Friday, April 15, 2016

Stilling the Flow of Thought: Vasana Kshayam via Prati Paksha Bhavana

(A discourse given by Guruji Sri Amritananda Natha on April 4, 2006, at Devipuram).

You cannot understand the concepts of Vasana Kshayam (stilling the flow of one’s thoughts) and Prati Paksha Bhavana (counteracting one thought with another) in isolation. They need to follow one another in a certain sequence. Simply put, Prati Paksha Bhavana means, “Whatever thought comes, oppose it.” But to understand this, you also need to understand what came before the Prati Paksha Bhavana, what is going to come after it, and what Vasana Kshayam is for in the first place. These ideas have to be understood in their totality.

Dispensing With Names
Let’s begin with Vasana Kshayam. You don’t achieve this stilling of the mind’s flow by merely replacing “bad” thoughts with “good” thoughts, because vasana refers to thoughts of all kinds – good, bad and indifferent. The moment you begin classifying things – as good or bad or whatever – the very act of naming them itself creates an attachment.

The world is full of such classifications and guidelines – hundreds of them, each naming and defining what is good and what is bad, how one should live and what proper conduct is. There are Muslim guidelines, American guidelines, Indian, Chinese … take your pick! There are entire books of guidelines! Choose your religion; they all talk about it.

Of course, we don’t choose the guidelines we grow up with. We’re born into them; the moment we come into this World the guidelines and labels are there waiting for us. Brahmins have their guidelines; Kshatriyas have theirs; each group has its own set. Even dogs have guidelines; even plants! The guideline for plants might be, “Thou shalt not move from the place where you are. You must take nourishment from the soil in which you were born. If you cannot get that nourishment, then you must die.”

A plant can’t go wandering off in search of water – it shoots out roots as best it can, and if it does not find water it dies. That’s how Nature is – compassionate to some, and not compassionate to others; or at least that’s how it seems from our perspective. Because compassion is a human emotion; it does not govern Nature. Nature is beyond emotion. That is why we say Devi is both Roudri (the Angry One) and Prashanti swaroopini (the embodiment of Supreme Peace):

|| ati sowmyAti roudrAyai nathAstasyai namo namaH ||

She is the most pleasing among beautiful things, and the most ferocious among terrible things.

Under Nature’s laws, there is no good and bad. That’s just the law. “Good” and “bad” are human judgments, not Nature’s. Nature is indifferent. So you can’t reduce your attachments just by changing the name you apply to them. You will be no less attached. You are attached to the bad by hatred of it, and to the good by desire for it – so where have good and bad gone then?

An Absence of Thought?

Moreover, if all vasanas – if all of your thoughts – are deleted, then how can you recognize anything at all? You won’t even recognize whether you’ve achieved samadhi or not! Mano nasham and buddhi nasham (Tantric techniques for “destruction” of the mind and the intellect, respectively) take place in the thoughts. Buddhi (the intellect) is part of manas (the mind), is it not? So if we eliminate all thought, then buddhi is gone too. There is no mind to contain it. How is this different from anesthesia? How is it different from death? There is no mind to see anything, no mind to recognize anything. What is there? Is it shunyam (emptiness)? Do you want to become nothing? Is that the goal? Is death the goal?

If you say killing a person is bad, then I say killing a person’s mind is also bad. If you turn someone into a vegetable, is that good or bad? The person becomes incapable of thinking, incapable of anything. Is that what we want? Is that the goal? No. So what is the goal we’re after? Are we seeking emptiness or fullness?

As long as you’re having thoughts, you are not experiencing vasana kshayam. Whether they’re good thoughts, bad thoughts, big thoughts, cosmic thoughts, powerful or powerless thoughts, you’re still having vasanas, thoughts. Even if you experience a vast cosmic explosion of knowledge into yourself, that too is a form of vasana.

So does vasana kshayam mean a total cessation of all thoughts and experiences? Is that the goal? Should it be the goal? No. To say that nothing is in the mind is a fallacy. Certainly, flowing experiences couldn’t exist in such a state; but couldn’t there be non-flowing, timeless experiences? Let us do a thought experiment: Imagine that you have a piece of cardboard with a slot cut into it, and that you’re viewing a book through this slot, moving it diagonally from one corner of the book to the opposite corner. As you move the slot, all you can see through it is a linear section of the book. From this perspective, it makes sense to say that the book is born in one corner as a point, grows wider and wider as the slot moves over it, then smaller and smaller again until it is reduced to just a point again at the other corner, where it dies.

This scanning view makes a two-dimensional object appear as a constantly changing one-dimensional line. But if the Time does not flow – if the scanning is not done – then you see the book as a whole. It will not be born at this corner, nor die at the other. It is there when you look at it, and it is not there when you don’t look at it. It exists in one region of Space and Time, but not in another.

A Different Kind of ‘Experience’


If we increase the number of dimensions we observe in an object, that object gains in richness, it doesn’t lose. The two-dimensional view of our book, for example, is richer than its one-dimensional, linear view. Similarly, when we see the World not by scanning it in Time, but by seeing all of Time as if it is was also Space, then the World is there even when Time is not flowing. So obviously, there is an “experience” – just not in the way that we generally understand the term “experience.” It is not the same world that we experience when Time is flowing.

By “experience” we generally mean something that is moving, something that is taking place within the flow of Time. Yet a much richer experience than this Time-bound perspective exists. In the richer, Time-less view, nothing is born, nothing is moving, nothing is dying – and yet the experience is not empty, not null; rather, it is ALL. It is not shunyam (emptiness), but poornam (fullness)!

When you perform vasana kshayam, it means you’re trying to stop the mind from moving; that is, you’re trying to stop the flow of Time in your mind. Does an experience result from this? Consider another example: Take an audio cassette and look at it. All of the music is there inside it, but we don’t “experience” it in this way. To experience the music, we have to “scan” it in Time at a certain speed, i.e. run it through a tape player. Only then we can experience the music in the conventional sense of “hearing” it.

If we scan it too fast – say, by playing a half-hour program in one-tenth of a second – it will sound like a bullet shot. But if you can extend your imagination to the experience of hearing every wave in the music at the same time – from a perspective in which Time is like Space – then you can get close to what “hearing” an un-scanned cassette means: It subsumes all experiences of hearing the cassette at all speeds; and yet, in this view, it does not mean anything to say, “I hear the music.”

Instead, you’re in a domain where all of Time is seen at once. Every division of Space and Time is seen simultaneously. So it is certainly not “nothing.” On the contrary: It is Totality. And how can Totality be nothing? So in this understanding, if there must be a sutra – a short definition – to summarize what vasana kshayam is, it would be: “You stop thinking.”

But is that really an accurate definition? Let’s say we have a wave – a sine wave – in the form of a thought. And now let’s add another thought – an opposite sine wave. The net result is zero thought. Thought, like Life itself, must move in Time in order to exist. So basically what we’re trying to do is counter the movement of thought in Time. In other words, we are trying to gain a Time-less experience – and thus there can be no action in it, because action belongs to the realm of flowing Time. Action happens in Time. If Time is moving, then action can exist. But if Time does not move, what action can there be? What action can there be in a frozen photograph? Both killing and giving birth are actions. Both good and bad activities are actions. But when nothing is moving, when nothing is changing, what good can there be? And what bad can there be?


The laws of Nature are a constant existing outside the flow of Time. They do not change with Time. This Mula Prakriti – Primal Nature, the base matrix upon which manifest Nature operates – is invariant. On the other hand, Prakriti – the everyday, manifest Nature that is constantly being born and growing and changing and dying all around us – is a variant. And there are two kinds of variants. These are called co-variants if they are moving in the same direction as Time, and contra-variants if they are moving in the opposite direction. Both possibilities exist – both co-variant and contra-variants – with respect to Time.

So that means we must adjust our sutra: The aim of vasana kshayam is not the cessation of the mind, but rather the cessation of Time. Or maybe not even the cessation of Time, because again, in the Time-less realm, Time is like Space. Space doesn’t move, and neither does Time. … But here we are encroaching on the borderland between physics and philosophy. Since I understand neither, I had better stop now.

