Over time, physical bonding tends to frustrate freedom. When people feel frustrated, they resort to telling lies to preserve their bond. But telling lies reduces self worth. Whenever the ego-self of a person is hurt, anger results. Anger comes from having to conform to other’s values, helplessness, and limiting freedom. Suppressed anger leads to neurotic diseases. So the highest value is freedom. But Love does make life enjoyable and worth living. So a commitment to bondage of love is equally valuable.
Hunger and sex are both basic, powerful drives. One is to preserve the body and the other the race. They are both alike, both seek variety. They are nature's plan to preserve life which is very precious and rare in this vast cosmos. Nature has been trying to evolve the hard won life over millions of years.
We go through the sequence: friendship- love- sex-marriage-children. The weak link here is that the attraction of sex decreases with familiarity, and novelty brings excitement. If love is based on attraction of sex alone, love also goes out of the window when the attraction is gone in a life long relationship. People then continue to live as strangers under the same roof. When the wife is pregnant or nursing, she cannot engage in conjugal activities. Men want it, but they can’t get it. During that time, they tend to have extra marital relationships. To prevent damage to their ego if they tell the truth, they tell lies. But this phase can’t last long. The crisis eventually comes, with ugly anger leading to divorce. Divorce is damaging to the parents, damaging to the children. Most marriages are crashing on the sexual attraction based marriages. Mass media is focused on variety in food and sexual attractions; because corporate companies make money using them. Can we prevent this? Should bonding really restrict freedom to have friends outside marriage? Where and how do we draw the line between bondage and freedom? Can we create a bond that promotes freedom? What is the magic link which converts bondage to freedom?
How can bondage convert to freedom? This is a billion dollar question, the marital problem in a nutshell. Because this question remains unresolved by present marriage contracts, 70% of marriages are getting broken in west. In East, it is less on the surface of it, but really deep down, there is fear and enmity between partners in marriage in about the same percentage. We need a new paradigm. The paradigm is to see and promote affection in everyone; and sharing as an expression of love to all; so that marriage is not between a human pair, but to a divine pair which pervades all. Sex is love for the human couple; sharing is love for the divine pair.
Chakra a divine circle of friends. It comes really from ancient wisdom called Sri Vidya. It smoothens the rough and murky waters of togetherness by bringing the divine as a partner into the marital bond. It gives the personal and public bonds the freedom to express their own sacred spaces to the partners equally. It is like two tall trees growing together, but not in the shadow of each other. Read on, for a typical scenario.
Sharing is the magic link which converts freedom to make mistakes with the bond of love. After all, learning is not possible without making mistakes. Freedom means merging with all, God-like a divine love with everyone. Love is a bond, but it is also the means to merge two into one. It remains weak, since it unites only two people. Sharing is an expression of love to all, being in love with all. It is a very powerful concept. When the focus shifts from self to sharing, we will love all, and the result is that we are loved by all. Who can hate one who gives love? Giving love returns love, with a bonus, gratitude. Loving Sharing is the transformational link between bonding and freedom.
How can gratitude become effective? Suppose I gift an article worth 1000 to a person earning 500. The value perceived by that person is very high, 200%. If I give the same 1000 to one who earns 100,000 every month, the satisfaction level is hardly 1%. We can’t give to rich people and earn gratitude from them; they only expect more. Service given to needy is much more potent. It is powerful.
This is why serving food, giving education, and shelter building become such powerful transformers. The paradigm is: surrender a little of the ego-self for a common good.
Couples in a Chakra love all people as so many expressions of divinity. Sharing what they have binds them with all. It incorporates the idea that everyone is God or Goddess. It accepts human flaws as a part of learning in divine plan. All expressions of love are only towards God or Goddess.
Here is a typical scenario, for entering a Chakra. It is based on excellent traditions of ancient wisdom called Sri Vidya, Grace of Learning embedded in a SriChakra.
C is the couple who want to enter a Chakra of devotees. They go to a Priestess P. They carry a pair of Auspicious Chakras and two garlands each.
1. P: So you have come to enter a Chakra of devotees.
C: Yes.
2. P: Will you accept that all people are temples of Shiva or Shakti?
C: Yes.
3. P: Will you permit your partner to visit or enter other temples?
C: Yes.
4. P: Will you share food, education and your abundance with others in need?
C: Yes.
5. P: Will you tie the Sri-chakra as a symbol of Divine Chakra to your partner?
C: Yes.
6. P: Now please garland each other.
C: They garland to each other.
7 P: Now tie the Sri Chakra to your partner around neck.
C: Bride first ties Sri Chakra to the Groom who then he ties to her next.
8 P: This couple is now in the Chakra. All of you here bless them now with a hug.
All people shower flowers on the couple and hug them, one by one.
9 P: It is time for fun! Enjoy tasty food, divine music, and dance, pray.
Guruji
Thousand Lingams
Maha Siva Ratri, Feb12, 2010
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