gather and eat the leftovers from the plate that person used. That is how those who are dear to Radharari got their prema-bhakti, and to me she gave respect, worship, and high standing." Towards the wealth of his disciples he did not have the least interest. He himself also did not touch wealth. How many people were there whoafter bowing before him gave him wealth and yet he never used to even glance in that direction. Prabhupada only gave. He did not ask for anything in return.
Once a young man from Kolkata took a vacation from his work and came to Vrindavana. When he came to see Prabhupada Prabhupada with effort to kept him near him for a few days. After that when he revealed to that young man his desire to give him initiation, that young man as if enchanted by mantra agreed. On the appointed day he gave the fellow the initiation mantra. Prabhupada's whole-hearted desire was that that young man not return any more to mundane world of illusion. When his vacation was over the young man made known to Prabhupada his desire to return to his home. Prabhupada did not give any reply. The very day that the young man was to start for home his mental attitude completely changed from the beginning of the day. He began to think:
Why should I return to mundane life? After gaining this rare human birth and then finding a genuine guru, if worship of Krsna does not occur then what is the point of gaining such a birth? If enjoyment and pleasure are the main goals of living beings then there is plenty of such enjoyment in births as animals. Is enjoyment the purpose of human life? And if in youth one does not worship Krsna, then how can it be done in old age? "In youth one worships Krsna out of a desire to have him. In middle age one worships Krsna, out of desire or not out of desire. In old age one worships Krsna out of fear of death." Therefore now is the best time. No more foolishness for wasting this human birth neglectfully out of a desire for the pleasures of false enjoyment.
This kind of thinking powerfully invaded his thoughts. On the other side there was his government job, his friends and relatives, to attract him. After a while he decided to give notice at his job and in the morning went to see Prabhupada. At that time Prabhupada was doing private worship in a solitary cottage by the slope of Govardhan and it was then about seven in the morning. Prabhupada, after meditating on his mantras, would communicate as needed around nine in the morning. When that young man arrived at the slope of Govardhan he saw that Prabupada had come outside and was standing. It was as if he were waiting for someone. The young man went running up to Prabhupada and rolling on the ground at his feet said that would not return again to his home. Hearing this Prabhupada raised his hands and shouting "ho ho" loudly like a madman began to laugh. It appeared that when Prabhupada's wish was fulfilled he showed that kind of delight. After that, that young man never more returned home. Resigning his job at Prabhupada's request and changing his dress he attained Prabhupada's service and became blessed.
By this incident it is very clear that if Prabhupada had even least bit of greed he would not have told the young man to leave his job. Instead, he would have said that with wealth gathered in an honest way he should serve his guru. In this way only for the upliftment of the living beings he extended his grace and bestowed initiation.
At this time there was one bhakta who having lost for some reason the ability to see in his two eyes came to Prabhupada in Vrindavana. Prabhupada gave him initiation and instructed him to stay in Vrindavana and do private worship. At that that bhakta begged in an extreme dispair: "Baba! I am blind. If I stay in Vmdavana who will look after me? I won't be able to beg for alms." In response Prabhupada said "Enough with there is nobody. I am here. I will look after you." At this kind of statement from Prabhupāda the bhakta began to weep. A little while after this, at Prabhupada's instruction he changed his garb. Even until the present he is doing private worship in Prabhupada's temple at Govardhana.
By this incident it is indicated that Prabhupada was troubled by the sufferings of others without any self-interest and gave them initiation.
Compassionate Salvation from the Wombs of Ghosts
With extraordinary compassion Prabhupada, through arranging for seven-day recitals of the Śrīmad Bhagavata, saved many living beings who had been born as ghosts.
Prabhupada was then staying at Radhakunda. One night Prabhupada was lying down and one of his bhaktas was massaging his feet. It was about ten at night. The servant finishing his service went to have some grace-food. Prabhupada had almost gone to sleep when suddenly he felt as if someone in the dark was massaging his feet. Prabhupada was not able to see anything in the dark. Then he said: "Hey, who is it? Who are you?" and there was no answer. Prabhupada again said: "Hey! Who are you who are massaging my feet?" When there was no answer Prabhupada began to call loudly for his servant: "Gaura Govinda, Gaura Govinda!" His servant, hearing his call, put aside his grace-food, quickly entered his room, and asked why he was calling. Prabhupada said: "Who is massaging my feet now?" The servant was extremely surprised. He had put the chain on the door from the outside when he had gone and at that time there was no one in his room. He said: "Who, Baba? There was no one in the room." Then Prabhupada understood that this was not result of any human being. It was heard that before it was sold someone had committed suicide in that house. At the beginnings of dark nights there used to be the sounds of someone walking on the roof. Even after much searching nothing was ever seen. After that Prabhupada arranged for a seven-day recital of the Śrīmad Bhagavata in that place for the redemption of that deceased soul. After that no other incident was heard of.