Accessing the Universal Memory

To return to my original point, fullness is our aim here; not emptiness, not destruction. We are not dealing with mano nasham (destruction of the mind), but vasana nasham (destruction of thoughts). And what is vasana actually? We’ve been calling it “thought” as a kind of shorthand translation – but more accurately vasana denotes the course or flow of memory. You remember some event and it begins moving in your mind as you go through the story of that memory. That is called vasana. An incident has happened, and you remember it. You remember the sequence.

How else can we explain the concept of vasana? Well, tie a piece of hing (in English, asafetida; a pungent, edible plant resin) inside a cloth for a while, then remove the hing – still, the cloth will retain its scent for a long time. That is what vasana is like. Some incident happens, it gets stored in your brain, and your mind replays it. That is to say, the memory is replayed; it is not washed out or erased. It is not shift-delete; it’s there in recycle bin! You can access it in the usual way if you need to.

Nothing is ever destroyed, because there is no destruction, nor is there any birth. You can neither destroy nor create. Everything is there all the time, just waiting in the recycle bin. So memory can never be destroyed; God’s memory is perfect. Instead, what we’re destroying is the movement of Time within the mind. At any given moment, we’re only looking at a certain part of our recycle bin, and it is that particular view that we’re focusing on. That is what should be called vasana kshayam – a stillness of the mind, in which good thoughts are countered by bad thoughts, and bad thoughts by good thoughts.

This is not mano nasham; it is not the destruction of the mind. That would be more akin to reformatting the drive on your computer. All memory is erased, all programs are lost – all lives are lost, no survivors. That is shunyam. Is that our aim? No, it is not the aim and it could not be the aim – because you cannot destroy God. God is this world. If you destroy the world then God also dies, and God is beyond death.

So what can we do? How do we still our thoughts? Well, all thoughts are waves, right? So how do we reduce the intensity of a wave? We meet it with an equal counter-wave, making the net amplitude zero – the two waves nullify one another. And so that is what vasana kshayam must mean: If what we seek is a “thought-less” state, then there should be no waves. And how do we kill a wave? We create a counter-wave – and that must be prati paksha bhavana.

In using this technique, you might say that you enclose your mind between two shutters: A thought goes from here to there and comes back; it is reflected here, reflected there; it oscillates between the two until it finally collapses. At that point, there is no more oscillation. The mind remains still. Which means you’re moving away from your individual mind – that which you are stilling – and out toward the Universal Mind, which is the superset of everything. When Time is moving, you cannot enter the Universal Mind. You can enter it only when Time is stilled. Vasana kshayam is used in that sense.

Remember: It is vasana kshayam, not mano layam – stilling of the flow of thoughts, not destroying the mind. The mind consists of one’s individual memories. What we’re doing with vasana kshayam is replacing this individual memory with Universal Memory.

A Timeless Realm

This concept of prati paksha bhavana really can’t be put it into practice in an everyday context, mainly because our everyday life is so totally different from the Time-less experience of God. Our daily experience, our daily life, plays out within the context of Time. And as long as Time is moving, it’s not possible to relate our experience to a Time-less experience.

Within our realm of Time, you’ve got to have kama (desire). How can we delete kama? Without kama, there can be no life on this Earth. Hunger is a form of kama, too. And why do we hunger? Because we want to live! Moreover, how can we kill roudra (anger) if we are worshiping Devi? If you’re doing Devi upasana, then you’re worshipping roudra – you’re worshipping Rudra (Shiva)! Rudrasya BhAvaH roudraH – the essence of Rudra is roudra.

Kama, krodha, lobha, moha, mada, and matsarya (desire, anger, greed, infatuation, pride, and jealousy) – these are all the juice of life! So are shanti (peacefulness) and bhaya (fear), and punya and papa (holiness and sinfulness). Each of these passions has its own particular role to play. You cannot eliminate them without eliminating the World.

Think about it: Without anger, one cannot put energy into an enterprise; the enterprise would come to a standstill. Without greed, there would be no capitalism. Why does capitalism work? Because one greedy man can provide jobs and livelihoods for hundreds of people; thus, greed sustains the distribution of wealth. Without moha – infatuation with possessions, and the attendant desire for more – you’d not see houses built, or dams or atomic reactors. Without moha, families could not survive, nor villages, nor nations. Mada is pride; you have to have honor too, right? “You make me proud, my son,” we say. Without pride, there is no moving ahead. So that is also required.

In sum, our ordinary, day-to-day, passion-driven experiences are totally different from the Universal Experience of the Time-less domain. You cannot translate one into the other. They are two different realities.

Let’s say your computer has plenty of memory, but you kill the clock. The computer is aware of all its memory, but it doesn’t sequence the data through its clock. The clock is Time, right? Tick-tock, tick-tock. A digital clock keeping binary time: Zero-one, zero-one. And you delete it.
What happens? Nothing! Nothing can move. In the Time-less domain you’ve created, every moment is a subset of another moment, and a superset of still another. Such an analysis is not applicable to the Time-driven domain in which we live – a qualified, controlled and limited domain. The operations and laws that are applicable here do not apply there.

Vasana kshayam is like that. Upon the database we call the World, we apply a sort of filter and look through it. Everything that’s contained in our Time-driven domain is most definitely contained in that Time-less realm as well; in fact, much more is there than here. The Time-less experience cannot occur absent a concurrent experience of Totality. The Emperor’s Mind, God’s Mind, cannot be reached by Time-bound thoughts. That is why you’ve got to destroy Time. You’ve got to extend yourself from minus-infinity to plus-infinity, both in Time and in Space. You’re such a small atom here in this Time-bound realm; how can you hope to experience the infinite without ridding yourself of Time? Time resides at the Ajna Chakra: Without crossing it, you cannot reach the Time-less domain.

Words and Infinity

Here’s another phenomenon that plays out in our Time-bound domain: People talk of more and less – not only in the material sense, but in the realm of spirituality as well! There are even more-and-less arguments about Realization: If A has realized God and if B has also realized God, then what A says about the experience should be the same as what B says.

The thing is, when we’re speaking in terms of infinities such comparisons simply don’t apply. A can experience one infinity, and B another. Both of these infinities are equal to the Total Infinity, and yet both can still be totally different from one another. That is why there are variations in what the various seers tell us: It does not have to be same experience for everyone. Why should it be? Infinity is precisely that – an infinity of infinities! There is no concept of more or less! Such ideas are quite irrelevant in the domain of infinities.

Dattatreya tells us, “Eat, drink and fornicate, and you’ll achieve your goal!” Lord Dakshinamurthy says, “Avoid all of these things, and you’ll achieve your goal!” So who’s right and who’s wrong? The question itself is absurd in the domain of infinities! Both are right, and both are wrong. Right and wrong, like more and less, are human judgments. And what does Nature care about human judgments? Nothing! Why should it care? And we discussed  earlier, Nature cares only for its own laws; it is bound only by its own guidelines, not the ones we create!

The constitution of Nature is defined by its laws. For example, that c, the speed of light, is constant; that Time flows; that Space flows; that there’s a genetic code describing how evolution will unfold. You can’t modify these laws of Nature; they are the very basis upon which it operates! And where are the good and bad in these rules? Nowhere. When a bullet is aimed at a person and fired, it goes and kills the person in the crosshairs. So long as it is operating within the laws of physics, the laws of Nature, you cannot stop the bullet from killing. Nature doesn’t take compassion on the person and say, “Oh bullet, please do not kill this person; that wouldn’t be good.” It doesn’t say that. It is not bound by human judgments.

Human judgments are such a small thing in the infinity of the Cosmos. Can a single blood cell within you dictate what you should think and what you should do? No – you are an infinity of cells; how can one cell dictate what your totality should do? We get carried away by own our words and labels and judgments. We need to go behind the screen of these words and find out what’s actually the Reality they’re talking about. Sometimes they make sense; sometimes they’re nonsense. Sometimes I’m not convinced that anybody is talking sense, including myself. So maybe that’s enough for today. Thanks for listening.

An Infinity of Infinities


(A discourse by Guruji Sri Amritananda Natha
May 2006, at Devipuram)

Seven crore (70 million) mantras – sapta koti maha mantrah – are said to have emanated from the five faces of Shiva (i.e., sadyojata, vamadeva, aghora, tatpurusha, and ishana) – plus urdhvamnaya (meaning, “the one above”) and anuttaramnaya (meaning “there is no reply;” laa jawab in Hindi; i.e., it is so supreme that you can’t conceive of anything beyond it; it is past description, beyond question or argument).