A babajī who was one of Prabhupada's disciples used to have a ghost always following after because of some mistake he committed. At that time, that babajī used to do his private worship in a cottage near Uddhavakunda. Beginning after evening the mischief began to occur. Sometimes that
ghost would perhaps take the form of a horse and come and stand there and then as one watched it would change to the form of a cow. Sometimes it would take the form of a woman and stand there and then before one's eyes it would disappear. Sometimes in the dead of night it would forcefully shake the thatched hut of the babajī. In various ways like this it would cause frights in the babajī. The babajī brought many exorcists and fakirs but to no avail. Gradually, the babajī began to become sickly out of anxiety. One day the babajī got a charm from an exorcist and wore it around his waist. One night after the sun went down, the babajī was sitting. At that time that ghost push down his shoulder and took that charm from his waist. With no other recourse, he went to Prabhupada and in distress told him all about the situation. Prabhupada knew about it even before he was told. He instructed the babajī to arrange for a seven-day recital of the Srīmad Bhagavata. The babajī asking for alms from many places gathered three hundred rupees and gave it to Prabhupada. Prabhupada said: "Good. If there is any left over I will return it to you. Still, you have to fast the whole day and in a pure condition listen to the Bhagavata seven-day recital." The babaī agreed to that.
Prabhupada at that time was staying near the slope of Giriraja (Govardhana). In order to perform the Bhagavata Saptaha he brought Krsnadasa Babajī from Barsana. On the second day of the Saptaha in the morning the babajī in question was listing and a little further away another babajī was sitting. The second babajī noticed that the first babajī seemed to be talking with someone with his hands folded and yet there was no third person there. The second babajī was overcome with curiosity to know who the first babajī was talking with and thus he asked him. That first babajī told him the story half in Hindi and half in Bengali. Weeping profusely he said: "Look. You folks don't see. I see it all. Look there. That ghost is just standing here up till now. Till now it does not leave." Hearing his words the second babajī could not decide whether he would laugh or cry. Anyway, on the evening of the third day after the beginning of the Bhagavata's recital, right at eight o'clock, that ghost broke the boundary wall of Prabhupada's Govardhana aśrama from one end to the other and took its leave.
Once Prabhupada was staying at a place called Hodel in the circle of Vraja. One day in the middle of the night someone began to call from outside in the voice of a woman: "Baba, Baba!" His servant went outside quickly but was unable to find anyone. It should have been mentioned before that Prabhupada used not to sleep much at night. The servant asked Prabhupada whether he had heard the woman's voice calling or not. In reply, he said that he too heard it. The next day in the third watch of the night Prabhupada had gone for his bath and with him sent a servant. At that time in the middle of the darkness was heard the call of that woman's voice "Baba. Baba." The servant after much searching was unable to find anyone and became extremely astonished. The next day when a Vrajavadī of Hodel came to see Prabhupada they told him about the call in a woman's voice at night. In response the Vrajavasī said that a few days previously a woman had committed suicide there. Then Prabhupada realized that that women had come back as a ghost. After that Prabhupada arranged for a seven-day recital of the Srīmad Bhagavata there and gave that ghostly soul liberation.
Not Harmful of Others
I have never heard that Prabhupada in his life ever caused injury to anyone. Instead, if he came to know that anyone had caused him harm, he would regard himself as the great offender and feel sadness. Thus, Prabhupada used to think that it was because of his own faults that others caused harm. It was seen that if anyone gave Prabhupaīda even an ordinary glance askance and if he came to know of it, he would treat that person with so much more respect that, without seeing it, it would be hard to make someone understand with words. There was one babajī in Vmdavana who used to engage in unseemly criticism of Prabhupada. After Prabhupada heard of that people when that babajī used to come for a visit, Prabhupaīda would try to give him great attention and affection. Such was the case that if he came to Prabhupada, he would invite him to eat and having him seated nearby would feed him himself. Seeing that babajī's cordial reception everyone was astonished. Another babajī of Govardhana used to look askance at Prabhupada. I have seen that Prabhupada used to show him, too, respect with an inordinate amount of affection.
Once Prabhupada was staying at a place named Aksayavata near Tapovana. The abbot of the Sītarama Temple of that place was a Ramanandī baba. He did not look upon Prabhupada with eyes of affection. Moreover, I have seen that Prabhupada used to show that mahatma uncommon respect. A holy man coming from Aksayavata to Tapovana arranged a distribution of food. Prabhupada invited that Ramanandī baba of Aksayavata, but he did not agree to come. Then Prabhupada instructed one of his servants to deliver a portion of that to the Ramanandī baba and return. Not only that—he began to inquire again and again a portion had been sent or not. In this way I was aware many times of his absence of harmfulness. Prabhupada was the very image of idea of absence of harm.
Essence of Truth
He made the only true object, the lotus feet of the Divine Couple, Srī Radha and Krsna the essence of his life. Saying that is more than enough.