Obviously, it would be difficult to recite or do sadhana of all these mantras. So the great sages grouped them into several basic categories, corresponding to the seven chakras – and yes, there are some people who practice them all! But the Parashurama Kalpa Sutra does not refer to all of them; it simply picks up a few mantras from each chakra, and collectively they are called the Rashmi Mala Mantras – literally a “garland of rays” shining from the Mother Goddess. In the tradition of Parashurama, the recitation of these mantras is enough. They cover all the amnayas.
Amnaya means a chakra, a wheel, a parampara – that set of teachings and practices passed down through a given guru lineage. Dakshinamnaya, for example, is followed by the temples at Sringeri and Kanchi; Urdhwamnaya is followed by Badrikashramam; Poorvamnaya by Poori Jagannath, and Paschimamnaya at Sourashtra peetam. Although all of these peetams (holy sites) were established by Shankaracharya, they each follow different amnayas. And for each amnaya, a particular set of mantras is given.

Fortunately, however, it is not necessary to practice all of them. Why complicate your life? Simplify it! How much can you achieve in a 100-year lifetime anyway? A hundred years isn’t even a given yet; at best, you can probably start off at age 15 and keep going until you’re 60 or 70. So you have maybe 50 years to work with. And in those 50 years, how many mantras can you get the siddhis (results, fruits) of? Every one of them works; all of the Dasha Mahavidyas (the Ten Wisdom Goddesses and their respective sadhanas) work – so pick one path and stick to it. What’s the point in reaching the same destination from all different directions? Each path offers its own unique experiences along the way, yes; but the goal remains the same.

It’s like this: There is a hill and there is a peak. And there are many ways to climb that hill and reach that peak. And once you’ve reached the peak, then you’ve got a 360-degree vista – you can see all around; you can see all of the paths that are there. Yet, this bird’s-eye view is different from the view of the person who is still traveling below.

Or suppose you take a plane and travel from here to the U.S.A. – you can do it in 24 hours. But is that the same thing as walking to the U.S.A. over a period of 12 years – or is it different? In the same way, we’ve got to realize that the Infinite can be reached in any number of ways. And once we’ve reached it, we see the nature of all the paths. But that doesn’t mean you’ve got to experience every path, laboriously going through the whole sequence again and again.

To put it differently, let’s say you want to generate a picture by raster scan (i.e., by displaying or capturing a video image line by line, as on a computer monitor or television screen). You can complete that scan horizontally – line after line after line – or vertically, or diagonally at any angle; there’s an infinite number of approaches. But if you record the value of each pixel – the sequence of which produces the picture – each type of scan will generate a completely different history and evolutionary process. They are all equally valid; in the end you see the totality of the picture, which is in a sense sum of all its parts. And yet the “music” generated by each of these raster scans is totally different.

We’ve got to recognize that when we say “God is Infinite,” we mean that He-She-It is an Infinity of Infinities. Thus, the experience gained by any one person in reaching God need not tally with another person’s experience in reaching God – because they are each accessing a different region of these Infinities.

It is a common mistake to try and compare the experience of one seer with that of another; to say, “If they both reached the same spot, then they should both be seeing the same thing.” But that’s simply not correct. Different people see different things at the peak, just as they had different experiences in reaching the peak. You too would have a different set of experiences if you’d chosen another path. Because it’s the path that defines the experience, not the goal. Experience is a word we use to signify a flow in time – a set of pictures or feelings; things of that sort. These experiences are all subsumed in the goal, and at the same time they are not individually experienced. Different path, different experience.

Different regions of Infinity can be totally different as well. There is just no comparison. You can’t say that one experience is greater or lesser than another – the question of comparison is just totally invalid in the domain of Infinity. You can compare finite domains using size or location or some other quantifiable factor as your basis. But on what basis could you ever compare Infinite domains? What possible criteria could you employ? And unless you draw such limitations, you have no basis for comparison. Therefore, since you cannot draw limits around Infinities, it follows that you cannot compare them. Concepts of comparison – such as larger, better, best, supreme, etc. – apply only to finite domains.

So if you follow, say, the path of Sufism, you’ll gain a particular sort of experience. But will it be identical to the experience one gained by Shankaracharya or by a Vamachari? No, they’ll be totally different. Just as the experience gained by a plant in meditating and in reaching God will be totally different from that of a human being, which is in turn totally different from that of a sage or a Deity.

The Infinite Destination

What about once you reached your goal of choice – ascended to the peak, reached God? Is it then a simple matter to go back down and experience the journey again via another path? That’s difficult to say. Experience, once again, is something that flows in Time. A Time-less state is something altogether different – a different set of rules applies. So you might reach full realization on that path a little faster; but, then again, you might not.

Suppose you’ve spoken Telugu since childhood, done your graduate work in English, and now you’ve decided to learn another language. It may well take you a much shorter time than it did when you were starting afresh on a new language for the first time. Because once you’ve learned one language, it can become easier to learn additional languages.

But I don’t see any similar shortcut whereby we can hope to speed up the process of “reaching Infinity.” The very concept of speed is predicated upon a domain of distances and Time – we divide distance by Time to get speed. But in a domain where Time itself is not moving, how can we talk of speed at all? How can we talk of any experience at all in a realm where there is no Time and no Space?

An example I commonly give involves the experience of watching a movie on CD on your computer screen. What exactly is happening in this scenario? Are we seeing the movie in the CD? Not really. We’re looking at the computer, not at the CD directly. So are we looking at a program inside the computer? No, it’s not really that either – we know the programs inside there are total nonsense to us; just vast tracts of binary code, nothing readily recognizable at all. At yet, when all of that data is run through a particular sequence, the experience becomes totally different – and suddenly we are enjoying a movie.

So the idea of “speeding up the learning process” on other spiritual paths by first reaching God via one of them isn’t really an applicable concept. Once again, the experience might help – because perhaps you’ve learned something. Learning is an associative process, and the more links you’ve forged to a particular concept, the easier it will be to establish additional links. So the learning process can be speeded up by creating an increasingly dense network of links.

But the basic issue remains: The laws that govern experience in Time and Space simply do not apply to the Time-less realm. After all, what does it mean to “reach your goal” when the destination you’re referring to is Infinity; when it’s completely beyond definition? How do you even know when you’ve reached such a destination? How far do you have to go before you reach the “end” of Infinity? When do you stop and where? The question of reaching a destination simply does not arise in Infinity; it’s a false assumption. When I called it “an Infinity of Infinities” just now, I only happened to stop at iteration number two. I could have said it’s an Infinity of Infinities of Infinities of Infinities of Infinities … why stop at all? You never reach the destination.

Suppose an ant is crawling on a ball. It can keep moving for an infinite amount of time and its journey will never end. It can travel on and on – for eons and eons and ages and ages – and the end will never come, even though the journey takes place entirely within the infinite domain. Keep going around the Earth in an airplane and you’ll come to the same point over and over again, like a never-ending cycle – like a sine wave; where does it begin and where does it end? Even though Space and Time are finite, you’ll never reach the end as long as you keep going.

And if this is true of what is finite, then what of the Infinite, when the destination is Brahma Jnana (experiential knowledge of the impersonal Supreme Divine)? Where is that? Can you say that if I follow a certain set of instructions, I’ll attain Brahma Jnana? I’m afraid not. What is Brahma Jnana, after all? It’s creativity; a way to manufacture, to create new things. And is there any end to creativity? Is it a reachable goal or destination? Of course it’s not. That’s why I say moksha (spiritual liberation) is like a carrot dangling in front of your eyes. It can enhance your creativity and that’s about it. Every religion is a carrot; the cult of Devi is also a carrot – but at least it’s a loveable carrot. If you are a hare, you’ll love it!

Seriously, though, I don’t think there is any end to the journey. If there is an end, then why does Shankaracharya say, “na bandhO na mOkshaH” – there is no bondage, and there is no release. Only if there is bondage to begin with can you have release. If there is no bondage, then what release can there be? If you’re in a prison cell, then you can be set free. But if there’s no prison, what is there to escape from? If something is not true, how can you make it true?


Truth is Experience

So there’s no point at which we can say, “This is it. I’ve reached the destination.” There’s just no such thing. How could there be? What is the point, for example, at which the number Pi (π) ends? After you cut a circle into three parts, Pi times the diameter gives you the circumference of the circle. You’ve measured off the three units and what remains is Pi; 3.14159 … at what point does that number end? It never ends. That is why it’s called Sesha Naga (the Infinite Serpent, or Infinite Wave); it is the unending remainder. The three units are finite, but the reminder is infinite. Thus it’s called the Infinite Wave – unending waves of numbers. If you calculate Pi to 5 billion numbers, can you say you’ve reached the destination? What about the 5 billion and first number? You can always add another 1. You can always add another billion. There is no end. You never reach the destination.
In this regard, I’ve been asked, “If there is an Infinity of Infinities, a journey without end, then why do the Vedas refer to the Sarvajnatvam (the Knower of Everything)? Just what is that Everything? And what about the states that Buddha and Mahavira reached? Is that only the beginning?” Well, who am I to know what states they have or haven’t reached? But it’s precisely the question I was addressing earlier, isn’t it? One sage tells us one thing about Infinity and then another turns around and tells us something completely different. Who’s right, the first seer or the second one? Both are right and both are speaking the Truth. Truth is Experience. And different people can have different experiences – what’s wrong with 4 that? Problems only arise when you start saying, “My Truth is the only Truth, and nobody else’s is true.” That’s where things go wrong. Infinity is a domain in which even opposites can be true.

Thus we can have one fellow who comes away from his experience feeling, “Wow, now I know everything!” and another who feels, “Wow, I don’t know anything.” Both views are true in the realm of Infinities, along with every shade in between. So when the Vedas refer to reaching that “by knowing which I know everything” – that’s fine; that’s correct. I’ve no argument with it. But what about those others who say, “I don’t know anything”? Are they not also correct? What I’m saying is that the first sage has – like all other realized souls – seen up to a point, has seen a certain region of Infinity – but only believed and declared that he saw everything. In actuality, it is not possible to reach any point like that.

|| Yato vacha nivartante apraapya manasa saha ||

“Whence words return saying, ‘Oh, I’m not able to describe it anymore! All descriptions fall short of the experience!’” Indeed, how can you describe such an experience?

We must keep in mind that the subject of Infinity is not amenable to our normal conceptions. Our everyday ideas and understandings don’t apply there at all. In general, when we attempt to translate the experience of Infinity into concepts that make sense in our finite domain, we fail miserably. They just don’t apply here.

We’re struggling to find some order; trying to understand the unknowable in terms of the known. But I don’t think the Vedas – which were codified in a certain region of Time and Space – are telling me how to reconcile my bank accounts. There is much, much more beyond that. There is much, much more beyond all the religions in the world.

Beyond Space and Time

Can we somehow remove these limitations on our ability to completely explore the Infinity of Infinities? Only by dying; only by Death – the process by which we lose our individuality and our egos. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help us much – because we cannot die.
Look at your own body – it’s a river of life! Whose life are you living? There are billions of living cells within you. Millions are dying and millions more are being born with every passing second. But “you” are continuing through it all, right? The continuity of your life flows on through all of those deaths, can’t you see it? How can life die? It just is! It’s not possible to live and it’s not possible to die. We simply are.

|| AjA kshaya vinir mukta ||


Aja means “who is not born.” Kshaya vinir mukta means “She cannot die.” Kshaya suggests reduction; She cannot be diminished or reduced. You can not reduce Her, you cannot increase Her. Because increase and decrease are concepts applicable only to the finite realms. Infinity cannot be decreased or increased. The concept of measurement does not apply to Infinities. Time is not a parameter, nor is Space.

Just as you cannot go beyond thought via thought, you also cannot go beyond Space via Space or beyond Time via Time. “Beyond,” in the sense we’re using here, means “overcoming limits.”
Remember our ant, crawling endlessly over the finite surface of a ball? He will never get beyond that ball by means of crawling on it, no matter how long he crawls. He’s got to leave that plane of existence. In the same way, you and I will never reach Infinity using means that are limited by Space and Time. We have to leave the realms of Space and Time, and enter into strangeness. We must enter into the domain of constants, unbound by Space or Time.

Take the number 1, for example – where is it located? At what point in Space and Time is the number 1 to be found? Is the concept of numbers bound by Space and Time? Or Life itself – where is Life located in Space and Time? Is Life a constant determined in terms of Space and Time?

Life as we know it – life as we experience it – is a concept. The Totality of Life being explored via a limited Time scan – that’s the experience we typically refer to as Life. That limited conception of Life is what we’re exploring in our present state via this scanning process. But it’s not the Totality of Life; it’s a narrowly bounded peek at a tiny sliver of Life. To get beyond that, you’ve got to get beyond Space and Time. They are the barriers.

Into the Fourth Dimension

|| Yonistu vaishnavi Shaktihi / Lingo rupa sadashivaha ||


Space we can call Vishnu, or Yoni, or Shakti. Time we call Linga, or Shiva. The Shiva Linga governs at four levels: (1) Fear and Sex; (2) Power and Love; (3) Space and Time; and (4) Bindu, the point into which everything implodes. The explosion of Bindu is the Universe of Space and Time and Matter. But why should the Universe be limited to Space and Time? What about spin? What about strangeness? Our present understanding is that the Universe is made up of seven dimensions. We’re confined to three of them – and what we’re trying to do here is focus on a fourth.
But what is this fourth dimension? To get some idea of it, let’s do a thought experiment: Think of a cube – one centimeter deep, across and high. And now, let’s add a fourth dimension – the width, depth and height remains the same, but now we add “one second” of Time to the description. And imagine that in this one second, the cube becomes twice as big. Say that every corner is connected to its corresponding corner by a line – a total of eight corners and hence eight diagonals, all of them parallel. They appear to be non-parallel when projected into Space, but they are parallel in the direction of Time.
Now suppose that, in the process of growing, this cube has also moved sideways. How does our four-dimensional object look now? It’s one second long and it’s growing and moving in space, pulling outward simultaneously in all directions. Or let’s say it’s not moving linearly, but in a curved trajectory, so that the curves connecting the corresponding corners are curving parallel to one another – parallel, that is, to their direction in Time; but perpendicular to their direction in space! And now let’s add another layer of variables; let’s say that time does not move linearly but cyclically, from 0 to 1 second and back to 0 over and over, behaving like a sine wave …
Okay? Do you see the complexity of the Space-Time description? There is a tremendous amount of complication in a four-dimensional structure. All of these configurations can be represented in three dimensions by some strange-looking pictures – a virtually infinite number of representations, all depending on how you scan them in Time. Life is like that, too. 

The Blade of Time

Try to imagine Universal Consciousness (or Universal Awareness, if you like) as a ball of thread – a single thread wound into a large ball. This Awareness – that is, the thread – both constitutes and permeates the entire ball. The thread knows itself at all points. It is all one Unified Consciousness. But now let’s say we bisect that ball across a given plane. What happens? Each of the individual points of thread we see in the cross-section becomes a unique awareness. How many awarenesses are there? A vast number of them – countless points of awareness.

Looking at any single one of these tiny little awarenesses, you’re seeing only a part of the Totality of Awareness. Each point of partial awareness observes the others (since it is the nature of awareness to observe). Each awareness thinks that it is different from all the others. I’m one dot of awareness, you’re another. I think you’re different from me, and that you’re different from him. You think she’s different from me, and I’m different from you. What happened? The Unified Consciousness of the thread of Awareness has been shattered into a huge assembly of substructures, each looking around and observing its Self – while thinking that it is observing something different. These perceived differences were induced by the process of sectioning the ball.

What is the blade that thus divides Total Awareness into separate individuals? That blade is called Time. And if Time is a blade, then so is Space. Infinity is continually being sectioned in an infinite number of ways. The evolutionary history of the Cosmos consists of Unified Awareness splitting itself into various awarenesses and then seeing itself as all of those many different awarenesses.
But Time and Space are both relative concepts; there is no absoluteness of Space or Time. And that is why the Infinity of Infinities and the experience of lives – though they appear different – can be unified by moving beyond, to a point that is beyond Space and Time. When the scanning effect of Time is removed, then all of these points of partial awareness become merged once again into a single Unified Awareness.