Equable
Equable means seeing all living beings as equal. In other words, the one Lord resides in all living beings. One who perceives this attains a genuine condition of equal mindedness. This state of equal-mindedness is a characteristic of a great Bhagavata or devotee of the Lord (Bhagavan). In the Gīta the Lord says: "Hey Arjuna, let there be joy or let there be sorrow. A person who through similarity of self looks with an equal eye upon all is the best of yogīs. This is my opinion. In Prabhupada's life this equal-mindedness existed in full measure. No matter who approached him and no matter what level they were on, he would show respect and honor to all in the same way.
Once Prabhupada's son Vrindavana Gosvamī came to Vrindavana along with his dependents. I noticed that Prabhupada did not show even the most ordinary joy at the coming of his son. When the young sons of Vrindavana Gosvamī came near to Prabhupada, he did not once turn and look at them. I saw that the way he behaved with ordinary people was the same way he behaved towards his own son and grandsons. The way he behaved towards those who were always engaged in his service was the same way he behaved towards ordinary people.
At one time Prabhupada used to do private worship at the slopes of Giriraja. Near his cottage a sickly dog used to live. From time to time that dog would come into Prabhupaīda's cottage and eat the sweets given by his bhūktūs. Prabhupada seeing that never said a word.
One day in Prabhupada's temple in Govardhana there was a special offering of food. At Prabhupaīda's instruction a portion of that food was sent to offer to Girirāja. After offering the food to Girirāja for two periods Prabhupāda instructed his servant "Take some luci and sweets and give them to that dog. All day the dog has not eaten anything. It's very hungry." The servant was amazed at Prabhupada's equal-mindedness.
Even among holy men he did not distinguish who was higher and who was middling. Who took pleasure in private worship and who did not do private worship, this did not fall into his view. He thought of all without distinction as Vaisnavas. Holy men of all communities and of all levels were to him objects of the same respect.
If true equal vision arises in someone, that is, if the direct perception that one God is present in all living beings occurs, not even an iota of malice remains in that person's mind. As a result no living being behaves violently towards that person either.
The Nonviolence of Living Beings Towards Prahbupada
Prabhupada performed his private worship even while living in the midst of many dangerous forest animals. But, no animal ever used to attack him.
One time Prabhupada was living with a few bhaktas in a grove called Ratan Kunda not very far from a village called Candori which was a few miles from the town of Chata. It was then winter. One day in the morning Prabhupada was absorbed in private worship in an open space. It would have been around nine o'clock in the morning. A servant went to bring Prabhupada a glass of sarbat and saw that a long poisonous snake had entered into Prabhupada's body wrapping and was moving about. The tail of the snake was sticking out. Prabhupada was immersed in relishing the rasa of the sports of the young couple in his meditation-intent mind. The servant seeing this kind of sight from a distance returned to the cottage. After a little while the servant again returned and saw that the snake was taking his leave from Maharaja. The servant, too, breathed a sigh of relief.
In Tapovana Prabhupada used to do his private worship under a Pilu tree. That place was the habitat of many poisonous snakes. Even in the face of many entreaties, he selected that place as the best place for private worship. One day a servant saw that above Prabhupada's head a cobra had spread its hood and was swinging back and forth.
Prabhupada with a placid expression on his face just remained in the bliss of private worship.
Even the crooks, thieves, and thugs did not give trouble to Prabhupada. One time Prabhupada was staying in Tapovana. On the news of Prabhupada's presence there, too, many wealthy people used to come and go. As a result, suspecting that there was a lot of wealth with Prabhupada, a gang of thieves appeared before Prabhupada one day at twelve o'clock at night armed with guns and pistols. Prabhupada in a very calm way offered them places to sit and asked them sit down. Then Prabhupada asked whether they had eaten or not. In response they admitted that they were indeed hungry. Prabhupada called a servant and asked him to arrange food for them. In a little while the food was ready and he fed the gang of thieves until they were satisfied. Seeing this kind of heart-felt, affectionate behavior the gang of thieves forgot their purpose in coming. Then they thinking about returning home, bid farewell to Prabhupada. Prabupada, looking on them with affection like he would his own people, forbid their going so late at night and requested that they stay there with him. How would the thieves be able to depart? They then offered a gift of one hundred rupees at Prabhupada's feet and bowing to him said: "Baba! We are not good men. Don't worry, though. You remain here with love. As long as we are around, nothing bad will happen to you." After saying this, the gang of thieves, bowing again to Prabhupada, took their leave.
Prabhupada at one time used to do private worship in a place called Goalapukur near Kusumasarovara. It was dense forest. One day in the middle of the night Prabhupada was resting. With him was one servant. At that time two thugs arrived there and asked how much money they had. That day a bhakta had come to show respect to Prabhupada and had given some money. The servant brought out that money and offered it into the hands of the thieves. After that they asked for something to eat. At that time, because Prabhupada was ill, a kind of sweet balls had been made for Prabhupada out of ghee and cow's milk. Out of that the servant gave them four sweet balls. They devoured those four and asked for more. Then, when Prabhupada asked his servant to give them all of the sweets the servant did as asked. The thugs took two sweets and after going off a ways they came back to Prabhupada, returned the money they had taken and departed.