Unifying “the experiences of lives” – people are always quite interested in this concept. They ask me, “When you go beyond Space and Time, do others’ experiences become your own?” Well, yes, in a sense – the very concept of “other” disappears then. But all the same, that “experience” is not the same as or even similar to the idea of “experience” as we know it in the finite domain – that’s what I’m trying to say. You can’t really even call it experience because it is not flowing in time. Is there life in a constant? Does the number 3.14 have life?

And what about a statue? Is there life in a statue? A statue is an unchanging constant, right? That’s why statues can represent God – better than movies or animations can, for example. With a statue, the scanning stops and the image before you becomes a constant. Just as when you take a photograph, its stops time and everything in that particular moment in Space and Time fills the film.
Change is induced by the movement of Time – and if Time is not flowing, there cannot be change. “Happen” is a verb, verbs need action, and action needs Time in which to unfold. So in a realm beyond Time, there can be no action, no force, no speed, no acceleration. And when you are able to transcend your “scanning” view of this world – when you learn to stop filtering it through Space and Time – your “world photograph” too becomes a constant. It becomes an invariant and does not change.

Is this state of constancy itself a limitation? Not really, I’d say. When you overcome the limitation of Time, you arrive at a richer representation of Time. Suppose you project a picture of an object into two dimensions. If you then take each point within those two dimensions and project them outward to Infinity, associating a different value with each, is that a richer or poorer representation? Now take the picture and collapse it vertically, so that the whole thing becomes a single line. Again: Is it a richer representation, or poorer? Now collapse the line into a point – so it becomes a Zero or a One. How is that, better or worse?

Hindu philosophy tells us that it’s a richer representation; Buddhist philosophy tells us that it’s a Zero because nothing is there – no Time; no experience. We say it is not nothing, but everything – not empty, but full! They call it shoonyam – we call it poornam.

Karma and the environment



(A discourse by Guruji Sri Amritananda Natha May 2006, at Devipuram)
It is true that we pay for what we do; or, to put it another way, that we reap what we sow. And the corollary commonly drawn from this rule seems to be that we don’t reap what we have not sown. That part of the assumption, however, is wrong.

After all, someone else can perform an action – can “do a karma,” so to speak – for me, and I can benefit from it too. For example, farmers sow their seeds in the fields, and the vegetables they grow come to my table and I enjoy them. I did not sow those seeds, but I reaped their benefits. The things we enjoy are rarely the result of our personal actions alone, but are very much affected by the actions of the environment around us – in fact, the environment has a 99.9 percent role in what we say and do and we’ve got only a 0.1 percent role!

Really, the environment’s karma is always acting on us and moving us in certain directions. So if you say, “my karma alone determines my future,” that’s not correct. If you want to affect your future – which is 99.9 percent determined by the karma of others around you – then you’ve got to work on the environment, not just yourself.

That’s why a management expert like Peter Drucker says the performance of a company is determined largely by forces outside the company. In the same way, your karmic results do not depend solely upon your efforts, but also on the environment around you. If your environment is a supportive one, your progress will be excellent. If your environment is working against you, you’ll lose no matter how hard you try.

And that’s the crux of the matter. You alone cannot determine your future. Everyone is creating it together. That’s why Krishna says to Arjuna:

|| karmani eva adhikarah te; ma phaleshu kadachana ||

It means essentially, “You have the right to act, but not to the results of acting.” Again, that’s because the results will be determined by the environment; they’re not in Arjuna’s control – they’re not in your control. If you want to affect that massive portion of your destiny that is controlled by the environment, then you must either become the environment or else tune in to its wishes and visions so that it will support you and help amplify your efforts.

So that’s how I look at karma: It’s predetermined to a large extent – yes, agreed – but in a non-personal sense. And that is what puts the arrow on Time; that’s what pins it down. Even so, I’m not so sure that people really get this part of it. They are always saying, “I’m the result of my karma alone.” But if you think about that for even a moment, it doesn’t make sense – not even from the moment of your birth! Your father and mother did some karma and as a result of that karma you were born into this world. Yes, the parents’ karma reflects so very strongly on their children.
And that’s the situation: The environment plays a large part in your life. You’re doing your work; you’re doing your karma properly. And yet, because of someone else’s action, you suffer. What is to be done about that?

There are two things to be done: (1) you can remove yourself from your environment. If you were born in, say, Nicaragua, you can go to the U.S.A., Land of Opportunity. Pack up, leave everything behind, move to a new place; see if it helps. Or (2) you can help improve your present environment by tuning in to it; by merging with it. You’ve got to lose yourself. You’ve got to become your environment and work from there.

Aggregates of Life

That’s where selflessness comes into the picture. In order to lose yourself and merge into your environment, you’ve got to understand the impulses that drive that environment. That is what all of our laws and constitutions and so on are trying to do – to abstract the principles that govern a society and define a life system or value system that extends beyond the personal.

So I’ve got my life, and my family has its own “family life.” And every village and town likewise has a life of its own. Every nation has a life. The international regime has a life. And each of these lives contains separate lives within it. Each constitutes a sub-life of all these units. So there’s nothing wrong in assuming that a nation or even a corporation has a life. A corporation is a living entity bound by certain rules and regulations which govern the flow of information in and around it. These flows are like the nervous currents that flow in our own bodies.

You see, a human being is not a single entity. It’s a conglomerate. Every second there are about 1.2 million cells coming into your blood stream and another 1.2 million cells dying. It’s a stream of life, which we simply consider – for convenience – to be a single person, a single entity. But this person does not die with each blood cell that dies and is not reborn with every new cell. So many lives are flowing through us. With such a complicated system in place, it really can’t be said that such-and-such a person is always there – because he or she is becoming a different person with every second, every millisecond, and every nanosecond.

Each day you can put your feet in the river; but it’s not the same river. It’s a different river – different water, different fish, different silt and debris, different microbes with every passing moment – but you still call it by the same name. Likewise with the human entity: I call myself Sastry; but I’m not the same Sastry I was even one second ago.

So these names are confusing. The concept of the “individual self” is actually the concept of an aggregate. And once you accept that an aggregate can have a life – independent of any particular cell coming into or passing out of it – then you’ll have no difficulty in understanding that a family has a life, a company has a life, a village has a life, a city has a life, Earth has a life, every planet has a life, the solar system has a life, Space has life. All of these are aggregate concepts; they simply represent different levels of the organization of intelligence.

Harmonizing with the Environment

To live in these aggregates – to live in your environment – requires both cooperation and a competitive spirit. Competitiveness enhances our quality of life; so does cooperation – but they are still opposing forces. How much competitiveness is appropriate and how much cooperation is a balance that each society strikes in its own way: A capitalist society defines it in one way, a communist society in another; and a religious institution will define it in yet a third way. There are different degrees of balance required, depending upon each given setup or context. Moreover, what is right for one person at one point of time is wrong for another person at another point of time: In the U.S.A., it’s often wrong if you’re not dating; in India, it’s often wrong if you are.
So how do we harmonize our own personal values with those of the environment in which we must function? Must we sometimes forsake our personal values? Should we forsake them here and there, now and then, or should we not?

Let’s look at the example of an orchestral musical composition. There is harmony in the music because the conductor tells the individual musicians in the orchestra, “Okay, now you play the violin at this octave, and you play the cymbals at this frequency,” and so on. And in order to achieve harmony, the musicians follow the conductor’s orders. In other words, we might say, they suppress their individual freedom to some extent – because if they were all to simply do their own thing, it would spoil the harmony. Similarly, for the sake of maintaining harmony in the aggregate life of our society, we are expected to follow certain rules and regulations – though the dynamic of following them is necessarily a suppression of our individual freedom.


In the world of business, to be frank, profitable trade usually depends upon someone cheating somebody else: “Vyaparo dhroha chintanam.” You have to give something less than what you get in order to make a profit, and profit is the supreme goal of business. Thus, corruption – in the sense of illegitimate earning – is necessarily part of the corporate ethic. In the same way, at any given moment, there are certain cells within you that represent chaos and disease, and others that represent order and maintenance. There is a war constantly ongoing between these two. Sometimes the protective white cells die; sometimes the invaders die; it’s is a matter of life and death for the cells involved. Similarly, a company’s ethics represent the aggregate life of the corporate entity, whereas the personal ethics of an individual employee within that entity represent the life of the self. And these interests do diverge sometimes. They too can be at war.

Because it is a clash of values. An honest man in a corrupt society is a misfit: Either he becomes corrupt as well, or he perishes. That’s just the way things are. Say, for example, that you need to get a government official’s approval for some project and he lets you understand that a little money under the table will help make things happen. It’s called “expediting money.” Not corruption, of course.
What should you do? You’ve got to weigh the consequences – sometimes they’re in your favor and sometimes not. And then you make a decision.

Which decision? I’ll just say this: Peace of mind loses the battle when making money becomes the goal. People believe that money and the power are the means to achieving peace of mind. Then once they’ve accumulated these “means,” they reason that since they can get peace of mind eventually anyway, why worry about it today? So it doesn’t work – at the end of the day, you’ve got to ask yourself, “Look, do I want peace of mind? Or do I want power and money, which are the means to peace of mind?” If you choose the means, you forfeit the end: That’s the clash that exists.
You see, what’s wrong with the present paradigm is the equation that people make between possessions and happiness: The more you have, the happier you are, right? But that equation is valid only to certain extent: If you have a comfortable, air-conditioned house, what does it matter if that house has 60 rooms? You can only sleep in one of them. They say Bill Gates has a house with 120 rooms! But how many rooms can he live in?

What you enjoy is your wealth – what you don’t enjoy really isn’t yours at all. So this proportionality between possessions and peace flattens everything out. If I visit my friend’s home for the night and he gives me the master bedroom to sleep in, then it’s my house for the time I’m there. If you just let go of the concept of ownership, then all the houses in the world are yours. The concepts of “I” and “mine” are the problems.

The problem people have is failing to distinguish the point at which their wants and means are in proportion with one another. Because once you’ve crossed that equilibrium, it makes no difference whatsoever whether you have one million or 100 millions. Once you realize this truth, you’re free to say, “I’ve got enough. I don’t have to bend to anyone.”

Astrology and the Environment


You can change the future, but you cannot know it. You can know the past, but you cannot change it. The present is the interface between knowing and changing, between knowing and acting. The past is history, the future a mystery. The past is His-story and the future is Her-story. The future belongs to the Mother and the past belongs to the Father.
It would be nice to know the future. All fear is caused by not knowing what the future holds. So people try to dispel its mystery by various means, such as astrology. And astrology can sometimes be a convenient thing, too! Say somebody has made a marriage proposal to your daughter. You don’t like the match, but you don’t want to take the blame for rejecting it. So you say, “The stars are bad; what can we do?”
As a result, many people conclude that astrology is based on myth. And it seems like a pretty good conclusion, doesn’t it? Think about it: “What is your time of birth?” Well, what does that mean? Is it the time when the sperm meets the egg? Or is it when life occurs in the womb, which is the third month? Or is it when the head comes out of the womb? Or when the whole body comes out? Or when you cut the umbilical cord? What is the precise time of birth? Nobody specifies. What for? That’s why they call astrology a pseudo-science.
But if we understand that every human being has a life, and that every planet has a life, and that each life interacts somehow with all other lives and therefore exerts some influence – well, then we can begin to understand astrology. The solar system has a life. And within that living entity, each planet is influencing the system’s other entities in subtle ways that don’t depend upon distance. To understand these interactions, or to get the right intuition about them, you need to do sadhana. For sadhakas, astrology works 100 percent. For people who want to earn money, it’s all bunkum. There is a science and a non-science to astrology. And that is the difference between them.
So you do your sadhana. And once you realize that you are the Truth, what need have you to do more? Once you realize that all efforts take you away from yourself, then you can remove all the effort and just be what you are. What sadhana am I doing? I’m sitting and talking. I’m not doing japa. I’m not doing anything, just easing myself into a state of peace. That is what I’m doing.

Understanding Fear

All fear, once again, is caused by not knowing what the future holds. It’s the fear of the unknown. And basically, it’s a part of your programming as a human being. For most of human history, fear was necessary part of the life process itself. In the early days of civilization, people were living in the forests, jungles, savannahs – there was no light at night; no amenities. So every little noise that one heard had to be immediately interpreted and understood: “Should I be afraid of it? Should I face it? Should I run away? How should I react to it?” Fight or flight; that kind of instinct was necessary. And basically it’s a process of naming – the mind seeks to name what it perceives, and if it cannot find a name then its level of alertness spikes.

What happens at a biochemical level is that catecholamines are released into the bloodstream, abruptly raising your energy to levels ten or 20 times higher than normal. Suddenly you’re hit with a rush of energy strong enough to let you battle a tiger if necessary. The catecholamines are released during that brief moment before reasoning, understanding and labeling kick in. It’s a superpower charge that lasts only ten seconds at the most and then dies down.

At that point, the mind takes another route; it begins reasoning and labeling: “Okay, that sound is the hiss of a snake; I should be afraid of it.” Once that thought arises, it’s no longer a general rush of catecholamines pumping into your bloodstream; it’s specifically a dose of adrenalin. The adrenalin prepares your system for a longer, sustained energy release of 20 minutes or so. Unlike the catecholamines, it can’t deliver 20 times your normal energy – the adrenalin gives you much less; maybe 1.1 times normal. Then, after a little while, if your system keeps getting the same kind of impulse over and over, it releases additional shots of adrenalin. And as the adrenalin level in your bloodstream builds, there comes a point where the threshold is exceeded. At that moment, fear takes over.

So it’s a three-step process: First, at the pre-recognition stage, there is no fear. Next, at the post-recognition/pre-reason threshold, there is unknown fear. And finally, at the moment our mind crosses that threshold from the subconscious to the conscious level, there is known fear. If you want to learn more about these concepts, you can read the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Psychiatry explores fear quite deeply.

But let me put it to you very simply: It’s Krishna you’re afraid of. It’s Kali you’re afraid of. The unknowable; the unseen; death; the abyss into which you must one day fall, and from which you believe you can never return. The vastness of Space, the loss of your identity – that is what you fear.
And that fear is with you from the moment of your birth, when you emerge from your mother’s womb. Before birth, the umbilical cord connected you to your mother. Through it, blood streamed from your mother into to you; through it, your mother breathed for you, with oxygen mixed into your blood. There’s no need to breathe as you drift in the amniotic fluid; it’s so nice and smooth inside. But then you grow and grow, and things quickly change – soon you’re fighting for a little space.
Then one day, you begin to fall, slipping downward. You’re being squeezed; your entire body is under stress. Suddenly, something hard and cold clasps your head and you don’t even have the language to express the fear. And that fear only increases once you emerge from the birth canal, your warm liquid environment abruptly replaced by an air environment. The umbilical cord is cut, and with it your oxygen supply. You’re fighting for breath. Your lungs are filled with liquid, so the nurse holds your feet and gives you a slap. You cry out as your lungs fill with air.

So you’re crying for life from the very moment of your birth. It is the deepest trauma your system ever knew, and you’re afraid of repeating the process: “Am I going to die again?” That’s your unknown fear and you have no language to express it. Before a child is socialized and educated, its only language is laughing and crying – binary emotion. You’re happy, you’re sad. You’re hungry, you’re full. You don’t know what you want. Then suddenly something pokes into your mouth and you start sucking; an instinctive reflex. You taste some sweet liquid and suddenly you’re happy and you smile. So the breast is a child’s first interaction with its mother after the womb – is it any wonder there are so many breast fixations on the male side?

From the womb to the breast and on into the world beyond, our individual lives – and consequently, our individual karmic dispositions – are profoundly driven by the myriad environments we pass through on our journey. If you want to change the aggregate values of the environments you inhabit, you’ve basically got to start a new society and then educate its individual members into these new values. In the meantime, you have a choice: You can either merge with your environment and help drive its flow, or else be swept up in it and let it drive you.

Lingam of Devi


Guruji: On face value it is the image of a lingam in union with a yoni, the male principle penetrating the female." The deeper esoteric (i.e., initiatory) meaning, however, is that "the lingam is actually emerging from the yoni. In other words, what one is viewing from the exoteric perspective as the God and Goddess in union, is - from the esoteric perspective - the Goddess's own lingam.