Without Faults
There are many kinds of faults. Among them there are eighteen major ones. Those are: bewilderment, weariness, confusion, astringent flavor, useless labor, unreality, anger, acquisitiveness, apprehension, universal folly, inequality, strong urges, agitation, arrogance, envy, harm, distress, dependence on others. Prabhupada was free of all those faults. I will try to throw some light on this topic briefly.
Bewilderment
Prabhupada was not in the least bewildered by worldly things. Since this is known to everyone, I have not given any special examples.
Weariness
In his life as a practitioner or in his life as accomplished being no one saw Prabhupada to be overcome with weariness. Only at night an ordinary state of weariness used to remain and that too only for a half an hour.
Useless Labor
Useless labor is labor done to attain worldly things without any focus on Srī Krsna. On this subject, too, much has been discussed before.
Astringent Flavor
This is passion without any connection with divine love (prema). For one who has achieved an object that consists of inconceivable divine love, where is his interest in any astringent flavor?
Unreality
What previously was not, now is, and later will not remain, that is the unreal. The only real thing is Srī Krsna. One who with his body, mind, and speech has sought shelter with that real thing, for him what place is there for the unreal?
Anger
Prabhupāda was without anger. Nevertheless, in order to correct his disciples he from time to time showed imitation anger. Clever people will observe this.
Acquisitiveness
This is the desire to obtain the things of this world. In the matter of obtaining worldly things Prabhupada had no interest. Whatever of Prabhupada's temples and ashramas there were, he had no interest in them. They arose because of his bhaktas' desires.
One bhakta revealed a desire to spend lots of money to renovated Prabhupada's temple at Radhakunda. If one said that Prabhupada showed only a small amount of enthusiasm for it would suffice. Nevertheless the bhakta many times submitted his desire to Prabhupada. In response, Prabhupada said: "Do as you desire." Prabhupada did not clearly display any kind of enthusiasm for the project.
Prabhupada was staying at Nīlacala. At that time one bhakta requested of him: "Baba! Please go to Vrindavana. If you don't go to Vmdavana, Brajen Dhar will not build a temple at Radhakunda." Hearing this, Prabhupada showing the thumb of his right hand said: "If he doesn't do it, I don't care at all." Take it from that how free from desire he was.
Apprehension
For one who had no desire to obtain worldly things, there was certainly no apprenhension about the loss of worldly things.
Universal Folly
This consists of the desire to protect the universe of bhaktas like Brahma and so forth. For one who wants to attain the menial service of Srī Radhika, where is his universal folly?
Inequality
This topic has been previously discussed.
Strong Urges
This is worldly desire which only gives sorrow. On this topic I have not repeated former examples.
Agitation
This is restlessness. One who has attained the direct vision of the Young Couple (Yugala-kiśora, Śrī Radha and Krsna) has become truly peaceful. Prabhupada was free of real agitation.
Arrogance
That Prabhupada was completely free of conceit. This anyone who has had association with him even for the smallest while would accept unanimously. Not only was he free of arrogance himself. If even the slightest amount of arrogance were seen among any of his bhaktas he would not tolerate it.
One time a servant said to Prabhupada: "Baba! In practices of ritual purity we are not any less than any other community (sampradaya). Rather the Gaudīyas practice greater ritual purity than many other communities. Why then do many other communities not accept food cooked by the hands of Gaudīyas?" Prabhupada in an extremely serious manner fiercely protested: "This is your arrogance. You should think to yourself that they have much greater practices of purity than you. This kind of arrogance is not good." The servant became shamed by this kind of statement from Prabhupada.
A servant was telling Prabhupada about his misdeeds in his previous stage of life (aśrama). After that, the servant said to Prabhupada: "You know, Baba. I was previously very bad." Prabhupada became very pensive and then said: "You mean you want to say—now you have become good?" The servant was completely unprepared for this kind of question from Prabhupada. He was able to understand that in that kind of statement of his—"now I have become good"—there was an arrogance lurking. That arrogance was unable to hide from Prabhupada's faultless sight. Then the servant said: "No, Baba! I have not even now become good. Still, before there was no effort to be good. Now I am trying. That is the only difference."
Envy
This is being pained when one sees another's good fortune. This is a very reprehensible mental state. There is no need to mention this in connection with Prabhupada.
Harm
Harm is not appropriate even in ordinary human beings. What to speak of humans, Prabhupada did not harm any living being.
One time there were a lot of bugs in the bed that Prabhupada used to sleep on. His servants said that if they cleaned the bed in the most best manner with hot water, the bugs would all die. Prabhupada did not accept this suggestion. He said: "If one puts the bed in the sun, then the bugs will all run off."
Because Prabhupada did not harm any living being, no living being harmed him. Sparrows used to come in bliss and land on his head and then fly off again.