Worship of Lalitha: a Tantra of beauty, bliss and immortality - Sutras of Guruji


The Tantra is an initiation, a death to profane world and a rebirth into a sacred world of united and immortal consciousness.

Let us consider briefly the causes of incomplete knowledge and how it makes our present human condition. And how this makes up our ego, and its consequences of fear, lust, anger, greed, delusion, pride and envy. And how we can free ourselves. And what freedom means.

 1. Causes of incomplete knowledge.

Things are not what they seem to be.

How do we perceive the world around us? Through our senses. Through sound, touch, form, taste and smell, or through thinking. All these six faculties are filters.

Let us look at the nature of these filters.

SABDA = sound:  We HEAR only what is in this room.  We cant hear what is far away. Also we can hear only the sounds in the frequency range of some 15 cycles/sec to 15000.  We don't hear the ultra or infra sounds which some animals can. 

SPARSA= touch:  We feel the TOUCH only within a few millimeters of our surface.  Beyond that we don't feel any thing.  Our skin acts as a sharp cut-off filter within and outside of the body surface.

ROOPA=form:  We SEE nearby objects much bigger than far away objects. Also we can only see one octave of wavelengths in the entire electro-magnetic spectrum.  Also we see things only from a single direction.  We cannot see a thing from all angles, and all distances.  How would an object look if we see it from all sides at once?  From all distances?  With all magnifications? Would it be the same as our normal vision ? How does a spinning top appear with pictures on it?  How would the world appear if we had X ray vision?  Would our skin based cosmetics industry survive?

RASA=taste:  We TASTE only what is on our tongue.

GANDHA=smell:  We SMELL only what enters our noses.

MANAS=mind:  Our MIND reproduces these sensations through remembering, and can some times overcome some limitations of sensory filters by the logical thinking.  Yet, it cannot penetrate other minds and read what is in other thoughts as if the thoughts were its own. It can remember the past and sometimes the future too; but that is rare.  Thus the mind as an instrument has its many limitations. It is also a filter.

The world we are perceiving is not really as it seems to be.  So, our experience is an illusion.  All the senses and the mind are distorting it in so many ways.  They are so immediate, so intimately connected to us that we do not even suspect that our perceptions are wrong and that the world we experience bears no resemblance to the reality. It is not what is really out there.

What we know or can know through senses or reasoning is infinitesimal.  What we do not see is far more important than what we see.

2. Ego is illusion coming from incompleteness.
Ego is the idea:  this is me, these are mine; this is not me, these are not my people.

Given the filters of our perceptions, is it not natural that we give importance to local experiences and no importance at all to things far away? The ideas of I and mine, that this is what I am and these are my people, forms the core of ego.  All my life I try to protect these ideas.

We understand that it is NOT our fault that we have the ideas of I and mine so deeply embedded in us. But it is in the very nature of our senses that these concepts are embedded.

If we wish to overcome the limitations of ego, we have to let go of our attachments to senses and the information they bring.  Just as I can't get an idea of a carpet if I attach a microscope to my eye even if I research for a thousand years, I cannot get an idea of the universe with the limiting vision.  I have to let go of the microscope; I have to let go of the senses.  Then only I get a chance to perceive the reality.  The freedom we talk about is the freedom from the senses, or attachment to sense based information.

The separation between I and world, mine and not mine comes from the local nature of senses.

Concepts of I and mine make the passions. How? I see some thing. I don't know what it is. Fear comes. I like it, I want it, Desire/Lust is born. If I don't get what I want, I get Anger, feel helpless, and hunger for power comes. If I get what I want, I don't want to let go of it, possessiveness comes. I get so used to it, I can't even live without it. Delusion comes. I get the pride I have it; and jealousy some has it I don't have it. So, all these passions are born out of I and mine.

Also, I judge the information I receive based on what is good or bad for me. I notice that good brings me happiness, reduces misery, and preserves my identity, that is, maintains my separateness from the world.  Bad is the opposite of these things.

Judgments form the core of the structures of ego. Hatred, doubt, fear, shame, aversion, family, race, conduct: these 8 passions form the sub-structures of ego.

We HATE something or someone who brings misery to us.

We DOUBT if what is in front of us is good or bad.

We FEAR animals or persons unknown to us, who speak a foreign tongue.

We are ASHAMED of doing things we really want to do.

We develop AVERSION to things we judge as bad.

We form the idea of our FAMILY and try to do everything for them.

We identify with our RACE and pronounce others inferior or bad.

We believe that we have to conform to the norms of CONDUCT without questioning for fear of punishment or rejection.

Thus we develop the emotions of Hatred, Doubt, Fear, Shame, Aversion, Family, Race and Conduct from trying to protect the ideas of I and mine. These are the sub structures of ego. All because of the nature of our sense-based information!

Ego is separation, of the one reality into two polar opposites: Subject and object.  Ego is illusion; illusion is based on sensory information which filters reality.  Ego breaks down if

    1. we understand the nature of senses,

   2. the need to let go of our attachment to senses,

   3. train ourselves to work free of filters and limitations,

   4. and finally let go of sense limits by suspending
      judgments.

All these are the objects of Goddess worship, and Tantra of Lalitha.

This is exactly what Lalitha's form teaches us; she holds the five senses in one hand and the mind which seeks them in another. " Mano roopa ikshu kodanda, pancha tanmatra sayaka." Yoga is keeping mind separate from senses which bring in limited senses to couple with unlimited senses. This is what we mean by saying that we die to the profane world, to be born into the divine prospect of immortal beauty.


3.     SOHAM:   Object is Subject.
        Object is mirrored in the Subject.


Every thing that we see or know is mapped into our brain where thoughts are our first reality.  The world of our perceptions has no reality higher than our thoughts, which are themselves unreal. The objective world is mirrored in the Subject.  Remove the Subject. Who observes?  How can there be an observed thing or phenomenon without an observer?  The Subjective I implies the objective world of experience. The object is like a mirror image of the subject; it is the subject. The subject and object are mutual mirror images.

Ego is the deep rooted idea that the seer and the seen are different.  It is caused by illusion; it is an illusion.  It has no basis.  Just as nothing is left after we peel off successive layers of onion, so also ego vanishes when successive layers of ego like hate, doubt, fear, shame, aversion, family, race and conduct are peeled off. Once the ego is even temporarily suspended, subject merges into object, all separation is lost. That is being in tune with our true nature.

(Even with the ego intact, one can argue and establish that the subject and object are one. How? How is   I=World?   Is it not egoistic and megamania to say that I am the world? Logically, if A implies B and also B implies A, then it is true that A is the same as B, A is identical to B. I want to prove that Object and Subject are one. Object for me is the world. I am a part of this world; so Object implies Subject. If I do not exist, will the world exist for me ? So, I imply the world. The Subject implies the Object.  World contains me and I contain the world.  These are precisely the necessary and sufficient conditions for the equation "I = World" to hold).

These considerations go to suggest that our awareness is a mirror.  It reflects what is in front of it.  The mirror is itself never seen, unless it is unclean; but then it is no more a mirror.  The world is mapped onto the canvas of our awareness. The canvas is the brain.

What do I see if I stood in front of a mirror?  My own image. If I am wearing a hat, I see myself with it.  If I had 10 heads like the Ravana, I see my image having 10 heads. If I had 10 heads, 20 hands and 20 legs like Maha Kali, my image will have the same things. Now 10 heads, 20 hands, 20 legs can belong to 10 different people. If I were 10 different people myself, I will see my reflection as 10 different people. Just one more step on the same lines; if I was the whole world and stood in front of a pure mirror, I would see the world as my own image; I=World. No matter how much variety I see 'out' there, it is all me only.

Keeping the ego created by our senses we can still appreciate that what we see is ourselves, however much it appears to be different from us.  That is yoga=union:  what we see is what we are.  The world seen through filters is full of play.  If I remain a witness even when I participate in the drama of the world, I can practice yoga of play, like Krishna.