In Prabhupada's temple at Radhakunda there were many mice. Prabhupada did not scare off even one mouse. Many times I saw that the mice being chased would run into Prabhupada's outer garments and take shelter there. It was as if they had a long friendship with him.
Distress
Prabhupada did not have even the least attachment to worldly things. Therefore, when worldly things were destroyed he felt no distress.
Dependence on Others
In the first stage of practice Prabhupāda used to perform all activities from cooking on with his own hand. He was not dependent on anyone at any time. At a later time when he was overcome with paralysis, even though it is the root of obligations he used to accept service. But, in his mind and in his heart he did not depend on anyone.
At least eighteen kinds of fault have been considered here.
I noticed that if anyone talked about anyone else's faults in the presence of Prabhupada, he would become extremely irritated with the person talking. That was so whether he spoke justly or injustly. Prabupada usually used to say that of all the kinds of character faults there were, the worst was that of finding faults in others. No one ever heard any discussion of the faults of anyone from Prabhupada's lips. Because he was himself without fault he saw no faults in others.
Generosity
He was extraordinarily charitable. What can one say about his charity? No matter who it was, brahmana, Vrajavasī, babajī, or whoever it may be, if they came to Prabhupada with some need, he would without agitation give to them. Bhaktas used to give clothes and other materials for his service and he without a hesitation would distribute them among the brahmanas, Vrajavasīs and holy men.
One descendent of a Gosvamī used to come to see him from time to time. As soon as he arrived he used to talk about the troubles of his household life. Then whatever was in Prabhupada's possession, money, clothes, and so forth he would give to him without hesitation. I have seen this kind of generosity in him in many ways.
Softheartedness
He was by nature tender and soft. What other example will I give about Prabhupaīa's tender nature. Those who have come into contact with Prabhupada know it in the best way.
One time Prabhupada was staying at Kokilavana. He had come from Premasarovara to Kokilavana. A few days after that a severe hail storm destroyed the crops of nearly all the places of the region of Vraja. Prabhupāda began to say again and again with extreme sadnesss: "Just see what kind of holy man I am! They have served us with so much effort and look at the result of serving a holy man like me. All their crops have been destroyed." Saying this again and again he began to show sadness.
It is particularly worthy of note that at that time only the place where Prabhupada was staying did not have any sort of hail storm.
Purity
Purity is of two kinds: inner purity and outer purity. Prabhupada with great firmness protected this state of purity. Outer purity he used to observe indeed and with that inner purity. For example, if such things as calumniating anyone, harming any one, being pain at another's good fortune, lust, anger, greed and so forth appear, then one's inner purity is destroyed. Prabhupada with extreme effort and enthusiasm protected his inner purity.
Being Without Possessions
One is possessionless who has rejected all forms of enjoyment and pleasure for Srī Krsna. Prabhupada left behind wife, son, family, all the earthly joys for the sake of Srī Krsna.
Offering Help To All
Prabhupada by see all as the same used to help everyone without distinction. To him, when it came to helping there was such thing as no self and other.
At one time Prabhupada was living at Tapovana. Needless to say, wherever Prabhupaīda used to stay, there charity cases also appeared. Even in Tapovana there was no exception. There was a Vrajavasī brahmana who had received Prabhupada's grace. When he became the charity case, he used to come with his whole family and have grace-food. Not only that—his daughter's marriage was coming, please give cloth. His dhoti had become torn; please give a dhoti. In the winter I feel such difficulty; please give me a blanket. In this way, whenever there was whatever need, he would ask it from Prabhupada. Prabhupada without argument whenever and whatever he asked for used to give it to him. One day one of Prabhupada's servants said: "Baba! If you invite him, he will come along with ten or twelve people. Apart from that when he wants some cloth or something you give it to him. He is your disciple. Therefore, he should serve you. But not that, you are serving him." Hearing this kind of statement from his servant, Prabhupada said is a very gentle way: "Look. For one who is hungry, food is necessary. For one who has no cloth, cloth is necessary. His needs are greater. He is a brūhmana and on top of that a Vrajavasī. If one has to give giving to him is proper. They are not able to eat well. If it doesn't happen here the game will be over for him and his family in a few days." Seeing this kind of magnanimous outlook of Prabhupada's the servant began to condemn his own niggardly attitudes.
Peacefulness
A bhakta of Krsna is desireless and therefore peaceful. All those who desire sense enjoyment, liberation, and power are without peace. In Prabhupada's case what more exemplification shall I give?
Without Lust
This means being without the deep-seated inclinations or urges (vasana) to satisfy one's own senses. Prabhupada used to always remain immersed in the flavor of divine sport. Therefore, it goes without saying that in him there was not the slightest degree of inclination to satisfy his own senses.
Indifference
This means being without effort in any other matter except for serving Srī Krsna. This too took concrete shape in the life of Prabhupada.
Steadiness
One never used see any agitation in Prabhupāda on any matter. Once one of Prabhupada's disciples was shoved by the monkey and fell off a roof. Having fallen down that servant was badly injured and had lost consciousness. The news was given to Prabhupada. Hearing this news he was not in the least upset. He only said: "For this reason my left eye has been twitching since morning. I knew that there would be some loss." After saying this he began to talk normally with another bhakta on another subject.
One of Prabhupada's disciples, a babajī by the name of Sankararanya Dasa, without telling anyone entered Nidhuvana at night desiring to see the divine sport. The next day in the morning the guard opened the main door for entering the forest and found the babajī unconscious on the path entering the forest. When they received the news the guru- brothers came running. A doctor was brought. Foam was coming out of the babajī's mouth. After much examination and consultation the doctors could not find any cause for this. After remaining a day in this state the babajī was taken unconscious to Prabhupada's asrama in Govardhana. Prabhupaīda was then engaged in private worship at the slope of Giriraja. New was sent to Prabhupada and the amazing thing was that he did not show the slightest degree of disturbance. After that some of Prabhupada's foot wash was brought and placed in the mouth of Sankararanya Dasa Babajī and a few moments after that he left his mortal body and went on to the next world. News of Sankararanya's passing was sent to Prabhupada, but another astounding matter. At this too Prabhupada did not show even a little unsteadiness. He only said: "If he had gone in a condition of a little more mature worship, it would have been better."
Conquered the Six Bad Traits
The six bad traits are: lust, anger, greed, illusion, intoxication, and envy. By another account they are: hunger, thirst, old age, disease, grief, and delusion. Prabhupada was one who conquered those six bad qualities as well. Since the first set of bad traits are among the previous the eighteen faults, the following six bad qualites are discussed here.
Hunger and Thirst
In Prabhupāda's behavior, I have never seen him to be troubled by thirst or hunger. On Ekadasī and on other waterless fasts especially on a summer days, we used to become extremely troubled, but we never saw Prabhupada to be troubled.
Old Age and Disease
Prabhupada's old age and disease that were seen, those were only to give others a good opportunity to perform service and thus to bring about their ultimate well-being. The old age and disease in him that were seen in him were not produced by his past actions starting to fructify. Below I have tried to clarify the matter.
One day Prabhupada said to one of his intimate servants: "Look, for saints (mahūpurusa) nothing remains to be called fructifying karma. But, in order to give others an opportunity to perform service and to bring about their ultimate good fortune, they ask the Lord for him to create new fructifying karma for them." After saying this Prabhupada went to do his ablutions. When he returned from his bath, the same servant began to dry off his feet. At that time Prabhupada said with a smile: "O Lord! Please create some karma and again cause some more service. This is your sport." By this statement of Prabhupada it is proven that for him there was no more fructifying karma. Nevertheless, to make others fulfilled by giving them an opportunity to serve he had created fructifying karma.
I have noticed that if anyone came to visit him, Prabhupada would talk about the sufferings of his body. But, when no one was there, I have noticed that he did not think that there was any kind of suffering. With an affectionate, peaceful and satisfied face he would continue relishing the flavors of divine sport. In order to hide himself from the view of the people he would show this kind of external illness. The truth of this was proved at many times and in many ways. How many times was his blood tested, his stool, his urine and so forth and how many times were xrays taken, but in all of that not the slightest problem was ever found.
His sport of illness did not remain the same either. After a few days his illness used to change. Sometimes it was "My stomach is aching. Bring a doctor." The doctor was brought and the medicine began to be taken. Now it was "My teeth are aching. Bring the doctor." The doctor was brought. The teeth were done; now it was difficulty breathing: "Bring the doctor." The difficulty of breathing was forgotten. Now a cough started. When one illness started the other was forgotten. In this way he reveal an illness-sport and kept his servant-bhaktas busy.
This topic has been discussed before.
Moderation in Eating
Prabhupada was always a moderate eater. In the first stages of his practice he used to eat only fruit during the day and then only a little of that. Later he would eat a little milk and tapioca in the morning and in the afternoon water-chestnut flat-breads and vegetables without oil or spice. In his final days he only ate curds and boiled apple once a day.
Without Frenzy
I never saw Prabhupada become frantic or maddened by any matter. Let any delightful or disturbing incident occur, he was in all circumstances free of madness or frenzy.
Humility
One who thinks of himself as lower than anyone else and does not desire to be respected or honored by anyone else is humble.
This feeling of humility existed in full measure in Prabhupada. If any Vaisnava came to see him, he would bow down and in a very modest way would say: "I am unfit. I cannot go anywhere. Therefore, you have gracefully come to give me a sight of you and make me fulfilled." Whatever holy man on whatever their stage, when he came Prabhupada would show respect for him through this sort of humble statement. It was not only that he was free of arrogance, if he noticed even the slightest arrogance in any disciple-servant he would severely condemn it.