4.     Yoga Aaraamam
        Yoga is both play and rest.

This play aspect of Yoga is very interesting.  Krishna was said to have enjoyed playing with 16000 milk maids.  Let me stop and do a little calculation.  Assuming I spend one night with a woman, I need 16000/365= 50 years to be with all the 16000. Assuming again that I start from the age of 15, I would be 65 by the time I finished the whole lot.  How could I remain a child during all this time ?  What a prurient model for the repressed society of India of 1998!  Did he drink also ? Perhaps.  There was no prohibition then. Do the 1000 million Hindus care ?  How come he could have delivered the epic poem Bhagavad-Gita to Arjuna in the battlefield of deciding between right and wrong (Dharma kshetra) and between action and inaction (kuru kshetra)?  Let us understand this play: when life is looked upon as play, all is rest.

In the neck, there is a 16 petal lotus; at the crown, a 1000 petal lotus. If we join lines from each petal of neck lotus to the petal in the crown lotus, we get 16000 lines. Each line is a path in the brain; it represents a thought pattern. What Krishna did then was to watch each of these thought patterns as erotic play described as enjoying with the milk maids. Why milk maids? Milk comes from breasts.  So the loving interaction is at the heart level, the abodes of Sri Devi the protectress and Sri Lakshmi, the mother who gives plenty. Immunity from diseases and nourishment for the child both come from the breasts.  So the milk maids.

The story goes that in the circle dance, The wheel of Sri there was a Krishna between each pair of milk maids. And between each pair of Krishnas there was a milk maid. Were there 16000 Krishnas then or did he clone himself that many times?

The word Krishna like the word Kali, means a dark, unknown power. The power of time, moving silently like a river through the great void of space.  It is the great silence.  Krishna is the silence which watches as the subject, and Kali the silence in which the observer is absent.  The circle dance then means that between each pair of thoughts, there is subjective silence observing the neighboring thoughts, and between each pair of silences, there is a thought craving for the neighboring silences.

The story of Rasa leela of Krishna with the milk maids is a story of silence and thoughts alternating, in an erotic playfulness. The silence craves for thoughts; restless thoughts crave for silence.  Eros, craving, is the fundamental nature of silence; and Thanatos, the death wish is the fundamental nature of thoughts.  Doesn't each thought tend to end itself ?  That is its death wish, the suicidal tendency of thoughts.


5.     Life is death
        Life and death are continuous experiences of time flow.

Life seems so continuous, and death seems so final, like a full stop.  We are not afraid of living, but we are scared to death of the creepy death. Somehow, death seems so final.  Point of no return.  Dead end. One moment I am there.  Next, I am gone, inexplicably.  What in me goes away, where, at death ?  Where do these fears come from?  But before that, who are we?

What do we consist of?  Flesh, blood, bones, marrow, and billions of living cells.  This is what science teaches us.  Millions of living cells are dying and millions born every second in our very bodies.  I somehow think that I am an individual, though I consist of billions of living cells. To them, I am God, not even aware of their existence.

Have I given birth to these lives? Have I named them? Married them? Cared for their off spring? Do I feel any responsibility to these billions of lives whose community life is what I think I am ? The immunity cells are checking every cell entering our body boundaries with questions like " Do you belong here?  Do you have a valid visa? A work permit ? Have you come to enrich or poison our society ? "  If the answers they receive are not satisfactory, the visitors are killed and disposed of. Am I even aware of the terrible wars going on between my immunity cells and their foreign visitors ?

Every moment, a part of me is dying.  Every moment a part of me is being born.  Am I experiencing my dying part ? Real death is never experienced nor experienceable. Only life is observable, experienceable.  My life is a river.  Old water is going out, new water is coming in.  I am dying every moment.  I am being born every moment.  With every out-going breath I die.  With every in coming breath, I get life.  Every thought in me is making chemicals called hormones, or catacholins or adrenalin. They help nourish me, or put me in altered states of awareness, ready to fight or run away with sudden bursts of energy.

Can I show you that "me' sucking milk from my mother's breasts? That "me" is dead and gone, as surely as I would be when my body burns on the funeral pyre. Can I show you that "me' when I was a 7 year old going to school now ? In a picture, yes. In reality, no. That is also gone, that is also dead, never never to return. My childhood is dead, yet I continue to live. My youth is dead, yet I continue to live. Life seems to go on merrily without interruption through so much of unremitting death all around. Is death a finality then ? Is it not just another way of looking at life ? Could it be that death and life are synonymous ?

The statement "I am living continuously" is completely equivalent to the statement "I am dying continuously". Death then is not such a finality after all. Because I am dying and I am living at the same time. Just like a river, I have a name. The water is not the same, nothing is the same, there is no constancy. The only constancy seems to be the concepts of "I" and "me". Even the things that belong to me are not constant. For some time, yes. Not for all time. All the things I own, all my relationships, all have to fade away. I cannot own any thing or any one forever.

Rama told Sita once:  like a pair of logs that were drifting and came together in a stream, we came together.  We continue together for some time.  And some whirlpool comes along and one of us sinks in it.  The other continues along.

The only string that runs through all my life/death experiences is the subjective "I" and the subjective "me". That seems to be the only reality, the only constant.

Life and death are two names for one process, called change. We can call it life, we can call it death. Does it matter ? They not only co-exist, but in fact they are one and the same. This is a very important realization to have. Then the fear of death goes away once for all.

Let me tell you about a dream I had. I was a king. I wanted to go for a royal hunt. My wives told me to be careful. I was riding an elephant. Dogs were barking and following. Some men were following with drums, others with fires burning at the end of sticks. The forest we were going through became very dense. I sighted a tiger. I shot it with an arrow. It got hit, and jumped on me. I narrowly escaped death. I woke up, perspiring.

Now that I am fully awake, I ask myself the following questions and get the answers.  Who was the king ?  I. Who were his wives ? I. Who was the elephant on which I was riding?  I. Who were the barking dogs ?  I. Who were the men with drums and with lights ?  I. Who was the forest?  I. Who was the tiger ?  I. Who killed the tiger ?  I. Who was killed ?  I. Who was afraid of whom ? I was afraid of myself. Who am I now ? None of these things. Such is the nature of illusion and such is the nature of knowledge. Can we say then that knowledge is superior to illusion? A thumping No!

In my state of dreaming all these things were true enough. I had reason to be careful, I had reason to be afraid. But once I am awake, I have no reason to be afraid any more. I realize that I lived in two states; dream and awake.  Both denied the knowledge of the other state.  In my dream, if the tiger told me, " Hey king, don't be scared, I am going to eat you, but you will not die", I would surely have my doubts. I would suspect the motives of the tiger. When I am awake ? I could accept it with laughter, playing Siva, who wins over death ( Mrityum Jaya).

Let us end this discussion on philosophy and move on to a presentation of adoring the Goddess, preparing Nectar, Her milk. Let us drink that, to get immortality.

6. Particle is wave
Energy is condensed in matter, dispersed in a wave.

7. Order is disorder
Awareness orders, insentience disorders.

They are two poles of one reality.

8. Witness the drama
Enjoy the spectacle, remain calm.

9. Be yourself
Do what you want.

Wings of light





Wings of light to you!

With the wings, you light up brightly with all colours. You radiate charm, wisdom, healing, happiness, abundance, peace, music, dance and prayer. These are the nine kinds of lights adorning your body. Your mind is a cool lake of love, service and creativity. You cool passions with love, and serve all with pleasure. Your mere presence transports all around you into realms of delights undreamt of. You become an island of jewels, mani dveepa, the meaning of great Buddhist mantra "om mani padme hum", I am the coral in a lotus.

Lotus is the awareness of the world, and coral concentrates it to make it a supreme power of ecstasy.Sri Vidya explores this concept of love and service through an intimate ritual of the divine mother. Love cannot exist without intimacy with the divine because it has to move from distance to closeness to equality, and from equality to identity. Service, healing, music, dance and fine arts are the media to propagate love and service, the two wings of light.

Dance is yoga, music is meditation. In dance and music, positive attitudes of both body and mind participate in becoming one with the devi. We promote Sri Vidya through group rituals involving song and dance. Devipuram has been chosen by Devi as a starting point to move from darkness to light, from untruth to truth.

The path is through an enjoyable combination of loving and serving, dance and music. Remember again that loving fulfils you and serving puts power into that fulfilment. Evolution is quicker through participatory endeavour. It is not only quicker, but much needed in this modern age.