One day one of Prabhupāda's servants had an argument with one of his older guru-brothers. At that Prabhupada called that younger servant and said: "Look, you should not regard the judgment of an older guru-brother as unjust. You should think that the fault is yours. If you ever see someone's faults, you should think that it is because of your ignorance and arrogance that you are seeing others faults. Even if your elder brother strikes you you should think that the fault is yours. Keep in mind that if one is able to tolerate one is chaste and if one is not able to tolerate one is a whore. If you are able to be tolerant, you will be able to be a holy person (sadhu). And if you are not able to be tolerant you will become fallen. If you are not able to be free of pride you will not be able to obtain bhakti at any time. As long as you feel proud, you will not be able to receive Bhaktidevī's grace. Another name for Bhaktidevī is the Mother of Humility. If a small child is at home then one should know that the mother is nearby. She doesn't go very far away. In that same way, one should know that where there is humility, Bhaktidevī is staying nearby. The tree that bears fruit bows down. In the same way, the head of one who has received even a little of the grace of Bhaktidevī remains bowed. In other words, he continues to think of himself as lower than others. "The Lord shows greater grace to the lowly. One one who thinks of himself as a scholar and high-born is very arrogant." If one is able to think of oneself as lower than all others, there is no more fear. You should not go to defeat anyone. This is the Vaisnava world. Here the one who defeats is the one who loses. We have all lost and come here. We are constantly remain losing. You too should lose. You will see then that you have won." Prabhupada always gave special force to the "lower than a blade of grass" verse.
Taciturn
In Prabhupaīda inscrutability was particularly noticeable. Knowing his inner moods was difficult.
Compassionate
One who is not able to tolerate the sufferings of others is compassionate. This subject has been discussed before.
Friendly
I also have left aside this topic because of repetition.
Poetic
One who is good at creating sentences that are sweet to the ear, possess beautiful meanings, and arrangements of deep feelings is poetic. This subject has been discussed in the treatment of the life of Prabhupada.
Expert
One who is capable of getting things done is expert. Expert also is one who is not lazy and who is able to complete difficult tasks quickly. Before he was affected by paralysis, he was expert in all undertakings.
Silent
One who does not speak about anything other than the names, forms, qualities and sports of the Lord is called silent. In the first stage of his practice Prabhupada used to maintain complete silence. At later times during the day he remained silent and in the evening he would speak as needed.
An Actual True Guru
Prabhupada was an actual authentic guru. I am not making this kind of statement just because he was my guru. Through the few incidents given below, I will try to make this matter more clear.
One time a lawyer from Kolkata took initiation from Prabhupada. He line of thinking was that if he took initiation from an accomplished saint, by the grace of his guru all obstacles and calamities would be removed and his special earnings in business and trade would be improved. But, not seeing that kind of result after taking initiation he became disappointed. Gradually he began to lose his faith in his guru also. Then one of his so-called friends instructed him: "Brother, all that worship of the divine couple is worthless. Nothing will come of that. You take to the mantra of the Goddess. The Mother is very much awake. Therefore, because of that your good fortune and earnings in business will increase." The lawyer believed his friends words to be true and was initiated again into the Goddess mantra by a worshiper of the Goddess. Immediately after receiving that initiation every kind of obstacle, calamity, disrespect, disease and sadness arose such that the lawyer became completely lost and began to search for some solution. One after another the troubles came. Then seeing no other recourse he took shelter of a brahmana priest at Kali Ghata. He told him: "Brother, please implore the Mother on my behalf. I am worshiping the Mother; yet in spite of that why are there so many difficulties? And how can I become free of those troubles? Inform the Mother about my troubles. I will cover all of your expenses." The priest did that. A few days after the imploring of the Mother, the Mother one night took an extremely frightening form in the priest's dream and said: "Why are you beseeching me on behalf of that one? I am going to finish him off. He hasn't seen anything yet. I have only just begun with him. Didn't he reject an accomplished Vaisnava guru and take shelter with me?" Saying this much the image of the Mother disappeared. The priest became extremely frightened. He went to that lawyer and told him what had happened. Hearing all that, the lawyer went all the way to Vrindavana and fell at Prabhupada's feet crying like a baby.
There was a wealthy resident of West Bengal who out of a desire to receive mantra initiation was searching for an authentic guru. Many people from many different communities began to exert influence to try to bring him into their fold. That person having no other recourse went to Tarakesvara and supplicated Baba Tarakanatha to obtain a genuine guru. A few days after the supplication Baba Tarakanatha told him in a dream: "You receive initiation from the Mitras' family guru." There was one Mitra with whom the gentleman was well acquainted and who was a disciple of Prabhupada. After that he went to Prabhupada and told the story of the dream and receiving the grace of Prabhupada he became fortunate.
Guileless Behavior like a Child
Prabhupada from time to time behaved like a child. When he saw small children he used to become very joyful. Seating them close to him he would tell stories.
One of Prabhupada's bābājī disciples while talking with Prabhupada used to tell him stories based on incidents from the Ramayana and sometimes incidents from the Mahabhārata. Sometimes in the course of describing various incidents he would tell stories about Gopala Bhada as well. When he was describing some particular incident Prabhupada would becoming amazing just like a child and say: "Bahba! How terrifying! What happened after that, Gaura Govinda?" After this kind of listening he used to say: "You know a whole lot. I don't know anything at all!"
One day a big black ant bit into Prabhupada's foot and held on. After many efforts to remove the ant, the ant became torn in half at the belly. Then that same babajī, thinking of a riddle, recited it: "Black in color, feeds on the toe; though its stomach is torn it does not die." Prabhupaīda hearing the riddle became enthusiastic just like a child to know what the subject was. When the babajī told him the meaning of the riddle, Prabhupada began to laugh just like a child.
A bhakta often used to come from Vrindavana to see Prabhupada. He used to were on his head Gandhī hat. Prabhupada suddenly had a desire to use one of those kinds of hats. He requested that bhakta to have such a hat made for him. In a short while a cloth hat arrived for Prabhupada. Receiving that hat Prabhupada's joy could not be restrained. He used to sit nearly all the time with that hat on his head. When he took the hat off his head he would ask again and again if the hat was carefully put away. One would think that that hat was his everything. After wearing that hat for a few days he forgot about that hat.
Free of Modern Ways of Thinking
One day a servant was talking about his occupation in his former life. After that he said to Prabhupada "Do you know, Baba, in my work life I used to also take bribes (ghusa)." Prabhupada said: "What sort of thing is a ghusa (bribe)?" Though the servant tried in many ways he was not able to make Prabhupada understand what a bribe was.
One day a servant was talking with Prabhupāda about the modern or present age and mentioned as examples the cruel massacres at the villages of Pipada in Bihar and Manda Bazar in Tripura. Prabhupada said with great astonishment: "What's that? Do such things really happen in the present day?"
Vigilant Observation Even Though Unmanifest
At Premasarovara a Vrajavasī was a disciple of Prabhupada. He was advanced in age, too. A few days after Prabhupada's disappearance, after being bedridden with illness he said one day: "Look! Guru Baba has has come to take me. Give him a place to sit." After saying that his body became motionless. da himself came to taken him to the far shore of the mortal world.
When one of the other guru-brothers developed ill feelings towards a servant at the Govardhana temple, he decided that he would go elsewhere. That night Prabhupada said to that servant in a dream: "Sudama, where have you decided to go?" The servant, Sudama Dasajī, never went anywhere again.
In Vrindavana at Srī Srī Radhamurarīmohana Kunja when there was some disturbance on some matter, the servant determined that he was going to go elsewhere. At night in a dream he saw Baba who said with an extremely saddened face:"No one will serve me. No one will serve me." That servant never went anywhere else.
One day Prabhupada's wife Mata Gosvaminī came to Prabhupada's āsrama in Govardhana. When she came revealed her desire to stay in Prabhupada's private worship hut at the temple. At night Prabhupada said to Sudama Dasa in a dream: "Put her out of my room immediately! Otherwise, I will not be able to go into it."
On Kausīka Mountain in the Himalayas a Dasanamī Sannyasī holy man used to perform private worship. At the order of his guru there he came to Srī Dhama Vrindavana wishing to worship the divine couple. After coming to Vrindavana he became specially enthusiastic to associate with Vaisnavas of the Caitanyite tradition. But as he went for association, in some places he encountered special attacks. Because, since he was a māyāvādin sannyāsin, many nourished a disgust toward him and used to give him fierce glances. In many places they disrespected him as well. At this he experienced great pain in his heart. Coming to Vrndāvana he saw a picture of Prabhupada and became specially faithful towards him. One day at night he had a dream. Prabhupada was sitting at the base of a tree on the bank of Premasarovara. The renun- ciant prostrated himself before him. Prabhupada with great enthusiasm offered him a seat. After that the renunciant expressed his mental anguish before Prabhupada: "Master! Why is there so much constriction in dharma? Being a sannyasin one is not qualified to attain the lotus feet of the divine couple? Members of other communities are not able to attain the lotus feet of Bhagavan, or become bhaktas of Śrīman Mahaprabhu?
Or is this the monopoly of Gaudīyas? I came to Śrī Dhama Vrindavana with so many hopes, but now I see that here nearly everyone is happy to remain bound within the limits of restrictions. Going to associate with Vaisnavas I have gained only mental anguish and my mind has become saddened." In response to that Prabhupada said with a smiling, peaceful face: "Look! If one ignites wood that is wet one gets smoke and a sputtering, crackling noise. When that wood has been burned by the fire and turned into ashes then there is no more smoke and no more noise. In the same way as long as the mental operations are covered with ignorance there are many kinds of disagreements and clashes. When those mental operations are burned by the fire of knowledge then there is are no more disagreements. Where there is no perception of the consciousness world (cinmaya-jagat), there there are many communal disagreements. Where there is investigation of consciousness [realm] illumined by the light of bhakti, there there is peace." The renunciant being pleased by this answer of Prabhupada accepted him in his heart as his guru.
Jaya Śri Gaurasundara, Jaya Nityananda Rama!
No comments:
Post a Comment